Q. What do you call a fly on cannabis? A. A Hight Flyer!   PainfulPuns.com - Garden Puns, Green Jokes, Grow Groans!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to visit our sponsors:

Q. What did the alien dandelion say to the earth dandelion? A. Take Me To Your Weeder!
Q. Why did the cabbage win the race? A. Because it was a head!
Q. What do you call it when your relatives grow wee in their backyard? A. A Joint Family Venture!
An Orange Asks: Orange you glad you saw this pun?

 


Gardener Jokes, Grown Puns, Homegrown Humor
Dig up a bounty of garden humor, horticulture jokes, and pollenated puns that are hard to beet.

Garden Jokes, Tree-Mendous Humor, Plant Puns
('Cause Homegrown Humor and Garden Puns Couldn't Grow TOO Mainstream for Backyard Gardening Enthusiasts!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Grounded jokes, dirty puns, and loamy laughs lurk buried deep ahead.
| Gardening Jokes and Blooming Funny Garden Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes |
| Flower Jokes and Florist Pun | Lawn Mower Jokes and Sod Puns | Tree Jokes and Pine Puns |
| Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Happy 420 Jokes |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickled Puns | Potato Jokes | Salad Puns | Tomato Jokes | Vegetable Humor |
| Big Bigfoot Laughs | Deer Jokes | Farm Animal Jokes | Donkey Jokes | Wildlife Animal Jokes |

Hulk Asks: What is a great name for a gardener? A. Alonso Greene!What kind of socks do you need to plant garlic? Garden hose!Q. What do you get if you cross a tree and a baseball player? A. Babe Root!

Green Fact of the Day: Gardeners always know the ground rules!

Q. Why is plant science attractive to fugitives?
A. Botony gives you xylem.

Q. Why is The Hulk such a good Internet gardener?
A. He always backs up his sage! And, he bides his thyme on Twitter.

Q. Why don't peas rule the world today?
A. Due to the dawning of the Age of Asparagus.

Q. What do cloves use for money?
A. Garlic bread.

Q. Which will win the salad race: the lettuce, a faucet, or a tomato?
A. The lettuce is a head, the faucet is still running, and the tomato will eventually ketchup.

Q. How can you tell you need to turn on your sprinklers and water your garden?
A. Your trees are whistling for dogs!

Q. Why are frogs great outfielders?
A. Because they never miss a fly!

Q. What's the difference between a high-hit baseball and a maggot's father?
A. One is a pop fly and the other is a fly pop.

Q. What did the tree say to the wind? A. Leaf me alone!Q. How many climate change skeptics does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. It's too early to say if the light bulb needs changing!Q. Why is lettuce the most loving vegetable? A. Because it's all heart!

Q. How do trees get onto the Internet?
A. They log in!

Q. What is a tree's least favorite month of the year?
A. Sap-tember!

It's been so dry here this month that the trees are whistling for dogs!

Q. Why did the green grower get kicked out of the garden?
A. For publically taking a pea!

Q. What do some skeptics say about climate change?
A. Snow joke!

Q. What's a math teacher's fave tree?
A. Geometry.

Q. What does an artichoke say when you eat salad?
A. Aw, have a heart!

Q. Why did the man from Oz eat artichokes?
A. He sought heart.

Q. How is a Bach concerto like a green growing garden plant?
A. Both are organic.

Q. What do you call somebody who finds jobs for cabbage? A. A head hunter!Q. How much is a pirate willing to pay for corn? A. A Buck An Ear!What do you get if you cross a bullet with a leafless tree? A Cartridge In A Bare Tree

Q. Which garden vegetables do plumbers like best?
A. Leeks!

Q. How do you describe somebody who doesn't like green vegetables?
A. Reddy to march to a different beet.

Q. How do you know it's Honeydew?
A. Because thyme is getting on, dear.

Q. Who is the father of really bad veggie jokes?
A. Pop Corn!

Q. Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield?
A. There are too many ears!

Q. How are some farmers cruel?
A. They pull corn by the ears!

Q. Why was botany Hitler's favorite subject?
A. Because botany is all about Germination!

Q. What has no fingers, but has many rings?
A. A tree.

Almost as good as a paper Xmas card: When vegetables want to converse with petunias, they use a cell phone and cauliflower.

Q. What did a root veggie say to another on alentin's Day? A. You make my heart beet faster!Q. Why does Santa have three gardens? A. So that he can Ho Ho Ho!Q. What does an agreeable pickle say? A. I relish the idea!

Q. What happens if you eat too many green peppers?
A. You get a bell-y-ache.

Colorado Gardening Point to Ponder: If you wear cowboy boots and western wear, are you ranch dressing?

Q. How do you compliment a vegetable gardener?
A. Smashing Pumpkins, Man!

Q. What do you call cutting down an Xmas tree?
A. Christmas chopping.

Q. Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
A. Because the presents beneath them.

Q. What happened when the gardener decided to plant only nectarines trees?
A. Everything went peachy keen.

Q. What do you call a cucumber from the rainforest?
A. A Tro-pickle.

Q. What is a cucumber's favorite letter?
A. They always pick L!

Q. What does a warlock gardener usually rap about?
A. Witches and hoes.

| Gardening Jokes and Blooming Funny Garden Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Farmer Jokes |
| Flower Jokes and Florist Pun | Lawn Mower Jokes and Sod Puns | Tree Jokes and Pine Puns |

| Garden Gnome Jokes | Lost Gnome Jokes | Creepy Garden Gnome Puns | Mobile Gnome Jokes |
| Gnome Grown Weed Humor | Weed Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Happy 420 Jokes |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickled Puns | Potato Jokes | Salad Puns | Tomato Jokes | Vegetable Humor |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Puns | Lemon Puns | Orange Puns | Strawberry Jokes |
| Animal Poop Puns | Bear Jokes | Insect Jokes | Rodent Jokes | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns |
| Big Bigfoot Laughs | Deer Jokes | Farm Animal Jokes | Donkey Jokes | Wildlife Animal Jokes |


PainfulPuns Home
You're still growing strong, so here's even more garden variety humor,
homegrown jokes, and pollenated painful puns that are weedy hard to beet:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Chef Jokes | Cheese Puns | Colorado Jokes | Crappy Puns | Daily Groans | Druggist Jokes | Fit Dieting Jokes |
| Gym Jokes | Hipster Jokes | Monster Jokes | Mountain Jokes | Music Humor | Pirate Jokes | Police Puns |
| Scientist Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather Jokes | Wine Jokes |

Edible Puns, Fun with Food Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves Gnome Puns Intended Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.