Q. What did one penny say to another? A. Money jokes are priceless. That's my two cents worth!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What did one penny say to another? A. Money jokes are priceless!
Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest!
Hardworking Memes Make Gnome Sense!
Q. Why did a guy keep throwing monopoly money at the stripper? A. She kept putting fake boobs in his face!

 


Funny Money Puns and Counterfeit Humor
Profit from rich money humor, re-vaulting puns, and accountable jokes you can count on.

Rich Jokes, Money Humor, Banking Puns
(Because Common Cents Humor and Priceless Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream if Your Calculator Died!)
Warning: Cash Out with Cow-tion! Investment banking humor, liquidity jokes, rich laughs and pricey puns ahead.
| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns, Money Funny! | Penny Jokes and Cents-Less Puns | 2 |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |

Q. Where did the bull lose all his money? A. At teh cowsino!A lot of money is tainted. Tain yours and it taint mine!Q. Why didn't an element want to get bonded to its partner? A. It would have to pay compound interest!

Q. What do prosperous cows say?
A. Moolah! An udder day, an udder dollar.

Q. Why don't cows have any money?
A. Because farmers milk them dry.

Banker Pick-Up Line: Wanna get a drink sometime? I'm not a bank, but I need liquidity, too.

A man arrives with a lot of items at the checkout, so the cashier ask, "Wanna box for those?" So, the man replied, "Can't we just settle this peacefully?"

Q. What color is a US dollar bill?
A. Mint green.

Q. Why did the banker count his money with his toes?
A. Because he didn't want the money to slip through his fingers.

Q. Which kind of cookie is the richest?
A. A fortune cookie!

Meagar Financial Wisdom: When you are poor, always spend your money wisely because it's common sense.

Q. What is a paradigm?
A. Two dimes in your pocket.

Money-Wise Point to Ponder: If money doesn't grow on trees, why do banks have branches?

Accountant Pick-Up Line: Babe, if 4+4=8, then me + you = fate!

Q. If you have $10 in your pocket and you lose $5, what do you have in your pocket?
A. A hole.

Penguin Says: I had an account at the North Pole, but they froze my assets!Q. What do you get when you put the money you've earned and IRS together? A. THEIRS!Big Ape Says: You feel stuck with your debt when you can't budge it!

Q. Why did the blonde put her money in the freezer?
A. She wanted cold, hard cash!

Q. How did the dinosaurs pay their bills?
A. With Tyrannosaurus checks.

Q. Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
A. Because he told the man to put his hands up… OUCH!

Q. Why did USPS recall a series of stamps depicting famous bankers?
A. Postal patrons were too confused about which side to spit on.

Q. Which book did 1950s women like the most?
A. Their husbands checkbook.

Q. How did the guy feel when he got a huge bill from the electric company?
A. He was shocked!

Q. What is 50 Cent's least favorite place to shop?
A. The dollar store.

Q. How are men like bank accounts?
A. One day they're up, the next they're down, but most of the time they show no interest.

Q. How can you make a coin collector laugh?
A. Oh-pun your coin album.

Q. What do you call a rep at a predatory refi company?
A. A loan wolf.

Q. Why did the blonde go broke?
A. Because her head was full of not cents.

Q. What did the prostitute say when the passenger beside her said he didn't have any cash, but really wanted to join the mile high club?
A. I don't give a flying f-ck.

Ape Asks: What do you call an investment that profits off sharehoulder activism? A. The feeling is mutal fund!Q. Where does Santa keep his money? A. In a snow bank!Q. Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A. He's got no beef!

Q. If you want to get rich, why should you keep your mouth shut?
A. Because silence is golden.

Q. Which historical era had the poorest musicians?
A. The Baroque period.

Q. Who earns a living driving all their customers away?
A. A taxi driver.

High Finance Factoid: Maybe money can't buy happiness, but it sure does offer a more pleasant form of misery!

Q. What eerie feeling might you have in late December?
A. An out of money experience.

Priceless Point to Ponder: If Jesus didn't pay for our sins with cash or credit, did he use PrayPal?

Mom: Why in the world did you just swallow the money I gave you?
Son: Well, you said it was lunch money.

A kid found a nickel in the driveway. But, his bratty sister kicked it away saying, "You are Nicholas."

Q. Why are successful rodeo cowboys rich?
A. Because every bronco gives them a buck or two.

Q. What did the Wyoming bankers do after the bank was robbed?
A. They bought in cows to beef up the security.

Q. Why did the blonde feed money to her cows?
A. Because she wanted rich milk.

Q. What is it called when a banker buys weed?
A. A dank transaction.

Q. Why did Yoda visit Barclays? A. He was after a bank clone!Happy Mon-ey-day!Ape Asks: Did you hear about the CEO who dropped a brownie on his calculator? e was trying to fudge the numbers!

Money Logic Point to Ponder: If time is money, are ATMs time machines?

Q. What did the sailor say when he finally came across a coin shop that sold nickels?
A. Alloy There!

Q. What is the most expensive item at the dollar store?
A. The condoms. OUCH!

Son: What's an inheritance?
Dad: Nothing you need to be concerned with.

Banking Groan of the Day: Did you hear about the deaf banker who got robbed? Neither did he. OUCH!

Q. What should you do if you meet a woman who doesn't like banker jokes?
A. If you take her on a date, don't not teller any.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I'd just laugh and search with them. – Unknown

Q. What is the new promotion the bakery is running?
A. Dollars to Donuts.

Q. What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar bill and a skinny hooker standing in front of the bank?
A. One's a phony buck.

Funny Money Point to Ponder: COINcidence or coincidence, isn't that rich?

Funny Money Groan of the Day: A rare coin broker claimed he had the best quality coins. But he didn't have proof.

Q. How much money does a skunk have?
A. One Scent.

Q. What is the name of the Asian banker with no friends?
A. Loan Lee.

Funny Money Point to Ponder: Isn't it ironic that only one company makes the game, Monopoly?

| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns, Money Funny! | Penny Jokes and Cents-Less Puns | 2 |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker Pick-Up Lines |

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