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Q. What do you call a pickle run over on a highway? A Road Dill!
Q. What do you call a big traffic jam? A. Muddle of the road
Hey Gnirl, you're like a car accident. I just can't look away
Wow, is it Wends-Day already?
Groaner Pun: A bear was hit by an 18-wheeler. It was a grizzly accident.
Q. If two potheads are in the back of a car, then who is driving? A. The Cop!
Happy Turns Day!
Q. How does a nowman get around? A. He rides an icicle!

 


Colorado Commuting Jokes and Mile Highway Puns
Cruise along with Colorado highway jokes, Denver road jokes, and puns that'll rail-ly drive you.

Colorado Traffic Jokes and Denver Commuter Puns
(Because Honking Funny Road Travel Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream If You're Commuting in Colorado!)
Warning: Hit the High Road with Caution! Mountain driving jokes, commuter humor, and exhausting puns ahead.
| Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Colorado Craft Beer Jokes | Beer IS Better! | Colorado Come-Ons |
| Colorado Cuisine Jokes | Mile High Club Jokes | Denver Dog Puns | Rocky Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns |
| Colorado Jokes | Denver Jokes | 2 | 3 | Colorado Weather Jokes | Colorado Cannabis Jokes |

You might be from Colorado if you've seen Bigfoot in a driverless beer truck on I25!You might be from Colorado if you've gone off-roading in a vehicle that wasn't intended for tht activity!You might be from Colorado if you say "The Interstate" and everybody know which one!

Q. How do the Colorado State Patrol rescue Bigfoot stranded on I70?
A. With a big toe truck!

I70 Point to Ponder: With the rise of self-driving vehicles, isn't it just a matter of time before we hear a country song where the guy's truck leaves him, too?

Q. Why did the Colorado blonde, driving the car with the wild paint job, get pulled over?
A. The Cherry Hills cops said it was a graphic violation.

Two blondes were on a road trip to Denver. The sign said, "Denver Left," so they started crying and went back home to Aurora.

Q. What happens when a plaster delivery truck wrecks on I25 and spills a load during rush hour?
A. You get stucco in traffic.

Q. Why are Colorado's Rocky Mountains the most fun place to go on your road vacation?
A. Because they're hill areas!

Q. Why did the blonde Colorado tourist hate the winding road over Guanella Pass?
A. It was driving her crazy!

Q. Why did the blonde bride get married at the summit of Guanella Pass in Colorado?
A. Duh, she knew the drive up the winding road would make the guests dizzy, too!

Q. Why wasn't the new traffic signal installed on Speer Boulevard and Lincoln yet?
A. They were waiting for Denver city officials to give it the green light.

Q. Why did the traffic signal in Boulder turn green?
A. It wanted to GO eco-friendly.

Q. What is the official flower of I25, I70, I76, C470 and US36 and through Colorado?
A. The concrete cloverleaf columbine.

Patient: I think I'm a bridge on I25!
Mile High Doctor: What's come over you?
Patient: Several cars, a semi, and a driverless beer truck.

Q. What music do Colorado natives listen to during a rockslide delay on I70 between Georgetown and Bakerville?
A. Rolling Stones!

Q. Why does it take so long for the Colorado highway crew to clean all the slime off I70 after a big mudslide?
A. Because its oozier said than done!

Q. Why was the lamb arrested on I70?
A. Because she pulled a ewe turn.

You might be from Colorado if hail freaks you out so bad that you have a hard time getting a cab!You might be from Colorado if you carry your $3000 bike on top of your $500 car!You might be from Colorado if this guy was your last Uber driver!

Two cops in a squad car crash into a tree outside Woodland Park, Colorado. One turns to the other and says, "Wow, this is the fastest we've ever gotten to the scene of the accident."

Q. How can you tell if a used car has been in a Colorado hail storm?
A. Look for the evi-dents.

Q. What did the icy Colorado highway say to the SUV?
A. Wanna go for a spin?

Q. What did the tornado in Limon, Colorado say to the sports car?
A. Hey, let's go for a spin!

Did you hear about the guy in Centennial, Colorado who is afraid of speed bumps? He's slowly getting over it.

Q. How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in Colorado?
A. He's the guy with bugs in his teeth.

Q. What do Cowlorado cattle drive when the car is broken?
A. A COWasaki MOOtorcycle.

Q. What do you call an insanely crazy bike trail in the Colorado mountains?
A. A cycle-path!

Colorado Road Trip Point to Ponder: If you break the speed limit, can you fix it?

Q. Why is just sitting in Metro Denver traffic a bad idea?
A. Because you will get run over!

Q. Which kind of car does a Colorado stoner drive?
A. A Blazer.

Q. Which kind of motor oil does Darth Vader use while tooling around the streets of Denver on vacation?
A. Sithetic.

Q. Which vehicle does Darth Vader drive while vacationing in Colorado?
A. Nissan Rogue.

Q. Why aren't there more funny Colorado road trip jokes?
A. Because high altitude car puns are so exhausting.

Q. What do Estes Park residents call a hooker standing out on top of Trail Ridge road on December 25?
A. A Ho Ho Ho Hoar.

Q. What do locals in Idaho Springs call it when a hatchet falls and damages your car?
A. An Axe-ident.

You might be from Denver if going to Casa Bonita meant you got to drive down W Colfax!You might be from Colorado if you know where Bongmont is and can find it without GPS!You might be from Colorado if you joined the "Mile High Club: in the back seat of an SUV!

You might be a Colorado native if you can drive to South Park without using GPS or any alien assistance. You are definitely a Colorado native if you can get back to Denver via Woodland Park without using a map or GPS!

