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Q. Why did the girl who worked at the phone company sing all of the time? A. Because she was an operetta!
I just wrote a song about tortillas. Actually, it's more of a wrap.
Q. What do you get if you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A. A Flat Miner!
Why do gnomes get a bad rap? Gnome Rhyme, Nor Reason.
Happy Tubas Day!

 


Musician Jokes, Singer Humor, Keyed Up Puns
Tune in for trebled puns, alto-mately unharmonious humor, low-key laughs and bass music jokes.

Music Puns, Funny Song Jokes, Lyric Laughs
(Because Rhythm and Rhyme are NOT Mainstream Enough. Neither Are Rhyme and Reason, nor Perfect Pitch!)
Warning: Listen with Caution! Music one-liners, major melody jokes, minor humor and flatly funny puns ahead.
| Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer Jokes | Gnome Music Puns | Guitar Jokes | Hip Hop Humor |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist, Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

Q. What is a cow's favorite musical note? A. Beef Flat!Q. What is the difference between a sax and a chainsaw? A. You can tune a chainsaw!Q. What do you call a Sith rock star? A. Darth Vedder!

Q. Why is jazz the music genre most often used to set the mood?
A. 'Cause it's so horny.

Q. What classic rock band is a favorite of cows?
A. Moo-dy Blues.

Q. What do cows like to do in their spare time?
A. Listen to moo-sic.

Q. What did the cow say when she heard somebody playing the guitar?
A. That's udderly good moo-sic!

Q. What is a beef eater's favorite song lyric?
A. My grill, talking 'bout my grill, my grill.

Q. Why is jazz the music genre most often used to set the mood?
A. 'Cause it's so sax-y.

Q. What charges were brought against the jazz musician who groped a lady?
A. Sax-ual harassment.

Q. What is the difference between a saxophone and a chainsaw?
A. The exhaust!

Small wonder we have so much trouble with air pollution in the world, if you consider how much air (and whatever) has passed through saxophone players.

Pick Up a Saxophone Player Line: Hey baby, do you believe in premarital sax?

Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodesis know that playing well in the Star Wars Universe is a lot like throwing a javelin blindfolded. You don't have to be very good to get a lot of people's attention!

Q. How do you put a sparkle in a spacy flutist's eye?
A. Shine a laser in her ear.

Q. Why did the guy keep his meds in a jazz club in Harlem?
A. 'Cause the instructions said to store in a cool, dark place.

Q. Which type of underwear do Frisbee players wear?
A. Disc Jockeys.

Q. Who is Thor's favorite rapper? A. MC Hammer!Do Re Me Fa, It's Sol Day!Q. Why are pirates such great singers? A. they can hit the high Cs!

Q. Which rapper has the smallest member?
A. 'Lil Dicky.

Q. What is Clark Kent's favorite song?
A. Superman's Song by Crash Test Dummies.

Q. What is Mad Max's favorite song?
A. We Don't Need Another Hero
by Tina Turner.

Q. What is Flash Gordon's favorite tune?
A. Flash by Queen.

Q. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They just steal somebody else's light.

Q. How does a Blonde soparano sing the scales?
A. Do Re Mi, Me, Me, Me, Me, Doh!

Q. Why was the amputee such a bad singer?
A. 'Cause he couldn't hold a note or carry a tune.

Vibrato: Used by singers to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch. Tars take acception with that!

Q. What is the difference between a soprano and a pirhana?
A. The lipstick.

Pirate Frontman's Motto: It's better to be sharp than out of tune, and tuna.

Q. Where do pirates keep singing seahorses?
A. In a coral choral corral.

Q. What music do optometrists listen to the most? A. iTunes!Q. What's the difference between a bull and a band? A. The bull has the orns in the front and the ass in the back!Q. How do you get a guitarist to play softer? A. Put sheet music in front of hin!

Q. What do career musicians call a lifelong fan with trifocals and a hearing aid?
A. Dad.

Q. Why did the Rolling Stones agree to let Windows 95 use their song, Start Me Up, in advertisements?
A. 'Cause the lyrics say, "You make a grown man cry."

Q. Why did the classical orchestra disband?
A. They went Baroque.

Q. What is a beef lover's favorite song lyric?
A. Is it meat you're looking for?

Q. What happened to the jazz musician after his wife left him?
A. He had to toot his own horn.

Q. Why can't cows perform in a ballet?
A. Because they lactose!

Q. Which song does a farmer sing if he really needs a building for his animals?
A. If I Only Had A Barn.

Q. What's the difference between an electric guitar player and a vacuum cleaner?
A. When you unplug the vacuum cleaner, it doesn't suck any more.

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken and a guitar?
A. A bird that sings when you pluck it.

Q. What did the guy say when his girlfriend told him to stop talking in Oasis lyrics?
A. Maybe.

Q. What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a baby elephant? Q. Thirteen pounds!Q. Why is the French horn the most divine instrument? A. Ma blows into it, but God only knows what comes out!Q. What do you suffer from if you've heard the same song a million times? A. A Melody Malady!

Q. What is another name for the first three digits in an opera singer's phone number?
A. Aria code.

Q. How can you tell a Wagnerian soprano is dead?
A. The horses seem very relieved.

Q. How is sex like an Italian opera?
A. At first, nobody knows what the hell is going on, and it usually ends with a fat person yelling loudly.

Q. Which hit song does a president who wants military aid from a small African republic sing?
A. Help Me Rwanda.

Q. How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn?
A. Stick your hand into the bell and mess up all the notes.

Q. What do you call a brass section with only a sole tuba?
A. A one-ba.

Q. Why do copper musical instruments sound more powerful than brass in a symphony?
A. Because copper is a better conductor.

Q. Which catchy tune provides a list of preferred metallic ringing sounds?
A. My Favorite Tings.

Q. Why do you bury dead saxophone players six feet under?
A. Because deep down, they're all nice people.

Melodic Thought of the Day: After silence, music comes closest to expressing the inexpressible.

Lyric Laugh of the Day: I thought my wife was kidding when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing I'm a Believer by the Monkees. But then, I saw her face.

Q. Which song does a cattleman sing when he turns the rich soil in his pasture?
A. Loam On The Range.

| Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer Jokes | Gnome Music Humor | Guitar Jokes | Bad Rap Puns |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist, Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

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