Q. What song do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
A. Auld Fang Syne.

Q. What song does a winning NASCAR driver sing during a big race?
A. Blue Bayou.

Q. What is the grand prize in today's time travel lottery?
A. A trip to see the Beatles perform Yesterday.

Q. How did Frank Sinatra die?
A. Stranglers in the Night.

Q. What is a hungry beef lover's favorite tasty song lyric?
A. Is it meat you're looking for?

Q. What is a beef eater's favorite song lyric?
A. My grill, talking 'bout my grill, my grill.

Q. What is a baker's fab fave Beatles' song?
A. Loaf is All You Knead.

Q. What happened after the chef opened the refrigerator door because he heard green onions singing a Bee Gees song?
A. He realized it was just chives talking.

Q. What is an Italian chef's favorite song to sing when he's cooking fish?
A. O Sole Mio.

Q. What is a frozen banana's favorite song title and lyric?
A. Yellow by Cold Play.

Q. What is a chillin' banana's favorite classic rock song?
A. Mellow Yellow!

Q. Which children's song is about a group of mice that fell into a pickle barrel?
A. Three Brined Mice.

Q. Which Beach Boys song was about people active in various American military branches?
A. Servin' U.S.A.

Q. Which song is about a pilot who made a lot of mistakes in flight?
A. I Should Have Flown Better.

Q. What were the Beatles words of wisdom for insects?
A. Let It Bee.

Q. Is it okay to tell funny jokes about the Rolling Stones?
A. Yes. In fact, it's a gas.

Q. What the the fan say about the band Depeche Mode?
A. I just can't get enough.

Q. What is Bigfoot's favorite pop song?
A. Knock Three Times by Tony Orlando.

Q. What is Colorado Bigfoot's favorite Jimi Hendrix song?
A. All Along the Squatch-Tower.

Q. Eh, what is the new pothead anthem of the Great White North?
A. O, Cannabis!

Q. What is a Colorado pothead's favorite tune?
A. Okay Computer, play any Creep song by Radiohead!

Q. What did the heavy metal-loving chef say about cooking the best Thanksgiving turkey?
A. I'm all about the baste.

Q. What things does a werewolf want to do in Denver when you're dead?
A. Stay at the Howliday Inn Tech Center.

Q. Which Excitable Boy sang about Werewolves in London?
A. Warren Zevon.

Undead Groan of the Day: The song, Zombie, by the Cranberries is in my head!

Q. Which cult rock song is an ode to Vincent Price and Dracula's obsessions?
A. Night of the Vampire by Roky Erickson.

Pick-Up a Musician Line: Is your name AC/DC? 'Cause I wanna Rock You All Night Long.

Q. If Darth Vader was a Disney character, what song would he sing?
A. When You Wish Upon a Death Star.

Q. What is The Hulk's least favorite song?
A. Nobody Loves The Hulk by The Traits.

Q. How does Mr. Spock's favorite class rock song go?
A. Some people call me a space cowboy, some gangsters call me the Vulcan of Love...

Q. Who sang the touching sci-fi song Assimilate Me Tender?
A. Elvis of Borg.

Q. Why did his girlfriend break up with the guy with an Electric Light Orchestra obsession?
A. She was an Evil Woman!

Q. What is a Colorado skier's favorite song lyric?
A. There's snow place like home.

Q. What is a blue eyeball's favorite weather song about the Colorado skies?
A. You Are Eye Sunshine!

Patient: I just can't stop singing, What's New Pussycat.
Shrink: You might have TJS, Tom Jones Syndrome.
Patient: Is that rare?
Shrink: It's not unusual.

Q. Why did the Rolling Stones agree to let Windows 95 use their song, Start Me Up, in advertisements?
A. 'Cause the lyrics say, "You make a grown man cry."

Q. What do beer-loving Denver Broncos fans sing at the game?
A. Who let the dog stout?

Q. Which Colorado craft beer do van-driving retro guys in Morrison drink?
A. Brown Eyed Ale.

Q. Do the Walking Dead play NFL football?
A. They do! They play offense 'cause that's something to do in Denver when your're dead.

