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Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a crazy rabbit alike? A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.
Change is inevitable... Except from a vending machine!

Two coins meet. 1st coin says, "Hi, I'm 5 Cents." 2nd coin replies, "I'm 5 Cents too, what a coin-cidence!"
Q. Why did the banker take the blonde teller into the vault? A. For Safe Sex!

 


Money Jokes, Coin Humor, Quarterly Report
Collect loose change laughs, rich coin jokes, mint humor, numismatist jokes and coin-y puns.

Quarter Jokes, Numismatic Puns, Money Funny!
(Because Rare Coin Humor and Commemorative Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Numismatists)
Warning: Nickel and Dime at Your Own Risk! Coin collector humor, quarter jokes, and cents-less puns ahead.
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns, and Money Funny! | Penny Jokes and Cents-Less Puns | 2 |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |
| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

Q. What's the difference between the Denver Broncos and a dollar bill? A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill! Go Broncos!Q. Who has the most loose change in the solar system? A. the moon. It keeps changing quarters!Q. Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? A. because the quarter had more cents!

Q. How can you tell a blonde is not a Broncos fan?
A. She thinks a quarterback is change for a buck.

Q. How can you make a coin collector laugh?
A. Oh-pun your coin album.

Q. Why won't Americans switch to a dollar coin?
A. Because they're afraid of change!

Q. Which horse is on the Delaware state quarter?
A. The quarter horse, duh!

Q. Why did Buddha start pulling coins out of his ears?
A. Because change comes from within.

Funny Money Fact: A good numismatist can come up with some very coiny jokes.

Q. Where were the original Washington head 25-cent coins minted?
A. At the P & D Headquarters.

Q. Why shouldn't you carry four quarters in your pocket?
A. Because four quarters make a hole, and then you'd lose your money!

Q. Which retired pirate got away with counterfeiting coins for over a decade?
A. Long Con Silver.

Q. What is a wordsmith's favorite money-making tactic.
A. Coining a phrase.

Q. How can you tell if a quarter is fresh?
A. You can smell the mint.

Q. What does a gallant numismatist call a coin that's in peril?
A. A dime-sel in distress!

Aren't you clad you saw that last Painful coin Pun?

Quarterly Report: If quarters fall from the sky, is that an indicator of climate change?

Q. Why does your grandfather always store his coin collection in Altoids tins?
A. He claims it kept them in mint condition.

Money Point to Ponder: Without coins, would US currency be utter non-cents?

Q. How is the moon like a dollar? A. Both have four quarters!Ape Asks: What do you call a man with a head full of change? A. Headquarters!Q. Why did the offensive lineman with a concussion go to the bank? A. To get his quarterback!

Q. What happened to the toddler who swallowed the quarters?
A. The ER reports there's no change yet...

Q. What did the pocket change say to the dollar bill?
A. You make no cents.

Q. What happens if a coin lands on its side?
A. You can't make heads or tails of it.

Monitary Point to Ponder: Why is it that all you can buy for a dollar these days is nonsense?

Q. What happened after the guy who invented Bitcoin was given a title by the queen?
A. He incapacitated Superman because now he is a crypto knight.

Q. What happened to the guy who found a strange old coin with the faces worn away?
A. He couldn't make heads or tails of it.

Q. What coin doubles in value when half is deducted?
A. A half dollar!

Did you hear about the new minting machine that produces coins – only if you focus intently on it? It makes cents if you think about it.

Q. Which employees go on strike when they want to make less money?
A. Mint workers.

A guy said he swallowed a large amount of counterfeit coins to avoid being caught with them. He was really full of non-cents.

Mom: Why in the world did you just swallow the quarters I just gave you?
Son: Because you said it was lunch money.

Have you heard about the new coin that's coming our is worth 8 times more than Bitcoin! Yeah, it's name is Bytecoin!

Q. How can you tell a blonde is not a Broncos fan?
A. She can't understand why all those guys are beating each other up over 25 cents.

Q. Why did the Denver Mint hire a bloodhound?
A. That just made scents.

Q. Why are people who work at the U.S. coin mints so lucky?
A. Because they make a lot of money.

Funny Money Groan of the Day: Do bad coin puns score with a rim shot, or would that put you on edge?

Q. Why didn't the collector buy the rare coin from the dealer?
A. Because the vendor didn't have the proof.

Q. In the future, how will you give a dollar to a stripper?
A. You'll pay her in Buttcoin.

Q. Which two coins add up to 30 cents, but one isn't a nickel? A. A quarter & a nickel. The quarter isn't a nickel!How much is the moon worth? One Dollar because it has 4 quarters!Q. Why did the girl put two quarters in her ear? A. To hear 50 Cent!

