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Q. What do fish use for money? A. Sand Dollars!
Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.
Gorilla Says: Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back!
If I had a nickel for every gnome as hot as you, I'd have 5 cents!

 


Bucking Funny Money Puns & Smart Money LOLs
Cash in on funny money humor, priceless debt-defying puns, and cent-sational jokes.

Money Jokes, Priceless Puns, Banking Humor
(Because Banking Humor and Priceless Jokes Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream if You Have a Conflict of Interest!)
Warning: Divest with Caution! Bank jokes, quarterly laughs, bean counter humor and funny money puns ahead.
| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns, Money Funny! | Penny Jokes and Cents-Less Puns | 2 |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |

Q. What did the cat say after he lost all his money? A. I'm Paw!Big Ape Asks: What do you call it when you pay off all your credit cards? A. A debt-defying act!Penguin Asks: Where do snowmen keep their money? A. In a snow bank!

Q. What happened after a cat swallowed a coin?
A. There was money in the kitty.

Q. Why can't some people afford paper towels?
A. Because the price is too absorb-ident!

CPA Pick-Up Line: Are you a 1040EZ? 'Cause I'd like to fill you in.

Q. How did the blonde know she truly was poor?
A. She couldn't even pay attention.

Banking Point to Ponder: Do banks with different rates have a conflict of interest?

Q. Why isn't there gold at the end of the rainbow?
A. A leprechaun took it and sold it to Cash4Golds!

Q. Where is a great place to get fast cash for all the shrimp you don't need?
A. At the Prawn Shop.

CPA Pick-Up Line: Let's fill out that 1040. Your'e a 10, and I'm 40.

Q. Why don't sharks attack bankers?
A. Professional courtesy.

Cocaine was God's way of telling you that you were making too much money in the 1980s.

Accountant Pick-Up Line: I'm an incomplete ledger without you 'cause I need you to balance me out.

Q. Why is circumcision still so popular?
A. Because Jewish girls won't touch anything that's not at least 15% off.

Q. Why isn't there money at the end of a rainbow? A. A leprechaun took it and sold it to Cash4Gold!Q. Why did the girl put two quarters in her ear? A. To hear 50 Cent!Ape Asks: What do you call a man with a head full of change? A. Headquarters!

Q. What did the garden gnome say when the leprechaun asked him for ten bucks?
A. Sorry, I'm a little short.

Q. What do you call a belt made of cash?
A. A waist of money!

Q. Why did the robber take a bath before he held up the bank?
A. 'Cause he e wanted to make a clean getaway!

Q. What happens when accountants are left a loan?
A. They become debt-icated.

Cents-ical Money Trivia: Interest has such accrual way of accumulating.

Q. How can you tell a blonde is not a Denver Broncos fan?
A. She thinks a quarterback is change for a buck.

Q. When was the Mercury Dime finally replaced?
A. In 1945, only after the US Mint approved the exact change.

Q. Why can't you bend a dime in half? A. Because change is hard.

Q. What happened when the blonde went to the mind reader?
A. She got her money back...

Q. What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A. Change.

Q. What did the sheep say when she found a penny on the street?
A. That's better than mutton!

Q. Who wrote the book, How to Win the Lottery Twice?
A. Jack Potz.

Skunk Says: The IRS left a message on my cell phone. It was a taxed message!What did a vampire say when he went to the blood bank? A. I vant to make a withdrawal!Q. What's one way to keep your money from the casinos in Vegas? A. When you get off the plane, just walk into the propellers!

Insider Banking Lingo: A personal financial dilemma is also known as a bill pickle.

Q. How will a bank teller help you if you want to draw money?
A. He'll hand you a pen.

Q. Why do some people work at fragrance factories?
A. Because it makes s-cents.

Super Saver Groan of the Day: A guy got gas for $1.99 today! Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell.

Q. Where do vampires keep their money?
A. In the blood bank.

Q. Why doesn't England need a kidney bank?
A. Because it has a Liverpool.

A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. Now, he's wishing for a drier pocket.

Q. What is the difference between a paycheck and a penis?
A. You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.

Q. Why are hermits always penniless?
A. Because they are loaners!

Q. When is it bad business to be reaching higher?
A. When you're a bank teller in a hold-up!

Big Money Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

Big Money Moan of the Day: Give a man a gun and he will rob a bank. Give a man a bank and he will rob everyone.

Q. Why does cupid always make so much money at the casino? A. Because he's a Valentine's card shark!Q. Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute? A. A prostitute because she can always wash her crack and sell it again!Q. What do you call a bankrupt Santa Claus? A. Saint Nickel-Less!

Love is gambling, not with money but with your heart. You can always get money back, but you might not get your heart back. Ouch!

A guy tossed a penny down the well and made a wish … that the police would never find Penny's body.

A dyslexic robber ran into a bank and shouted, "Air in the hands, mother stickers! This is a f*ck up!"

Q. Which comedian was destined to make the big bucks?
A. Rich Hall.

Q. What do you call accountants at a coffee company?
A. They're known as a bean counters.

Did you hear about the frugal barber who opened up a shavings account?

Q. Why is there always candy at the cash register?
A. So that you'll buy some if it's a Payday.

Q. Why didn't the blonde go into the bank that offered 24 Hour Banking?
A. Because she didn't have that much time. DUH!

Q. Where does Santa keep his money?
A. In a snow bank.

Q. Why should you think twice about opening an account at the Bank of the North Pole?
A. Accounts are often frozen there.

Q. Why do student's grades drop after the holidays?
A. Because everything is marked down after Christmas!

A doctor walked into a bank full of anti-vaxxers. With a syringe in hand, he says, "Gimme all the money and nobody gets shot!"

| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns, Money Funny! | Penny Jokes and Cents-Less Puns | 2 |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |

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