What do you call a donkey with a banjo?
Why do banjo pickers always die with their boots on?
A. So they won't stub their toes when they kick the bucket.
Is there any difference between the sound of a clarinet
and a cat in heat?
A. Only if the cat is in good health.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they're playing?
A. To get away from the noise!
Pick-Up Line: Hey girl,
this bass fiddle isn't the only thing I'm good at fingering.
What is a reed instrument player's favorite movie?
A. Gone with the Woodwinds.
Pick-Up Line: Hey baby,
you are so saxy!
What do you call a guitar that wants to become a violin?
How do you make a cello sound beautiful?
A. Sell it and buy a violin.
How did the female cellist stay first chair for so long?
A. She kept her scherzo short.
Why did Karl Marx detest classical music?
A. Because of the violins inherent to the system.
Pick-Up Line: Hey there,
my bowing arm is getting sore 'cause you continue to make
a Concert Master Line: Hey big guy, are you a violinist?
'Cause I really want to rosin your bow.
a Musician Line: Hello baby, are you a violinist? 'Cause
you are really playing my heart strings.
Why do you bury dead saxophone players six feet under?
A. Because deep down, they're all nice people.
What do you call a British gent who plays the saxophone?
A. An Anglo-Saxon.
What is "perfect pitch?"
A. When you lob a clarinet into a toilet without hitting
Bad Hookup Line: Hey
babe, I bet that clarinet isn't the only thing you know
how to blow.
Player Hookup Line: Hey
babe, if you were sheet music, I'd reed you all
Player Pick-Up Line: Babe,
the reed isn't the only thing I can get wet.
Hookup Line: Hey babe,
I'll let you play my clarinet, if you're careful not to
chip the wood.