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Musician
Jokes, Singer Humor, Keyed Up Puns
Tune
in for trebled puns, alto-mately unharmonious humor, low-key
laughs and bass music jokes.
Music Puns, Funny Song Jokes, Lyric Laughs
(Because
Rhythm and Rhyme are NOT Mainstream Enough. Neither Are
Rhyme and Reason, nor Perfect Pitch!) |
Warning:
Listen with Caution! Music one-liners, major melody jokes, minor
humor and flatly funny puns ahead.
| Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2
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| 6 | 7 | 8
| 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 |
Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef
Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical
Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer
Jokes | Gnome Music Puns | Guitar
Jokes | Hip Hop Humor |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking
Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group
Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi
Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist,
Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns
|
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed
Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music
Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |
Q.
Why is jazz the music genre most often used to set the
mood?
A. 'Cause it's so horny.
Q.
What classic rock band is a favorite of cows?
A. Moo-dy Blues.
Q.
What do cows like to do in their spare time?
A. Listen to moo-sic.
Q.
What did the cow say when she heard somebody playing the
guitar?
A. That's udderly good moo-sic!
Q.
What is a beef eater's favorite song lyric?
A. My grill, talking 'bout my grill, my grill.
|
Q.
Why is jazz the music genre most often used to set the
mood?
A. 'Cause it's so sax-y.
Q.
What charges were brought against the jazz musician who
groped a lady?
A. Sax-ual harassment.
Q.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
A. The exhaust!
Small
wonder we have so much trouble with air pollution in the
world, if you consider how much air (and whatever) has passed
through saxophone players.
Pick
Up a Saxophone Player Line: Hey baby, do you believe
in premarital sax?
|
Figrin
D'an and the Modal Nodesis know that playing well in the
Star Wars Universe is a lot like throwing a javelin blindfolded.
You don't have to be very good to get a lot of people's
attention!
Q.
How do you put a sparkle in a spacy flutist's eye?
A. Shine a laser in her ear.
Q.
Why did the guy keep his meds in a jazz club in Harlem?
A. 'Cause the instructions said to store in a cool, dark
place.
Q.
Which type of underwear do Frisbee players wear?
A. Disc Jockeys. |
Q.
Which rapper has the smallest member?
A. 'Lil Dicky.
Q.
What is Clark Kent's favorite song?
A. Superman's Song by Crash Test Dummies.
Q.
What is Mad Max's favorite song?
A. We Don't Need Another Hero
by Tina Turner.
Q.
What is Flash Gordon's favorite tune?
A. Flash by Queen. |
Q.
How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light
bulb?
A. None. They just steal somebody else's light.
Q.
How does a Blonde soparano sing the scales?
A. Do Re Mi, Me, Me, Me, Me, Doh!
Q.
Why was the amputee such a bad singer?
A. 'Cause he couldn't hold a note or carry
a tune.
|
Vibrato:
Used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong
pitch. Tars take acception with that!
Q.
What is the difference between a soprano and a pirhana?
A. The lipstick.
Pirate
Frontman's Motto: It's better to be sharp than
out of tune, and tuna.
Q.
Where do pirates keep singing seahorses?
A. In a coral choral corral. |
Q.
What do career musicians call a lifelong fan with trifocals
and a hearing aid?
A. Dad.
Q.
Why did the Rolling Stones agree to let Windows 95 use their
song, Start Me Up, in advertisements?
A. 'Cause the lyrics say, "You make a grown man
cry."
Q.
Why did the classical orchestra disband?
A. They went Baroque. |
Q.
What is a beef lover's favorite song lyric?
A. Is it meat you're looking for?
Q.
What happened to the jazz musician after his wife left him?
A. He had to toot his own horn.
Q.
Why can't cows perform in a ballet?
A. Because they lactose!
Q.
Which song does a farmer sing if he really needs a building
for his animals?
A. If I Only Had A Barn. |
Q.
What's the difference between an electric guitar player
and a vacuum cleaner?
A. When you unplug the vacuum cleaner, it doesn't suck any
more.
Q.
What do you get if you cross a chicken and a guitar?
A. A bird that sings when you pluck it.
Q.
What did the guy say when his girlfriend told him to stop
talking in Oasis lyrics?
A. Maybe. |
Q.
What is another name for the first three digits in an opera
singer's phone number?
A. Aria code.
Q.
How can you tell a Wagnerian soprano is dead?
A. The horses seem very relieved.
Q.
How is sex like an Italian opera?
A. At first, nobody knows what the hell is going on, and
it usually ends with a fat person yelling loudly.
Q.
Which hit song does a president who wants military aid from
a small African republic sing?
A. Help Me Rwanda. |
Q.
How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn?
A. Stick your hand into the bell and mess up all the notes.
Q.
What do you call a brass section with only a sole tuba?
A. A one-ba.
Q.
Why do copper musical instruments sound more powerful than
brass in a symphony?
A. Because copper is a better conductor.
Q.
Which catchy tune provides a list of preferred metallic
ringing sounds?
A. My Favorite Tings.
|
Q.
Why do you bury dead saxophone players six feet under?
A. Because deep down, they're all nice people.
Melodic
Thought of the Day: After silence, music comes closest to
expressing the inexpressible.
Lyric
Laugh of the Day: I thought my wife was kidding when she
said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing I'm a Believer
by the Monkees. But then, I saw her face.
Q.
Which song does a cattleman sing when he turns the rich
soil in his pasture?
A. Loam On The Range. |
|
Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2
| 3 | 4 | 5
| 6 | 7 | 8
| 9 | 10 |
11 | 12 |
Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef
Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical
Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer
Jokes | Gnome Music Humor | Guitar
Jokes | Bad Rap Puns |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking
Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group
Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi
Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist,
Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns
|
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed
Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music
Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |
| Song Title Jokes and Song Lyric Parody
Puns | Disco Jokes and Dancer Puns
| Mime LOLs |
| Actor Jokes | Staged
Humor | Film Jokes | Magician
Puns | Clown Jokes | Comedian
Jokes |
You've
lasted this song,
so stay tuned for even more
harmonious humor,
melodic jokes and off-key
painful puns that'll make you sing
in laughter:
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More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
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Actor Jokes | Artist
Jokes | Barber Jokes | Beer
Jokes | Blonde Jokes | Colorado
Jokes | Hipster Humor |
| Money Jokes | Monster
Laughs | Parrot Jokes | Pirate
Jokes | Pizza Jokes | Police
Puns | Sasquatch Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal
Humor | Sports Jokes | Travel
Jokes | Weed Jokes | Zodiac
Puns | Zombie Jokes |
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