Money Management Wisdom from Your Grandpa: Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Q. What do coin grading services and concrete specialists have in common?
A. Both like to slab stuff.

Q. How do dolphins make big financial decisions?
A. They flipper coin.

Two blondes were walking down the street when it started raining coins. One of them told the other, "That is just climate change."

Q. Midas was greedy but, who is another Greek figure that's obsessed with collecting coins?
A. Purseus.

Patient: Doc, I don't know why I've always been addicted to coins.
Shrink: I just can't make heads or tails of it.

Q. What is a paradigm?
A. Two dimes in your pocket.

Q. Why wouldn't the general public use the new US dollar coins?
A. Because they don't like change.

Q. What do deep sea fish use for money?
A. Sand dollars!

Q. What did the sailor say when he finally came across a coin shop that sold nickels?
A. Alloy There!

They say change is inevitable. Too bad that @#$%$! vending machine doesn't know that!

Q. What happened after the cat swallowed a coin?
A. There was finally some money in the kitty!

Money Funny Pun: Coin tosses are a real head turners.

Q. What is the name of 50 Cent's half-brother?
A. 25 Cent.

Q. How are rare coins like women?
A. Some are very fine.

Q. Why did the miser put all his quarters in the freezer?
A. Because he only wanted cold, hard cash.

Worst Blonde Logic of the Day: I'll bet you a quarter that you're stupid. Heads I win, tails you lose.

Q. Why wouldn't the British grandfather exchange a bunch of American coins he collected as a kid?
A. Because they have cent-imental value.

Q. What should you do if you have a problem eating coins?
A. Consult a life coach, because they inspire change within yourself.

Ape Asks: Why did the banker count his money with his toes? A. So it wouldn't run through his fingers!The winds of change ae raining coins of copper, nickel, and silver!Big Ape Asks: What is the problem wiith banker jokes? A. Bankers don't think they're funny, and normal people don't think they're jokes!

Q. When does it rain money in Colorado?
A. When there's a change in the weather.

Q. Why did the grandpa pull out his coin collection again, after all these years?
A. For old dimes sake.

Q. Why can't you bend a dime in half? A. Because change is hard.

Did you hear about the fast miser? He wasn't able to stop on a dime. OUCH!

Q. What do you call coins flying through the jet stream?
A. The winds of change.

Q. Which breed of dog has the most coins?
A. A bloodhounds, because they are always picking up cents.

Q. Why is the penny the most plentiful coin in circulation?
A. Because it's common cents.

Q. How do you describe a person's breath that smells like metal coins?
A. Minted fresh.

Q. Which mint pun always sizes up?
A. Measuremint.

Q. How are a counterfeit coin and a rabid rabbit alike?
A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.

There's a rumor that the Denver Mint stopped making coins. Fake News! 'Cause that just doesn't make cents!

Q. Why did the blonde decide to withdraw all the money in her bank account and take it home all in coins?
A. 'Cause she needed some real change in her life.

Q. How do penguins make a decision?
A. They flipper coin.

Smart Money Tip of the Day: A blonde threw a coin into the wishing fountain and wished for lots of coins. But, it turns out wishes just don't come true. Sometimes you have to get your feet wet. DUH!

Q. What happened when the nickel and the penny got fused together and haunted?
A. Now the coin has the sixth cents.

Q. What is the merciless vending machine's favorite money pun slogan?
A. Give no quarter.

Q. Why do misers like autumn so much?
A. The winds of change are raining coins of copper gold and silver.

Funny Money Point to Ponder: COINcidence or coincidence, isn't that rich?

Q. What do you call a guy who had intercourse with 25 cents?
A. A quarter pounder.

A guy was digging out in his garden when he found a chest full of gold coins. He was about to run straight inside to tell his wife about it, but then he remembered why he was digging in our garden...

Q. How is the moon like a dollar?
A. They both have four quarters.

Numismatist Moan of the Day: Coin collecting is the one instance where you are glad to hear something got diagnosed with MS.

Q. Why did the guy decide not to donate a dime to any charity raising funds for a marathon?
A. Because they just take the money and run.

Q. What do you call bankrupt Santa?
A. St. Nickel-less.

| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns, and Money Funny! | Penny Jokes and Cents-Less Puns | 2 |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |
| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| On the Job Jokes | Police Puns | Criminal Jokes | Superhero Jokes | Painful Groaner Jokes |

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Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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