Q. What does any eyeball sing while gazing at Pike's Peak?
A. Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough!

Q. What are the Rolling Stones better at than the Bee Gees?
A. Stayin' Alive!

Q. Which song does the Denver gym across the street from the pot shop always play?
A. James Joint by Rhianna.

Q. What did the beekeeper with hives on the roof of the Brown Palace Hotel in downtown Denver sing when his bees started making canna-honey?
A. Do Bee Do Bee Do!

Q. What did Mason Williams call a stop at the filling station before heading to the recording studio?
A. Classical Gas.

Q. Which classical melody do Siamese cats like to listen to?
A. Fur Elise.

Important Gnome Fact of the Day: Gnome, Gnome on the Range is not a cooking song!

Q. What is a grumpy garden troll's favorite song?
A. It's Not Much Fun Being a Gnome by Postcards of Life.

Q. What is a happy garden troll's favorite song?
A. The Laughing Gnome by David Bowie.

Q. What is a stoner garden troll's favorite song?
A. The Gnome by Pink Floyd.

Q. What is a young garden troll's favorite song?
A. Teeny Tiny Gnome by The Monkees.

Q. Which creepy gothic tune do powerful old people moan about?
A. We Suck Young Blood by Radiohead.

Q. Which tune exposes that vampires and monsters are not as frightening as falling in love?
A. Dracula's Wedding by Outkast.

Q. Which fanboy tune was a tribute to Dracula?
A. Nosferatu by Blue Oyster Cult.

Q. What happened at the Lord of The Rings disco?
A. It was Mordor on the dance floor.

Q. Which song is played in covens?
A. Season of the Witch by Donovan.

Q. What do residents of Breckenridge, Colorado sing in December?
A. 'Tis the season to ski jolly.

Q. What is Bubba Fett's favorite Christmas tune?
A. Jango Bells.

Q. What's in the potent Christmas cocktail called Little Drummer Boy?
A. One part rum, three parts rum pum.

Q. What does Tarzan sing at Christmas time?
A. Jungle Bells.

Lyric Laugh of the Day: I thought my wife was kidding when she said she'd leave me if I didn't stop singing I'm a Believer by the Monkees. But then, I saw her face.

Q. What did the guy say after his girlfriend broke up with him for constantly singing Linkin Park songs?
A. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

Q. What did the rocker sing after his wife wailed, "What would you do if I sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me?"
A. Evidently not.

Q. What do you call a Christmas Carol parody that just isn't funny?
A. The First No-LOL!

Q. What is Batman's least favorite carol?
A. Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away.

Q. What do Batman and Robin talk about in the Batmobile in December?
A. How much they hate the song Jinglebells because Robin did NOT lay an egg and Batman doesn't smell!

Q. Why does St. Nick like the Temptations' version of Silent Night best?
A. Because Santa Was a Rolling Stone.

Q. What song do monkeys like at Christmas time?
A. Jungle Bells.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: Babe, is your name Jingle Bells? 'Cause you look like you'd go all the way.

Q. What song does Peter Parker listen to during the yule season?
A. Spidey-Bells by Chris Pine.

Q. Why is everyone so thirsty at the North Pole?
A. No Well, No Well!

Q. Why do you sing the alphabet differently on Christmas?
A. Because it has no L!

Q. What does a caroling reindeer comedian say to open his act?
A. This fa la la joke is gonna sleigh you!

Q. What did a guy say to console his bud who was sad because he couldn't remember the lyrics to YMCA?
A. Young man, there's no need to feel down.

Q. Why does Batman hate the song Jingle Bells?
A. Because Batman does NOT smell!

Q. What do you call it when Jolly St. Nick suddenly stops singing Jingle Bells?
A. Santa Pause.

Christmas Pick-Up Line: How 'bout we make this not such a Silent Night?

Q. What song does Peter Parker listen to during the yule season?
A. Spidey-Bells by Chris Pine.

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