Q. Which route do crazy horses take through the mountains near South Park, Colorado?
A. They take the Psychopath.

Q. What is the official plant of I25 through Colorado?
A. The concrete cloverleaf.

Q. Which movie Jim Carrey movie was filmed in Denver?
A. Me, Myself, and I25.

Q. Why does Denver, Colorado have such a wide demographic range of ages that consume legal marijuana?
A. I25 and I70.

Q. What do Colorado paleontologists call it when a truck full of dinosaur bones has a wreck on the way to Denver's Natural History Museum?
A. A Jurassic Jam!

Q. Why didn't the cheap Deverite want to pay much for an off-roading vehicle?
A. He wanted to get it dirt Jeep.

Q. What happened to the guy from Leadville who found himself on the road to Hell in Aurora?
A. After he drove over the pothole to Hell, he had to call roadside assistance from Hell. OUCH!

Q. What kind of car does a Colorado cattleman's champion bull drive?
A. A Cattle-ac.

Q. Which pedal do rooster racecar drivers at Bandimere Speedway favor?
A. The egg-celerator.

Q. How do Metro Denver chickens get off the highway?
A. They take the eggs-it.

Q. Why did the Colorado chicken stop crossing Morrison Road?
A. She had absolutely no sense of humor!

Q. What do you call the Colorado chicken that crossed Parker Road trying to escape to Kansas?
A. Suicidal!

Q. What do you call the Colorado chicken that crossed Parker Road trying to escape to Kansas?
A. Feather Brain!

Q. What did the LoDo Denver blonde do when she heard most accidents happen within 10 miles of home?
A. She moved a mile further out.

Q. What should you never say if you get pulled over by the Denver Police on 13th Avenue?
A. Are you the guy from the Village People?

Q. Why did the Aurora cops pull over the Mini Cooper full of clowns on I225? A. For the fun of it, plus they obviously weren't wearing seat belts.

Q. Why didn't the quarter roll down the Colorado mountain road along with the nickel?
A. Because the quarter had more cents!

Q. What do Colorado motorists call it when a mountain road is oddly elastic and springy?
A. Highway rubbery.

Q. Why was the squirrel late for work at the Denver Tech Center?
A. Traffic on I25 was nuts.

An Audi, a Lexus, and a Cadillac roll into a bar in Kremling, Colorado. The bartender looks at them and says, "What? Is this some kind of a joke?"

You might be from Colorado if you don't drink and drive.You might be from Colorado if you joined the "Two-Mile High Club" at the summit of Pike's Peak!Q. Why did the blonde smear peanut butter on the road? A. To go with the traffic jam!

Q. Why don't Coloradans drink Flat Tire beer when they're partying on Saturday night?
A. Why tempt fate or dare the devil?

Q. What happened to the tourist frog vacationing in Colorado at Chimney Gulch in the No Parking Zone?
A. He got toad away!

Q. Why was the blonde tourist just standing in the middle of the busy Denver intersection at Broadway and Colfax?
A. The Walk sign changed to Don't Walk, so she just stopped.

Q. Why did the green light turn yellow in Aspen, Colorado during October?
A. Because it was fall.

Q. Why did the blonde Colorado tourist think her car needed another muffler?
A. Because it was cold outside.

Q. How did the blonde get injured on vacation to Colorado?
A. She was hit by a parked car at Denver International Airport. OUCH!

Q. Which Colorado craft beer do van-driving retro guys in Morrison drink?
A. Brown Eyed Ale.

Q. How does a Broncos tailgater introduce himself to the hot blonde who just drove into the parking lot?
A. Hay There!

Q. Why did the space alien go to the doctor after eating hot roasted chilies along Sante Fe Drive in Denver?
A. 'Cause he was feelin' a little green.

Q. What is a Colorado donkey with built-in GPS called?
A. A Comp-ass.

Q. How does the Denver Police Department grill a chicken?
A. Knock her down on the pavement and repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road.

Q. What do blondes in Grand Junction, Colorado call traveling on backcountry roads with the high beams on at night?
A. A bright idea.

Q. How did passengers from 1936 to 1973 describe a cross-country trip taken on the Denver Zephyr?
A. Relaxing and planeless.

Q. What is the real reason the historic Pike's Peak Cog Railway was shut down?
A. It was too expensive to make up cover stories about all the Bigfoot sightings!

Two stoners were walking along the Pikes Peak Cog Railway. One says, "This is a really long staircase, man!" Second stoner replies, "I don't mind all the stairs, but the handrail is killing me!"

Q. Why did Denver's A Line light rail construction fall behind schedule?
A. Because they needed to get back on track.

Q. How do Denver's RTD light rail trains hear?
A. They use their engine ears!

Q. What do Denverites call A Line Light Rail that just doesn't work?
A. Play Station.

| Travel Jokes and Vacation Puns | Road Trip Jokes | Gassed-Up Car Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes |
| Colorado Commuter Jokes | Colorado Music Jokes | Colorado Fashion Puns | Colorado Bigfoot |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Colorado Tourism | Mountain Jokes | 2 | 3 |
| Colorado Nightlife Jokes | Denver Dog Jokes | Wildlife Jokes | 2 | 3 | Bear Puns | Donkey Jokes |
| Colorado Sports Puns | Skiing Jokes | Go Broncos! | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Hiking Jokes | Fishing Puns |
| Colorado Craft Beer Puns | Colorado Cannabis Jokes | Mile High Humor | Weed Jokes | Munchies |
| Colorado Weather Jokes | Cool Weather Humor | 2 | Cold Winter Jokes | Colorado Come-Ons |
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver Puns | 2 | 3 |

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