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Speeding
Ticket Jokes, Trooper Humor, Fine Puns
Speed
along with citation puns, driving violation humor, radar LOLs and traffic
ticket jokes.
Traffic
Cop Jokes and Highway Patrol Humor
(Because Flashing Lights Jokes
ane Siren Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream When
the Cops Are Behind You!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! State trooper humor, pulled over puns, siren
laughs and speed trap jokes ahead.
| Traffic Cop Jokes | Detective
Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber
Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns
|
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns | Arresting
Jokes | Police Pick-Up Lines
| 2 | Gun
Jokes, Bullet Puns |
| Barely Legal Jokes and Criminal Puns
| 2 | Explosion
Jokes and Bomb Puns | Killer Humor
|
| Lawyer Jokes | Judge
Jokes, Jury Puns, Courtroom Humor | Traffic
Jokes | Superhero Puns |
Q.
Why did the sensitive cop cry after arresting the blonde?
A. It was a moving violation.
Q.
Why did the blonde in the car with the wild paint job get
pulled over?
A. The cops said it was a graphic violation.
Q.
Why did the light-footed cop pull over the U-Haul?
A. He wanted to bust a move.
Q.
What is it called when a cop puts a suspect in the back
seat of his cruiser?
A. In-car-ceration.
Cruiser
Cop Come-On: Can I see
your license? 'Cause I didn't know angels could fly. |
Q.
What did the priest say when he was pulled over for DWI?
A. Good Lord, he's done it again! I only drank water!
Police
Pick Up Line: I'm surprised your ID doesn't say you're from
Tennessee, 'cause you're the only 10 I see.
Q.
Why did the traffic cop give the poet a ticket?
A. For driving without a poetic license.
Q.
Why did a cop pull the vampire over?
A. He was a suspect in a blood bank robbery.
Cop:
Why did you park HERE?
Blonde: Duh, the sign says, "Fine for Parking."
|
Two
cops in a squad car crash into a tree. One turns to the
other and says, "Wow, this is the fastest we've ever
gotten to the accident site."
Q.
What did the cops say when the bank robbers on the lam were
stopped by an automobile?
A. That's carma for ya!
Q.
How can you tell you've had too much coffee?
A. You got a speeding ticket while you were parked!
Q.
What should you never say if you get pulled over by the
Denver Police on 13th Avenue?
A. Are you the guy from the Village People? |
Q.
Why did the cops pull over the Mini Cooper full of clowns?
A. For the fun of it, plus they obviously weren't wearing
seat belts.
Q.
What happened when the semi truck loaded with toilet paper
crashed on the Interstate?
A. Cops say drivers will be bogged down with bad runs until
the scene is cleaned up.
Cop:
When I pulled you over, I guessed 55.
Matronly Suspect: No sir, it's just my hat that makes me
look like that. |
Q.
What happened when the truckload of toilet paper crashed
on the highway?
A. When cops arrived at the scene, they asked if it was
a roll-over or a roll-under.
Q.
What happened when the shipment of toilet paper crashed
on the freeway?
A. Police described the scene as a real wipe-out.
Q.
What did Dracula say to the cop that pulled him over near
the highway?
A. I was just looking for the main artery.
|
Q.
What happened when the semi truck full of toilet paper crashed
on the Interstate?
A. Police say there were definite skid marks leading up
to the scene of the accident.
Q.
What happened when the semi truck full of toilet paper crashed
on the Interstate?
A. Police did not ticket the driver, saying he had a bum
steer.
Q.
Why did the cops detain the mattress store delivery truck
driver that sped by?
A. Because he could blow their cover. |
Q.
Why did the cops pull over a pig?
A. Because he was a road hog!
A
state trooper pulled over a farmer on a rural road and said,
"Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the truck
a mile ago?" The farmer replied, "Thank God, I
thought I was going deaf."
Q.
What do you call a flying policeman?
A. A helicopter. |
Q.
Which Native American chief was know for giving out a lot
of traffic tickets?
A. Citing Bull.
Q.
Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?
A. For exceeding the feed limit.
Cop:
Sir, your eyes are red. Have you been smoking weed?
Motorist: Your eyes are glazed. Have you been eating donuts
|
Q.
Why did the cop ticket the computer?
A. Because it was speeding along the information highway!
Today's
horoscope said: "You're going places today and you
can't be stopped!" Yeah right, tell that to the cop
that just pulled me over...
Officer:
Do you know why I stopped you?
Blonde: Because I didn't pull out of the donut shop too
fast? |
Q.
What did the seasoned officer ask his rookie blonde partner
while on their first patrol in the squad car?
