Q. Why did the singer climb up a ladder? A. She wanted to reach teh high notes!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Which musician writes songs about a country in the Himalayas? A. Nepal Simon!
Which music genre appeals to cheese? R 'N Brie
Q. How do you make a band stand? A. Take away their chairs!
Music Pick-Up Line: Are you a baritone? 'Cause I'd like to get to 1st bass with you
Q. How many vocalists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. None. They hold the bulb over their head and the world revolves around them!

 


Tempo-Right Puns, Music Humor, Off-Key Jokes
Sing out loud to forte music jokes, noteworthy puns, major laughs and minor musician humor.

Music Jokes, Fine-Tuned Humor, Musician Puns
(Because Cheesy Singers and American Idol Are Far TOO Mainstream and Not At All Funny – In A Good Way!)
Warning: Volume Up at Your Own Risk! Note, soft piano puns and silent music jokes can be deafeningly funny!
| Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer Jokes | Gnome Music Puns | Guitar Jokes | Hip Hop Humor |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist, Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

Q. Why did Bach have so many children? A. Because he didn't have a stop on his organ!Did you hear about the classic vinyl albums? They're selling for record prices!Q. What did the guitarist do when he needed to turn his amp on? A. He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it!

Did you hear about the vampire pianist who tortured people with his playing? His Bach was worse than his bite!

Q. Which utensil do pianists need at dinner time?
A. A Tuning Fork.

Q. Why do pianos get so many headaches?
A. Because their strings are under so much tension.

Q. Why are pianos so hard to open?
A. Because the keys are inside!

Q. What was stolen from the music store?
A. The Lute!

Vocalist Thought of the Day: If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend, just duet!

Q. Why was the amputee such a bad singer?
A. 'Cause he couldn't hold a note or carry a tune.

Patient: I can't stop singing, I Want It That Way.
Shrink: Tell Me Why.

Q. What do you call a guitar that never finishes a job?
A. A Quitar.

Q. What do you call two guitar players playing in unison?
A. Counterpoint.

Q. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. 0. They just steal somebody else's light.

Q. Why did the computer sing Hello everytime somebody walked by?
A. 'Cause it's A Dell.

Q. Why was the musician arrested? A. He was in treble!Q. What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base? A. A Flat Major!Q. What kind of music do sheep like? A. Baach!

Two musicians were walking down the street. One turns to the other and asks, "Who was that piccolo I saw you with last night?" The other replies, "That was no piccolo, that was my fife!"

Q. Why did the guy get kicked off the karaoke stage after he sang Danger Zone five times in a row?
A. 'Cause he exceeded his maximum number of Loggins attempts.

Male Vocalist Point to Ponder: Why do women love singing Let It Go, considering it seems most of them hold grudges for life?

Vocalist Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are you a scale? 'Cause I'd go up and down on you all night long, and you set the tempo.

Q. What do you get if you drop a piano on a beehive?
A. Bee Flat!

Q. Why did the terminally ill pianist hope to die by being hit by a falling piano?
A. That way, he'll go out on a dramatic note.

Q. What's even worse than a sick gopher on your piano?
A. A diseased beaver on your organ!

Did you hear about the blonde who learned to play piano by ear? She finally figured out it was easier to use her hands...

Q. Which kind of used piano might you buy for a thousand dollars?
A. A grand piano.

Q. Which bands do sheep like dancing to?
A. Ewe 2 and Ewe B 40.

Q. What is a sheep's favorite pop group?
A. The Pet Sheep Boys.

Q. Which new boy band only plays classical music for ewe?
A. The Baach Street Boys.

Q. Which classical melody do Siamese cats like to listen to?
A. Fur Elise.

Q. What do you get if you cross a donkey and a piano?
A. A Yam-Hee-Haw.

Q. Which '70s rock band is a cow's favovite?
A. Moo-dy Blues.

Q. Who is Aquaman's favorite singer? A. Billy Ocean!Did you hear about the guy who fell asleep with his headphones on? He slept soundly!Fish Asks: Which pet makes the loudest noise? A. A Trumpet!

Q. What is Aquaman's favorite song?
A. Aqualung by Jethro Tull.

Q. What is Wonder Woman's favorite song?
A. Waitin' For a Superman by The Flaming Lips.

Q. Which superhero won the singing competition?
A. Captain American Idol!

Q. Which song does Lois Lane listen to on Saturday morning?
A. Superman Tonight by Bon Jovi.

Q. What kind of music are balloons afraid of?
A. Pop Music!

Q. What do you get if you cross a sweet potato and a jazz musician?
A. A Yam Session!

Did you hear about the topless bar that tried to have a Polka night? All the accordianists kept getting hurt!

After silence, music comes closest to expressing the inexpressible.

Q. What do you get if you cross a serpent and a trumpet?
A. A snake in the brass!

Q. What can you do with a rubber trumpet?
A. Join an elastic band!

Q. What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
A. Something catchy!

Q. What do you call a fish that won't quit singing?
A. A big-mouthed bass.

Q. What is a vampire's least favorite song? A. Another One Bites The Dust!Q. Why did Mozart kill his chickens? A. They kept running around going: "Bach Bach Back!"What do you call an alien stereo system in a futuristic film? A Sci-Fi Hi-Fi!

Q. What song does a slayer sing after killing the last clone of Dracula?
A. It's the Final Countdown.

Q. Which high-octane song do vampires sing while they're waiting for gas?
A. Vampire Blues by Neil Young.

Q. What did the zombie rapper have in common with the politician?
A. Both spit out incomprehensible bullshit!

Q. Which album cover is the fave of werewolves now and in 1983?
A. Bark at the Moon by Ozzy Osbourne.

Q. What do you call a group of chickens all clucking in unison?
A. A Musical Hen-semble.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get away from the bassoon recital.

Q. What do they call traditional singing chickens in the Alps?
A. Yolk-el-ers.

Q. How does a rooster do a rain dance?
A. He chants, "Cock-a-doodle-Dew!"

Q. Why do hummingbirds hum?
A. Because they don't know the words.

Q. Why did the rock star alien retire?
A. The music and drugs got him all spaced out in the 1970s!

Q. How did Albert Einstein tune his violin?
A. With string theory.

Q. What is the missing link between the bass and an ape?
A. The baritone.

Q. Why haven't we heard about the new computer geek band called 999 Megabytes?
A. Because they haven't got a gig yet.

| Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer Jokes | Gnome Music Humor | Guitar Jokes | Bad Rap Puns |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist, Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

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