Q. What do you call a strawberry that uses foul language? A. Berry rude!   PainfulPuns.com - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

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Q. What do bananas say when they answer the phone? A. Yellow!
An Orange Asks: Orange you glad you saw this pun?
Q. When will the trail mix have enough money to buy a map? A. When the bananas chip in!
Q. What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon? A. Pork Rinds!
Q. Why was the ice cream social canceled? A. The banan split with the cream!


Fruity Humor, Berry Funny Jokes, Juicy Puns
Pick from berry sweet jokes, zesty puns, juicy laughs and ripe humor you'll find a-peeling.

Fruit Jokes, Fruity Humor, Fun With Fruit
(Because Organic Fruit Fights Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in an Orchard, Berry Patch, or Produce Aisle!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Fruity humor may cause sweet laughter, sticky fingers, and fruit flies.
| Ripe Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon Jokes | Orange Puns |
| Juicy Strawberry Jokes | Baker Puns, Bakery Jokes | 2 | Sweet Dessert Puns | 2 | Pie Jokes |
| Beverage Humor | Coffee Jokes | 2 | Soda Funny Puns | Beer Jokes | Wine Lover Laughs |

Crow Chef Says: Baby, if you were a fruit, you'd be a fine-apple!Q. Why don't melons get married? A. Because They Cantaloupe!Q. What do you get if you cross an apple tree with a shellfish? A. Crab apples!

Q. What do you get if you cross an apple and a Christmas tree?
A. A Pineapple.

Q. What do you call a gassy apple?
A. Tooty Fruity!

Q. Where do apples like to go hiking?
A. Mt. Fuji.

Q. Why did the pie apple cry?
A. Because it's peelings were hurt!

Q. Why did the guy break up with his watermelon vendor girlfriend?
A. Because she was always so melon-dramatic about everything!

Q. What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
A. Neck-tarines.

Q. What is the guideline for determining watermelon ripeness?
A. Rule of thump.

Q. What do you call a fruit that's rough around the edges?
A. A bad apple.

Q. What did the apple say after Thanksgiving dinner?
A. Good Pie, Everybody!

Q. Which two things might a fruit-loving classic car buff have handy?
A. Peaches and chrome.

Gorilla Telling Banana Jokes: What do fruit use to buy things? A. Banana Bread!Q. What is a ghost's favorite fruit? A. Booberries!Q. Why did the orange go out with a prune? A. It couldn't find a date!

Q. Why don't bananas ever get lonely?
A. They always hang out in bunches!

Q. What do you call a fruit that doesn't take any crap from anybody?
A. Top banana!

Q. How are cereal bananas and cows alike?
A. They all get milked in the morning!

Q. Why did the innocent blueberry get framed for the crime?
A. The evidence was a strawberry plant!

Q. What really scares a strawberry?
A. A Boo-berry!

Q. Which folksong is actually about a fruity dessert pastry from New England?
A. Yankee Strudel.

Q. Why was the orange so good at running races?
A. It was always juiced up and ready to go!

Q. Why do oranges have such great eyesight?
A. They keep their eyes peeled!

Q. Where do plastic citrus fruit live?
A. Orange County!

Q. What did one strawberry say to another? A. If you weren't so sweet, we wouldn't be in this jam!If you placw a peach or cherry in a pail, is that a dupe in the bucket?Q. How many grams of protein are in strawberry pi? A. 3.1415926589...

Q. How did the unripe strawberry feel about the ripe strawberry?
A. It was green with envy!

Q. How did the fruit basket get across the river?
A. On the straw ferry!

Q. Which tropical fruit has a pie right in the middle of it?
A. A Papaya.

Home Grown Fruit Pun of the Day: Did you hear the joke about Bing cherries? It was pitiful!

Q. What do you call the time period in between eating cherries?
A. A pit stop!

Q. Why shouldn't you criticize cranberries on Thanksgiving?
A. 'Cause if you make them sad, they'll be blueberries and that's not the traditional side dish.

Q. Why did everybody like that strawberry so much?
A. Because it was so sweet.

Q. What did the fruit pirate wear over one eye?
A. A strawberry patch!

Q. How did the old fruit die?
A. It pear-ished.

Q. What did one watermelon say to another on Valentine's Day? A. You're on in a melon!Crow  Chef Asks: Which fruit do you eat when you're sad? A. Blueberries!Q. What do you get if you cross a cat and a lemon? A. A sour puss!

Did you hear about the watermelon that didn't like sharing the garden with passion vines? They started to grow in him.

Q. What do you call a serial killer watermelon?
A. A slaughter melon!

Q. Why do citrus fruits dislike algebra?
A. Because they always compare apples to oranges.

Q. Why did the blueberry make such a good reporter?
A. It always had fruitful discussions.

Q. What do you call a blueberry that got stepped on?
A. Toe jam.

Q. Why did the blueberry go out with a fig?
A. It couldn't find a date.

When life gives you lemons, just find somebody with salt and tequila!

Q. What did the citrus fruit call thier performs for charity?
A. Lemon Aid.

Fruity Fact of the Day: Did you know that lemons and limes like to fight? Yes, they're bitter rivals.

Q. What do you give to a sick lemon? A. Lemon Aid!What is a scarecrow's favorite fruit? Straw-berries!Gorilla asks: What is the hippest kind of fruit? A. A bae-nae-nae!

Q. What did the lemon say to the lime?
A. Sour you doing?

Q. What is a skeleton's favorite fruit?
A. Spineapple.

Q. What is it called when somebody topples over a tangy fruit pie?
A. Upsetting the apple tart.

Q. Why did the cops arrest the guy who had a gun made out of lime Jell-o?
A. For carrying a congealed weapon.

Q. Where do they make strawberries?
A. At the strawberry plant.

Q. What did the woman say to her dog, Barry, after he dug up her fruit patch?
A. "That's the last straw, Barry!"

Q. What happened when the fruit farmer decided to specialize in nectarines?
A. Everything was peachy keen.

Q. What do you call a hangun that looks lke a piece of fruit?
A. A bangnana.

Q. What is yellow on the outside, but green on the inside?
A. A cucumber wearing a banana costume.

Q. Which currency do fruit use to make purchases?
A. Banana bread dough.

Q. Why didn't the banana yell Hi?
A. Because it could only yellow.

Q. What do you call a stick of dynamite hidden inside a piece of fruit?
A. A big bangnana.

| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Dessert Puns | 2 | Pie | Beverage Humor | Coffee | 2 | Soda | Beer | Wine |
| Nut Jokes | Gourmet Grins | Dinner Jokes | Lunch LOLs | Kitchen Gadget Jokes | Old Chef LOLs |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons | Foodie Humor |
| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Waiter | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta | Take Out Food |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast LOLs |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet | Vegetarian, Vegan Puns | Fitness Dieting Jokes | 2 | Grocery Store |

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You've grown along this far, so here's even more a-peeling humor,
ripe grins, sweet
laughter, juicy jokes, and fruity painful puns to pick from:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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| Math Jokes | Marriage Jokes | Money Jokes | Monkey Jokes | Musician Jokes | Psychic Jokes | Rap Jokes |
| Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Teacher Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weed Jokes |

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