Q. Why didn't the dog want to play football? A. He was a Boxer!   PainfulPuns.com - Pet Puns + Funny Birds, Cats, Dogs = Pet Peeves

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Q. What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede? A. A Walkie Talkie
Wine Humor: Q. Which breed of dog can bring you a glass of red wine? A. The bordeaux vollie!
Q. What is small, gray, suck blood, and eats cheese? A. A Mouse-quito!
Q. Why was the Energizer bunny arrested? A. He was charged with battery!

 


Pet Animal Humor, Cute Pet Jokes, Animal Puns
Home in on cute pet animal jokes, chewsy pet humor, and purr-fectly funny pet puns.

House Pet Jokes and Furry Funny Animal Puns
(Because Funny Entertaining Pets with a Great Sense of Humor Could Never Be TOO Mainstream at Your House!)
Warning: Please Don't Tease the Animals! Catty jokes, fishy laughs, cheep laughs and pooched puns ahead.
| Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bird Jokes | Cat Jokes and Wildcat Puns | Dog Jokes | 2 |
| Finny Fish Puns | Fishy Humor | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns | Mouse and Rodent Jokes |
| Farm Animal Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Duck and Goose Jokes | Cow Puns | Pig Puns | Sheep Puns |
| Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes | Bronco Puns | Insect Puns | Scary Animals | Animal Pick-Up Lines |

Are you just here for the lynx? Happy Caturday!You might be from Colorado if you plan all your dinner dates at dog-friendly restaurants!Fish Asks: Which pet makes the loudest noise? A. A Trumpet!

Q. Why did the lion feel sick after he'd eaten a priest?
A. Because it's hard to keep a good man down.

Me-Wow! Police are investigating a feline corpse that was found in a Xerox machine. They're calling it a copy cat killing.

Q. Which day do lions eat people?
A. Chewsday!

No Lion Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, you can trust me, 'cause I'm not a cheetah.

Q. What do you call the sound your cat made right now?
A. Purr of the moment.

Q. What is your pet dog's favorite dessert?
A. Pupcakes!

Q. What do pampered pet dogs really enjoy for breakfast?
A. Pooched eggs!

Q. What is a sure sign Fido got into tonight's dessert?
A. Pudding on the dog.

Q. Which type of chair does a big tired dog prefer?
A. A bark-a-lounger.

Q. What do you say to a show dog wearing stilettos?
A. Heel!

Q. What kind of fish plays the guitar?
A. Bassist.

Q. What do you call a dangerous fish that drinks too much?
A. A beer-a-cuda!

Q. How can you tell if your aquarium has extra bubbles because your clown fish just farted?
A. It smells funny.

Q. What do you call a lonesome fish?
A. Sole.

Q. Which pop and soul superstar adores fish, especially bluefin, yellowfin, and albacore?
A. Tuna Turner.

Q. How many birds does it take to change a light bulb? A. Toucan do it!Q. What did the cat say after he lost all his money? A. I'm Paw!Q. What is a horse's favorite sport? A. Stable Tennis!

Q. What do you call a very rude and obnoxious bird?
A. A Mockingbird.

Q. Which migratory birds are seasonally found on the Iberian Peninsula?
A. Portu-geese.

Q. Who brings presents to good birdies at Christmas time?
A. Santa Caws!

Q. How do purdy pet kitty cats describe themselves?
A. As Purr-fect!

Q. How does a cat in heat sing the scales?
A. Do, Re, MeOW!

Q. How does a prowling Tom cat sing the scales when sees Pussy?
A. Do, Re, MeWOW!

Q. Why are most pet horses in such great shape?
A. Because they eat a stable diet.

Q. Why did the boy stand behind his pet horse?
A. He thought he'd get a kick out of it.

Horse Chat Up Line: Hay baby, how 'bout you lose that saddle and come be my mane squeeze?

I have no idea how to raise chickens? So I guess I'll just have to wing it!Q. What's the difference between a piano and a tuna? A. You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!Q. What do you get if you cross a lamb and a rocket? A. Space Sheep!

Q. What subject do clever pet chickens study in school?
A. Egg-onomics.

Q. What does an evil hen lay?
A. Deviled eggs.

Q. What do you call it when it rains chickens and ducks?
A. Fowl Weather!

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey Penny, if you were a chicken, you'd be impeccable.

Q. Which game show do pet fish enjoy most?
A. Name That Tuna!

Q. What do you call a fish with two knees?
A. A tunee fish.

Q. What do you call a pet fish who wears an ascot?
A. So fish-ticated!

Q. Which fish is only visible at night?
A. The starfish.

Q. What do sheep wear at work?
A. Ewe-niforms.

Q. What do you call a sheep out in the rain?
A. A wet blanket.

Q. What does an ambitious sheep want?
A. To wool the world.

Q. Why was the lamb arrested on the freeway?
A. Because she did a ewe turn.

Local news reported a crocodile was found in Denver! But nobody was surprised because the forecast predicted a cold snap!Q. What is a locksmith's favorite house pet? A. His Key-ty Cat!Q. What was teh transvestite rooster's stage name? A. Dawn!

Q. What do you call a crocodile with GPS?
A. A Navi-Gator!

Q. Why won't crocodiles attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.

Q. What do you call a crocodile that likes to go bowling?
A. An alley-gator.

Zookeeper's Worst Nightmare Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, I'm gonna be on you like alligator on wildebeest.

Q. What is it called when a prized pet cat wins at a dog show?
A. A cat-has-trophy!

Q. How many felines do you need for a square?
A. Four lions.

Q. What is the fiercest flower in the garden?
A. The tiger lily.

Q. Who wrote the book, Large Wild Cats?
A. Rory Lyons.

Q. What do you call a crazy pet chicken?
A. A cuckoo cluck!

Q. What does a gay rooster say?
A. Cock-a-doodle-dude!

Q. What does a rooster ask for at the barber shop?
A. A cock-a-doodle-hair-do.

Poultry Pick-Up Line: Hey chickadee, I'm no rooster, but just watch what this cock-a-do-to-you!

| Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Bird Jokes | Cat Jokes and Wildcat Puns | Dog Jokes | 2 |
| Finny Fish Puns | Fishy Humor | Frog Jokes and Snake Puns | Mouse and Rodent Jokes |
| Farm Animal Jokes | Chicken Jokes | Duck and Goose Jokes | Cow Puns | Pig Puns | Sheep Puns |
| Donkey Puns | Horse Jokes | Bronco Puns | Insect Puns | Scary Animals | Animal Pick-Up Lines |
| Wild Animals | Bear Jokes | Deer Puns | Monkey Jokes | Animal Poop Puns | Bigfoot Jokes | 2 |
| Colorado Animals | Animal Music Jokes | Party Animals | Sports Animals | Xmas Animal Jokes |


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You've heeled this far, so here's even more catty laughs, fishy jokes,
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More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

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| Gnome Kidding! | Hipster Humor | Magician Jokes | Music Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate Puns | Scary Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Funnies | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | Turdy Puns | Weather Jokes | Zombie Puns |

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