Q. Why are locksmiths such versatile vocalists? A. Because they can sing in any key!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. Which are the only notes a pirate vocalists can hit? A. The high Cs!
Q. How is playing the viola like peeing in your pants? A. Both give you a nice warm feeing without making a sound!
Q. How are a drummer and a philospher alike? A. Both perceive time as an abstract concept!
Q. Why did Bach have so many children? A. Because he didn't have a stop on his organ!
Did you hear about the pianist who played for just a few people? His performance was low key!

 


Melodic Humor, Jazzy Puns, Musician Jokes
Boogie along with funny music memes, noteworthy humor, jazzy jokes and fine-tuned puns.

Music Jokes, Jammin' Humor, Puns of Note
(Because Spaced Out Musicians and Tonal Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in the Milky Way Galaxy!)
Warning: Tone In Cautiously! Haunting melody humor, super music jokes, key laughs and a-choir-ed puns ahead.
| Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer Jokes | Gnome Music Puns | Guitar Jokes | Hip Hop Humor |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist, Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

Q. How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. they just let it burn out and follow it around for a few decades!What kind of music do planets enjoy singing along to? Neptunes!Q. What's the difference between an oboe and a basson? A. You can hit a baseball further with a bassoon!

Q. How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They just steal somebody else's light.

Q. How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A one, a two, a one two three four.

Q. How many country music singers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to screw in a new bulb, and one to write a song about it.

Q. What is the missing link between the bass and an ape?
A. The baritone.

Q. What do space aliens listen to while they're eating toast?
A. Space Jam.

Q. Which dance do all astronauts know?
A. The Moonwalk!

Q. What did the rapper's car do at the disco?
A. A Brake Dance.

Q. What's the name of the dance club for people with bad backs?
A. Slipped Disco.

Q. Why did scientist decide to clone Chance the Rapper?
A. Because humanity deserves a second Chance.

Did you hear about the successful hunter's secret to attracting so many ducks? He paid an oboe player to go along and play.

Q. What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up an oboe.

Q. What do you call the homeless monkey in the orchestra's woodwind section?
A. Oboe Bonobo Hobo.

Q. What do you call a tuba player who correctly notices the key signature?
A. Astute.

Undead Groan of the Day: The song, Zombie, by the Cranberries is in my head!

Q. What do you do when the church choir sings a bit off key? A. You cut them psalm slack!Q. What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm? A. A Tattoo!Q. What's the difference between a pit bull and an opera singer? A. Lipstick!

Q. Why can't skeleton musicians play at church?
A. They have no organs.

Q. How many choir directors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Nobody knows, 'cause no one ever watches the choir director.

Q. How does a guy with a broken knee cap sing when in solitary pain?
A. A-patella.

Q. What do you call black people who sing really well?
A. A vocal minority.

Q. What do you call a woman of the evening who's standing on the corner and playing a trumpet?
A. A prosti-toot.

Q. What happened to the jazz musician after his wife left him?
A. He had to toot his own horn.

Q. What do four trombones sound like at the bottom of the sea?
A. A Great Idea!

After you've played the trombone for a long time, people will pay you to play and your neighbors will pay you to stop!

Q. Have you heard about the new radio station WPMS?
A. They play three weeks of blues and one week of ragtime.

Q. Why is it so hard to have an opera singer for a friend?
A. Because with them, everything is mi mi mi mi.

Q. Is there any difference between the sound of a clarinet and a cat in heat?
A. Only if the cat is in good health.

Q. Who is large, gray, and sings great jazz songs?
A. Elephants Gerald.

Q. What is Magneto's favorite band? A. Metallica!Q. What do you call somebody who hangs around with musicians? A. A Vocalist!Q. What is the Human Torch's favorite band? A. Arcade Fire!

Q. What is Titanium Man's favorite song?
A. Magento and Titanium Man by Paul McCartney & Wings.

Q. Which song is Magneto drawn toward?
A. Iron Man by Black Sabbath.

Q. Why was the kid who wanted to play heavy metal mad at his father?
A. 'Cause his dad bought him a tuba.

Q. What is planet Earth's fave music genre?
A. Metalcore.

Q. What was the stiff symphony conductor diagnosed with?
A. Bad Bach Pain.

Q. What does the ballerina hooker wear to her performance?
A. A prosti-tutu.

Q. Why can't cows perform in a ballet?
A. Because they lactose!

Q. What was the blonde ballerina's GPA?
A. 2.2.

Q. Which song is the fave of everyday heroes?
A. My Hero by The Foo Fighters.

Q. What is Clark Kent's favorite song?
A. Superman's Song by Crash Test Dummies.

Q. What is Superman's least favorite song?
A. Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down.

Q. Which song does Jimmy Olsen hum while he's tracking down a super story?
A. I'm No Superman by Lazlo Bane.

Q. How are trumpet players and pirates alike? A. They're both murder on the high Cs!Q. Which Star Wars DJ throws down the sickest beats? A. Fettboy Slim!Q. How are harps like elderly people? A. Both are unforgiving and hard to get into and out of your car!

Q. Why can't a gorilla play the trumpet?
A. He's too sensitive.

Pirate Musician Pick-Up Line: Ahoy matey, you are even more perfect than the key of Sea.

Q. What is it called when the trumpet player calls in sick because he's got too much iron in his blood?
A. Ferrous Buglers Day Off.

Q. What do you call a cow that plays the trumpet?
A. A Moos-ician.

Q. Why can't you take a tuba player on a bar crawl?
A. 'Cause they're always two bars behind.

Q. What do you call an iguana that throws down a quick beat?
A. A rap-tile.

Hip Hop Point to Ponder: If two vegan rappers dis each other, can you still call that a beef?

Q. What sort of music do frogs and toadies croak about?
A. Hip hop.

Q. Which scary retro monster really loves disco music?
A. The Boogieman!

Clarinet Player Hookup Line: Hey babe, if you were sheet music, I'd reed you all night long.

Q. How long does a harp stay in tune?
A. About 20 minutes or until somebody opens the door.

Musical Point to Ponder: Is a harp actually just a nude piano?

Musician Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, this cello isn't the only big wood between my legs.

Q. What is a battle between classical music composers called?
A. A de-Bach-le.

Q. How does the Grim Reaper threaten a classical music buff?
A. He tells him to watch his Bach.

| Music Jokes, Musician Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | Musician Come-Ons |
| Brassy Music Jokes | Chef Tunes and Culinary Beats | Classical Music and Composer Jokes |
| Colorado Music Jokes | Drummer Jokes | Gnome Music Humor | Guitar Jokes | Bad Rap Puns |
| Piano Jokes, Keyboard Puns | Rocking Rock 'N Roll Jokes | Rock Group Puns and Band Jokes |
| Scary Music Jokes | Sci-Fi Music Jokes | Singer, Vocalist, Song Jokes | Sax and Violins Puns |
| Musical Superhero Jokes | Weed Music Jokes | Wild Animal Music Beasts | Xmas Carol LOLs |

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