Q. Why is beer better than a woman?
A. Because beer thinks your karaoke singing at Dubb's Pub in Littleton was awesome!

Q. Which Littleton, Colorado band still plays in haunted houses?
A. Big Head Todd and the Monsters.

Q. Why do Denver musicians like playing a Mile High?
A. Because of the view up here!

Q. In Colorado, is it okay to tell funny jokes about the Rolling Stones?
A. Yes. In fact, it's a gas.

Q. What kind of music do locals enjoy listening to in Granite, Colorado?
A. Hard Rock!

Colorado Point to Ponder: Does the song Rocky Mountain High make John Denver the Nostradamus of this generation?

Rockin' Colorado Mile High Hit: Dude, this song smells like Redrocks Amphitheatre!

Colorado Local Gossip: Did you hear about the Denver street musician who died while smoking weed rolled in a dollar bill? At least he went out on a high note…

Q. What is a Colorado Sublime fan's favorite song?
A. Smoke Two Joints.

Q. What happened to the Denver rapper who used cannabis-infused citric chewing tobacco?
A. He spit out some dope lines.

Q. What music do Colorado natives listen to during a rockslide delay on I70 between Georgetown and Bakerville?
A. Rolling Stones!

Q. What kind of music should you play while visiting Gypsum, Colorado?
A. Light Rock.

Q. Why didn't the pirate tourist enjoy the concert at Red Rocks Amphitheatre?
A. Because he was in the last row.

Colorado Mountain Pick-Up Line: High Baby, are you into Alt Rock?

Q. What do Denverites call a group of alligators that get together to sing parody songs down in the sewer?
A. Pun-croc-ers!

Q. What does any eyeball sing while gazing at Pike's Peak?
A. Ain't No Mountain Eye Enough!

Q. Why did the drummer really rock out after consuming Colorado cannabis edibles?
A. He had lots of Infusiasm.

Q. What is a Colorado pothead's favorite song?
A. Any song by Radiohead.

Q. Why did the guy get kicked off the karaoke stage at Dubb's Pub after he sang Danger Zone five times in a row?
A. 'Cause he exceeded his maximum number of Loggins attempts.

Q. Which band's songs are on the playlist on singles night at LoDo Denver brew pubs?
A. Tears for Beers.

Q. Which instrument does a dog musician play in the Colorado Symphony?
A. The trombone.

Q. Which music genre do Denver Bigfoots listen to?
A. Rap.

Did you hear about the Denver group that performs cover songs by Stone Temple Pilots, Rolling Stones and Stone Sour? They are a true rock band.

Q. Who sang the song lyrics, Comin' Round the Mountain Again, at Fiddlers Green?
A. Shell B. Bach.

Q. Which remake marijuana song fired up the post disco generation of Colorado stoners?
A. Don't Bogart That Joint by Little Feat.

Q. If a band is playing at Redrocks during a thunderstorm, who is most likely to get hit by lightning?
A. The conductor.

Q. Why did the rocker store his guitar up on St. Mary's Glacier in Colorado?
A. He wanted to play really cool music.

Q. What do you call a donkey with a banjo at the Telluride, Colorado music festival?
A. Bluegr-ass.

Q. Which potent pot song were Colorado stoners more than reddy for in 1975?
A. Panama Red by New Riders of the Purple Sage.

Wannabe Roadie Pick-Up Line at Red Rocks Amphitheater: Hey, I can help out with a buzz amplifier.

Q. What is a Colorado skier's favorite song lyric?
A. There's snow place like home.

Q. What is Colorado Bigfoot's favorite Jimi Hendrix song?
A. All Along the Squatch-Tower.

Q. Why did the Denver 16th Street Mall cop arrest the off-key street musician with no rhythm?
A. Because he was a beat cop.

Q. Which classic rock song's lyrics are baked, blazed, and Bouldered?
A. Rocky Mountain High, Colorado!

Q. Why don't Denverites teach their dogs how to play the trumpet?
A. Because they'll go from barking to tooting, and who needs that stink?