A. Are you trying to driving me crazy?
Q.
What do you call a cop who breezes through the new radar
gun's users manual?
A. A speed reader.
Ttaffic
Cop Come-On: No Officer,
I'm not drunk. I'm just intoxicated by your big guns.
Police
Pick Up Line: Madam, I
am writing you this ticket to the Policeman's Ball 'cause
you have fine written all over you. |
Q.
Why did the cop ticket the sheep?
A. Because she was a really baaad driver.
Q.
Why did the cops arrest the winner of the hot dog eating
contest?
A. For speed eating.
Q.
Why did the blonde get all excited when the rookie cop gave
her a citation?
A. 'Cause she thought she had the golden ticket.
Q.
What did the redneck say when traffic cops pulled him over
and asked for his ID?
A. 'Bout what?
|
Q.
What does a highway patrol cop hate on his peanut butter
sandwich?
A. Traffic Jam.
Police
Pick Up Line: Babe, if
you were the words on a parking ticket, you'd be the fine
print.
Q.
What do the cops say when they drive up and surround your
tailgating party?
A. Dish is the Police!
Q.
What did the cop say to the suspect he pulled over?
A. If you run, you'll just go to jail tired. |
Q.
What is black and always in the back of a cop car?
A. The back seat.
Q.
What did the blonde say to the cop?
A. If you have to ask if I've been drinking, I'm not gonna
tell ya...
Q.
How does the Denver Police Department grill a chicken?
A. Repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road last night.
Police
Pull -Over Line: Woo
woo baby, I always turn on my siren when I see a siren.
Q.
Why did the state trooper ticket the bard?
A. For driving without poetic license. |
Traffic
Cop: Sir, we are going to have to give you a drug test.
Cooperative Citizen: Okay, but which drugs are we testing?
Q.
What do cops call a car theif who happens to be a contortionist?
A. An offender bender.
Q.
What hapened when the truck full of Legos crashed on the
highway?
A. Police are still trying to piece it all together.
Police
Pick-Up Line: Babe, how
fast were you going when you fell from heaven and into my
speed trap? |
Q.
Why did the clock stop by police headquarters?
A. To pay off all its tick-ets.
Q.
What did the chemist say when he escaped the police during
the car chase?
A. Cu later, Copper!
Police
Pick Up Line: If you were
a stop light, I'd turn red every time you walk by, just
so I could stare at you longer.
Police
Pick-Up Line: Babe, stick
with me, and those lights won't be the only thing flashing.
Police
Pick Up Line: Don't you
know that it's illegal to look that fine? |
|
Traffic Cop Jokes | Detective
Jokes | Cop Cuisine | Robber
Jokes | Jail Jokes and Prison Puns
|
| Police Jokes, Cop Puns, Arresting Jokes
| 2 | 3 |
4 | 5 | 6
| 7 | 8 |
9 | Police
Pick-Up Lines | 2 |
| Gun Jokes, Pistol Puns, Bullet Humor
| Judge Jokes, Courtroom LOLs |
Explosive Bomb Puns |
|
Denver Cop Puns | Arresting
Jokes | Animal Crimie Jokes
| Farm Criminal LOLs, Cow Cop Puns
|
| Barely Legal Jokes, Criminal Puns
| 2 | Lawyer
Jokes, Attorney Puns | Killer Friday
13th LOLs |
| Fireman Jokes, Arson Puns | Military
Jokes, Soldier Puns | Politician
Jokes, Political Puns |
| Traffic Humor | Drunk
Puns | Drunken Gnomes | Drug
Puns | Weed Jokes | Superhero
Puns |
| Job Jokes | Actor
Jokes | Artist Puns | Astronaut
Puns | Athlete Jokes | Auto
Mechanic Puns |
| Baker Jokes | Bartender
Jokes | Chef Puns | Electrician
Jokes | Home Contractor Humor
|
| Locksmith Puns | Magician
| Musician | Plumber
| Psychic Jokes | Shrink
Puns | Tech Support |

You've
cruised along this
far, so here's even more illegal
laughter,
fine jokes, speedy
humor and flashing painful
puns to keep on your radar:
|
More
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
|
Alien Jokes | Auto
Mechanic Jokes | Beer Jokes |
Colorado Jokes | Cowboy
Jokes | Fit Puns | Ghoulish
Jokes |
| Horse Jokes | Hot
Dog Puns | Manly Men Jokes | Pickle
Puns | Pirate Jokes | Poker
Jokes | Psychic Jokes |
| Road Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports
Jokes | Travel Jokes | Weather
Jokes | Women Jokes |
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