What is the technical name for coffee?
A. Brake fluid!
What is it called when an auto mechanic pauses for a cup
A. A coffee brake.
Fact: Coffee is the most important meal of the day.
of the Day: It's I before E unless it's Budweiser, caffeine,
or codeine. Coincidence, or not?
What happened when the blonde used Redbull to brew her coffee
instead of water?
A. She got halfway to work and realized she forgot her car.
Why don't snakes drink coffee?
A. Because it makes them viper-active.
What happened when the blonde put coffee on a clear grass
A. It was filtered beyond opacity.
What happened after a guy read a news report saying coffee
could kill him?
A. He quit reading that report.
What is fat, hairy, and drinks a lot of coffee?
A. Java the Hutt.
What did the Enterprise replicator say to Captain Kirk when
he ordered coffee?
A. Beam me up, biscotti!
Wars Jitter of the Day: I like my coffee how I like my Death
Star – huge, on the dark side, and strong enough to
How does an evil sorcerer like his coffee?
A. The same way he likes his magic, dark.
Barista Quote of the Day: I like my coffee black, just
like my soul.
Wars Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?
Palpatine: Brew it.
What do you call joe that just won't stop brewing?
A. Stand your ground coffee.
Which kind of coffee does a fruit cake like best?
How do you coffee is taking over your entire life?
A. You named your cats Cream and Sugar.
Java Thought of the Day: Coffee is the silent victim in
your home because it gets mugged every day.
Much Caffeine Pun: Did you know it's a sin for a woman to
make coffee? Yeah, in the Bible it says "He Brews."
Why don't snowmen drink coffee?
A. Because it goes right through them.
How do you know you have a serious coffee addiction?
A. Instant coffee takes too long.
Laugh of the Day: Why did the barista get so angry when
the guy knocked over her container of cash and coins? After
all, the sign said: tip jar.
How do you know when you've had too much coffee?
A. Your nervous twitching actually registers on the Richter