In Colorado, what is the difference between low-key
and kilo to a garage band musician?
A. Dude, seriously?
What did the cheesy pop vocalist name his new Colorado pot
A. One Hit Wonder.
Which is a stoner's favorite Colorado Symphony Orchestra
A. Beethoven's 420 Symphony.
What do you call a Colorado high country bar singer who
A. A snow fake.
Why do Colorado Rockies players like choir practice?
A. 'Cause they always get the pitches.
Why do Denver area locksmiths enjoy Painful Puns music jokes
A. Because the jokes are so f-key-ing funny!
Why do stoner rock stars spend so much money while on a
skiing holiday at Aspen?
A. Because they're high rollers!
How do you describe the native Coloradan who always climbed
down and up the stairs at Red Rocks Amphitheatre on her
A. Getting up there in years.
Why didn't the Colorado fly fisherman make it big as a rap
A. His lines were okay, but his hooks were de-bait-able.
Point to Ponder: With the rise of self-driving vehicles,
isn't it just a matter of time before we hear a country
song where the guy's truck leaves him, too?
Denver Fact: Gnome, Gnome on the Range is not a
classic Colorado cowboy cooking song.
Why didn't the rapper ever dine at the Denver steakhouse?
A. He gots no beef with them.
Which classic rock band is the favorite of Colorado cows?
A. Moo-dy Blues.
Why do chickens like these Colorado music jokes?
A. Because they're so clucking funny!
What do Coloradans call a bunch of rock musicians in a hot
tub in Vail?
A. Vegetable Soup.
How many Colorado guitar players does it take to change
a light bulb?
A. None. Musicians don't screw in light bulbs; they screw
in hot tubs.
What's the difference between a Colorado reefer and rappers
A. You get more than one hit out of a joint.
Why are Colorado lumberjacks such powerful singers?
A. Because their voices have an incredible timber.
What do beer-loving Denver Broncos fans sing at the game?
A. Who let the dog stout?
Do the Walking Dead play NFL football?
A. They do! They play offense 'cause that's something to
do in Denver when your're dead.
What do residents of Breckenridge, Colorado sing in December?
A. 'Tis the season to ski jolly.
What's the name of the new film about a Denver dog that
plays the piano at a lounge on E. Colfax?
A. Bitch Perfect.
What do folks in Trinidad, Colorado call a guitar that wants
to become a violin?
What charges were brought against the jazz musician who
groped a lady in Larimer Square?
A. Sax-ual harassment.
What do Denverites call an iguana that throws down a quick
A. A rap-tile.
What do Coloradans call a bald American icon that swoops
down and throws down a quick beat?
A. A rap-tor.
Why are Rocky Mountain music puns so funny?
A. Because they really peak your interest!