My Pig Had a Rash, So the Vet Gave Her Some Oinkment. - Pet Puns + Funny Birds, Cats, Dogs = Pet Peeves

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Lots oof fish in the sea are glad it's finally Friday!
Q. What's the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer? One is a bird watcher, and the other's a word botcher.
Cannabis Trivia? Sinatra's ad-libbed closing "Dooby-Dooby-Doo" gave the creator of cartoon dog Scooby-Doo the inspiration for his name!
Tiger Says: Caturday was going so well until I realized it was Sunday?


Funny Pet Animal Jokes, Pet Humor, Animal Puns
Laugh along with furry funny pet jokes, cute animal humor, and lovable house pet puns.

Pet Jokes, Lovable Pet Puns, Fun Animal Humor
(Because Funny Animal Jokes and Silly Pet Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream at Your Best Friendly Vet's Office!)
Warning: Please Don't Feed the Animals Cheap Chow! Nippy pet jokes and growling funny pet puns ahead.
| Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Pet Kitty Cat Jokes | 2 | 3 | Feline Humor | Vet Jokes |
| Dog Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Dog Days LOLs | Colorado Dog Jokes | Denver Bronco Dog Jokes |
| Pet Bird Jokes | Parrot Jokes | Duck Jokes | 2 | Tropical Fish and Koi Jokes | Finny Fish Puns |
| Animal Poop Puns | Pet Rodent Jokes | Mouse Puns | Exotic Pets | Frog Jokes | Snake Jokes |

Q. What do you call a baby donkey? A. A Burrito!Q. Why didn't the dog want to play football? A. He was a Boxer!Q. What does an exhibitionist snake wear to the beach? A. A Pything!

Q. What happens when you buy a pet mini donkey?
A. You get a little ass.

Q. What do you get if you cross a pet donkey and a motorcycle?
A. A Yam-Hee-Haw.

Q. What do you call a donkey with a Ph.D?
A. A smart ass!

Equine Chat Up Line: Hey there, I bet the other donkeys are jealous 'cause that's one fine ass.

Q. Which kind of dog chases anything red?
A. A bulldog!

My dog, Minton, ate two shuttlecocks. Bad, bad, Minton!

Q. What is a prize fighter's favorite dog?
A. The Boxer.

Two dogs meet on the street and do a ritual sniff. One turns to the other and says, "I don't recall your name, but the feces familiar."

Snakes really enjoy hisss-terical puns!

Q. What is it called when a rattlesnake can't produce venom?
A. E-reptile dysfunction!

Q. Which kind of pet snake likes to keep his car clean?
A. The Windshield Viper!

Snaky Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, I hear you like reptiles? I've got one right here called a trouser snake.

Q. Which kind of fish performs brain surgery? A. A brain sturgeon!Worf Asks: Why can't Klingon kids play in sandboxes? A. Cats keep trying to cover them up!Q. Which kind of dog does every vampire own? A. A Bloodhound!

Q. Where are most fish found?
A. Between the head and the tail.

Q. What kind of pet fish could help you hear better?
A. A Herring Aid.

Q. What do fish need to stay healthy?
A. Vitamin Sea.

Q. What do you call if when a fish hides behind a rock in the garden pond?
A. Just being koi.

Q. What do you call a lion wearing a very dapper hat?
A. A dandy lion!

Q. Which big cat should you never bet against?
A. A Cheetah!

Q. What do you call a teen-aged big cat with acne?
A. A dotted lion.

Q. Which is a lion's favorite USA state?
A. Maine.

Q. How did the little Scottish dog feel when he saw a big, scary monster?
A. Terrier-fied!

Q. Which breed of dog tells off-color jokes?
A. A sMutt!

Q. What do you call a large dog that meditates?
A. Aware-wolf.

Q. What do you call a barking dog aboard an underwater ship?
A. A sub woofer.

Q. What does a Romulan frog use for camouflage? A. A croaking device!Q. What is small, gray, suck blood, and eats cheese? A. A Mouse-quito!Q. Which fruit do sheep enjoy most? A. Baaaa-nanas!

Q. What does a frog do when his car breaks down?
A. He calls a toad truck.

Q. What do stylish sci-fi frogs wear?
A. Jumpsuits.

Q. Why are frogs so happy?
A. Because they eat whatever bugs them!

Q. What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
A. One says ribbit, ribbit and the other says rub-it, rub-it.

Q. Which rodent snack do cats prefer?
A. Mice Krispies.

Q. What kind of cheese do pet rodents prefer?
A. Mouserella!

Q. What does a mouse's cousin use to paint her nails?
A. Shrew polish.

Q. Which pet is small, furry, and smells like bacon?
A. A hamster.

Did you hear about the blonde who decided to become a sheep farmer? She planted them too close together.

Q. What lives under water and bleats at ships?
A. A ewe-boat.

Q. Where do sheep go on holiday?
A. Baali.

Q. What did the ram say when his wife really hoped for something?
A. Ewe wish!

Q. Who delivers Christmas presents to cats? A. Santa Claws!Q. What's the difference between a dog & a violinist? A. The dog knows when to quit scratching!Q. Who delivers Christmas presents to dogs? A. Santa Paws!

Q. What do you call a cat that digs in the sand?
A. Sandy Claws.

Q. What do tigers sing at Christmas time?
A. Jungle Bells, Jungle Bells...

Q. Why are tigers considered very religious felines?
A. They prey frequently, and they prey as a family.

Q. What did the dog say when he sat on coarse sand paper?
A. Ruff, Ruff!

Q. Where should you put your dog if he barks while you're not home?
A. In a barking lot!

Q. Which snack do dogs prefer while watching a crappy movie with their human?
A. Poop-corn.

Q. What do you call a dark dog at the North Pole?
A. A dusky husky.

Q. Why did the dog bring toilet paper to his master's New Year's Eve affair?
A. He was a real party pooper!

Q. What does a stylish pet bitch wear to a big party?
A. Her petticoat.

| Pet Animal Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Vet Jokes | Tropical Fish and Koi Jokes | Finny Fish Puns |
| Dog Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Dog Days LOLs | Colorado Dog Jokes | Denver Bronco Dog Jokes |
| Pet Kitty Cat Jokes | 2 | 3 | Feline Humor | Caturday Laughs | Wildcat Humor, Lion Jokes |
| Pet Bird Jokes | Parrot Jokes | Duck Jokes, Quack Puns, and Loon Laughs | 2 | Goose Humor |
| Animal Poop Puns | Pet Rodent Jokes | Mouse Jokes | Rabbit Jokes and Funny Bunny Puns |
| Exotic Pet and Reptile Puns | Frog Jokes and Toad Puns | Snake Jokes | Scary Animal Jokes |
| Farm Animals | Horse Jokes | Wild Animal Jokes | Colorado Animal Jokes | Party Animal Grins |
| Animal Sports Humor | Animal Music Jokes | Christmas Animal Jokes | Animal Pick-Up Lines |

PainfulPuns Home
You've sniffed out this much, but here's more arF-ing funny humor,
catty jokes and micely played painful pet puns that birds squawk about:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Batman Puns | Blonde Jokes | Boxing Jokes | Clown Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Dateless Jokes | Hairy Humor |
| Hipster Humor | Klingon Jokes | Magician Jokes | Monster Jokes | Music Jokes | Pirate Puns | Sci-Fi Jokes |
| Sports Jokes | Swimming Jokes | Travel Jokes | Turd Puns | Vampire Jokes | Weather Humor | Xmas Jokes |

Animal Puns, Wildlife HumorPainful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

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