Q. Which Colorado craft beer do van-driving retro guys in Morrison drink?
A. Brown Eyed Ale.

Q. What is a blue eyeball's favorite weather song about the Colorado skies?
A. You Are Eye Sunshine!

Q. What things does a werewolf want to do in Denver when you're dead?
A. Stay at the Howliday Inn Tech Center.

Q. What is a Colorado pothead's favorite tune?
A. Okay Computer, play any Creep song by Radiohead!

Q. What is one of the hazards of being a musician in a LoDo Denver piano bar?
A. People keep dropping money in your drink.

Q. Why are these Colorado music jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A. How can it be a joke, if nobody is laughing?

Q. What should you never say if you get pulled over by the Denver Police on 13th Avenue?
A. Are you the guy from the Village People?

Q. What happened when a jazz band's bus broke down in Denver on I25 during rush hour?
A. There was a massive jam up.

Q. What did the beekeeper with hives on the roof of the Brown Palace Hotel in downtown Denver sing when his bees started making canna-honey?
A. Do Bee Do Bee Do!

Q. In Colorado, what is the difference between low-key and kilo to a garage band musician?
A. Dude, seriously?

Q. What did the cheesy pop vocalist name his new Colorado pot shop?
A. One Hit Wonder.

Q. Which is a stoner's favorite Colorado Symphony Orchestra song?
A. Beethoven's 420 Symphony.

Q. What do you call a Colorado high country bar singer who lip-syncs?
A. A snow fake.

Q. Why do Colorado Rockies players like choir practice?
A. 'Cause they always get the pitches.

Q. Why do Denver area locksmiths enjoy Painful Puns music jokes so much?
A. Because the jokes are so f-key-ing funny!

Q. Why do stoner rock stars spend so much money while on a skiing holiday at Aspen?
A. Because they're high rollers!

Q. How do you describe the native Coloradan who always climbed down and up the stairs at Red Rocks Amphitheatre on her birthday?
A. Getting up there in years.

Q. Why didn't the Colorado fly fisherman make it big as a rap artist?
A. His lines were okay, but his hooks were de-bait-able.

I25 Point to Ponder: With the rise of self-driving vehicles, isn't it just a matter of time before we hear a country song where the guy's truck leaves him, too?

Trebling Denver Fact: Gnome, Gnome on the Range is not a classic Colorado cowboy cooking song.

Q. What happened when they need to quickly end the concert at Redrocks Amphitheatre because a thunderstorm approached?
A. The audience left with reckless a-band-done.

Q. Why didn't the rapper ever dine at the Denver steakhouse?
A. He gots no beef with them.

Q. Which classic rock band is the favorite of Colorado cows?
A. Moo-dy Blues.

Q. Why do chickens like these Colorado music jokes?
A. Because they're so clucking funny!

Q. What do Coloradans call a bunch of rock musicians in a hot tub in Vail?
A. Vegetable Soup.

Q. How many Colorado guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. Musicians don't screw in light bulbs; they screw in hot tubs.

Q. What's the difference between a Colorado reefer and rappers these days?
A. You get more than one hit out of a joint.

Q. Why are Rocky Mountain music puns so funny?
A. Because they really peak your interest!

Q. What do beer-loving Denver Broncos fans sing at the game?
A. Who let the dog stout?

Q. Do the Walking Dead play NFL football?
A. They do! They play offense 'cause that's something to do in Denver when your're dead.

Q. What do residents of Breckenridge, Colorado sing in December?
A. 'Tis the season to ski jolly.

Q. What's the name of the new film about a Denver dog that plays the piano at a lounge on E. Colfax?
A. Bitch Perfect.

Q. What do folks in Trinidad, Colorado call a guitar that wants to become a violin?
A. Trans-Fender.

Q. What charges were brought against the jazz musician who groped a lady in Larimer Square?
A. Sax-ual harassment.

Q. What do Denverites call an iguana that throws down a quick beat?
A. A rap-tile.

Q. What do Coloradans call a bald American icon that swoops down and throws down a quick beat?
A. A rap-tor.

Q. Why are Colorado lumberjacks such powerful singers?
A. Because their voices have an incredible timber.

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