|
Banker
Humor, Funny Money Jokes, Cash Puns
Suffer
withdrawal symptoms with common cents humor, cents-less puns, and balanced
jokes.
Money Jokes, Banker Puns, Bucking Funny!
(Because Banker Puns and Priceless
Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream if Your Loan
is Pre-Approved!) |
Warning:
Sell Short at Your Own Risk! Broken bank jokes, counterfeit
humor, and bready funny puns ahead.
| Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital
Laughs and Interesting Humor | 2
| 3 | 4 | 5
| 6 | 7 | 8
|
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns |
Penny Jokes, Cents-Less Puns | 2
| Accountant Jokes |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller
Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker
Pick-Up Lines |
Q.
How did the tight rope walking banker die?
A. He lost his balance.
Q.
Why did the blonde throw a quarter at her boyfriend's head?
A. She was trying to knock some cents into him.
Money
Funny Pun: Coin tosses are a real head turners.
More
Bad Investment News: The karoake bank is now for sale and
is going for a song! |
Q.
Which numismatic jokes are the worst?
A. The ones that make no cents!
Funny
Money Groan of the Day: Do bad coin puns score with a rim
shot, or would that put you on edge?
Banking
Point to Ponder: Why is it that all you can buy for a dollar
these days is nonsense?
Banker
Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl,
I know how to add extra value to your account.
|
Q.
When does a doe need money?
A. When she doesn't have a buck.
Q.
Why should you always keep a few quarters in your pocket?
A. In case you need them because that's just common cents.
Q.
What happened after the dummy robbed a bank?
A. Police are questioning a ventriloquist who may have had
a hand in it.
Banker
Pick-Up Line: Hey Baby,
I go long on naked options. |
Q. What does maize use for money?
A. Cornbread.
Q.
What is a coin collector's favorite breakfast cereal?
A. Wheaties.
A
chef's girlfriend bet him a hundred dollars that he couldn't
build a car out of spaghetti. You should've seen the look
on her face when he drove pasta.
Bakery
Baron Pick-Up Line:
Hey Girl, I'd like to hire you and put you on my payroll!
|
Q.
Why didn't the collector buy the rare coin from the dealer?
A. Because the vendor didn't have the proof.
Q.
Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill along with the
nickel?
A. Because the quarter had more cents!
Q.
What did the plumber say about the clog?
A. It's not worth a plug nickel.
Money
Making Point to Ponder: Are overworked coin makers at the
Denver Mint the only people who are likely to strike because
they want to make less money?
|
Q.
What is the richest kind of air?
A. A billionaire.
Son:
Mom can I have twenty bucks?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Son: Well, isn't that what M.O.M stands for, isn't
it?
Q.
What do you call coins flying through the jet stream?
A. The winds of change.
Have
you heard about the new eco car designed by a miser? It
stops on a dime, and then picks it up. |
Q.
How can you tell a blonde is not a Broncos fan?
A. She can't understand why all those guys are beating each
other up over 25 cents.
Q.
What's the difference between the Denver Broncos and a dollar
bill?
A. You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill!
Go Broncos!
The
air compressor at the gas station used to be a quarter and
now it's two bucks. That's inflation for you.
Q.
Which US president never went to jail?
A. Lincoln. He's in a cent. |
Q.
What did the coin maker say about his found penny after
he dropped it?
A. It just a little tender.
A
guy went to the ATM and an old woman asked if he could check
her balance. So, he pushed her over. OUCH!
Q.
What did one dollar said to the other?
A. Our love does not makes cents – it makes dollars.
Accountant
Pick-Up Line: Babe,
you can list me as a deduction, because I am dependent on
your lovin'.
|
A
salesman approached a blonde and asked her if she'd like
to buy a pocket calculator. The blonde replied, "No
thanks, I already know how many pockets I have."
Q.
Why did the banker buy ten tons of NaCl?
A. Because he's known for his compound interest and good
table manners.
Evils
of Money Factoid: A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours
and 'taint mine!
Q.
What do you call a gossipy bank employee?
A. A storyteller. |
Q.
What happened to the banking tycoon who fell overboard from
his yacht during a typhoon?
A. He was okay because he knew how to float a loan.
Q.
Why do bankers like to watch porno movies backward?
A. They like the part where the hooker gives the money back!
Banker
Pick-Up Line: I have
an emergency fund, and I want to rescue you tonight! |
Q.
Why did the blonde put her money in the freezer?
A. She wanted cold, hard cash!
Q.
Why do heart transplant recipients prefer bankers' hearts?
A. Because they've hardly been used.
Banking
Pick-Up Line: Babe,
how about we swap some liquid assets?
Q.
What is it called when you toss seven coins, and they all
land on the same side?
A. A coincidence.
|
Q.
Why did the blonde go broke?
A. Because she had no cents.
Q.
How are a counterfeit coin and a rabid rabbit alike?
A. One is bad money and the other is mad bunny.
Banking
Pick-Up Line: Hey Girl,
can you help me balance my sheets?
Q.
Why is the penny the most plentiful coin in circulation?
A. Because it's common cents. |
|
Money Jokes, Coiny Puns, Capital Laughs
and Interesting Humor | 2
| 3 | 4 | 5
| 6 | 7 | 8
|
| Coin Jokes, Numismatic Puns |
Penny Jokes, Cents-Less Puns | 2
| Accountant Jokes |
| Banker Jokes, Banking Puns, and Teller
Laughs | Financial Jokes | Banker
Pick-Up Lines |
| On the Job Jokes | Police
Puns | Criminal Jokes | Superhero
Jokes | Painful Groaner Jokes |

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