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Q. Why do aliens visit the Mile-High City? A. Hey, I'm not getting paid for these tourism ads!
Q. Why did the traffic light turn red? A. You would too, if you had to change in the middle of the road!
Q. Why did a vampire drive on the highway? A. He was told it was a main artery!
Q. Where does Batman winter in Florida? A. Boca Baton!

Q. What do you do when you see a space man? A. Park In It!
Q. Why doesn't a pickle like to travel? A. Because it's a jarring experience!

 


Road Jokes, Touring Puns, Driving Humor
Get away and trip out with funny travel jokes, destination humor, and accidental tourist puns.

Travel Jokes, Trip Puns, Vacation Laughs
(Because Trippin' Jokes and Funny Humor Destinations Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream While You're on Vacation!)
Warning: Follow the Signs with Caution! In tents humor, accidental jokes, and cruising puns ahead.
| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Jokes | Air Travel Puns |
| Road Trip Jokes and Traffic Humor | Car Jokes | Auto Mechanic Puns | Colorado Tourist Jokes |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Travel Pick-Up Lines | Sea Trip Jokes | 2 | Space Travel Jokes | Time Travel Jokes | Time Puns |

Q. What do pig sailors yell when they stop the ship? A. Oinkers Aweigh!Q. Why did the taxi driver go 60 MPH? A. His passenger was talking a mile a minute!Q. Where do crayons go on vacation? A. Colorful Color-ado!

Q. Why did the cops pull over a pig?
A. Because he was a road hog!

Q. What kind of motor vehicle do hogs drive?
A. Pig-up trucks!

Q. Why was the squirrel late for work?
A. Traffic was nuts.

Q. What is the technical term for a group of cars?
A. A Clutch!

Race Car Driver Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, would you like to blow my headgasket?

Q. Who earns a living by driving the customers away?
A. A taxi driver!

Q. What is the opposite of a dirty destination?
A. A clean getaway.

Q. What do you call a test flight that's about to crash?
A. An Error Plane.

Q. What is the name of the new line of men's antiperspirant deodorant inspired by race car drivers?
A. Pit Stop!

Q. Where do Easter eggs like to go on vacation?
A. New Yolk City.

Q. How do Coloradans treat tourists from the Pine Tree State?
A. They always mind their Maine-ers.

Q. Why did Mickey Mouse take a vacation trip into space?
A. He wanted to visit Pluto.

Q. What happened when the frog's car broke down?
A. It had to be toad.

Q. Which Colorado ski rea do locksmiths prefer? A. Keystone!Happy Sigh Day!The Vikings were always glad to be home after a long rowed trip!

Q. What do you call an albino clairvoyant master hypnotist from San Francisco?
A. Super pallid Cali mystic expert at hypnosis!

Q. Where do cows stay when they're on vacation?
A. In a moo-tel.

Q. Which kind of cars do cafe cooks drive?
A. Chef-rolets.

Unanswered Riddle: How can you learn to drive a stick-shift if you can't find a manual?

Q. Which kind of music does your automobile prefer on long road trips?
A. Car Tunes.

Q. Which California city is the most musical?
A. Sant Harmonica.

Q. What is an autobiography?
A. A car's life story, as recorded on its dash cam.

With the rise of self-driving cars, it's only a matter of time until we hear a country song where the guy's truck leaves him, too.

Q. What did explorers call the western hemisphere when it was finally mapped?
A. The Knew World.

Q. Which country is completely obsessed by the sea?
A. Row-mainia.

Q. Which veggies are seldom served aboard cruise ships?
A. Leeks.

Q. What kind of car can drive over water?
A. Any car, as long as it's on a bridge!

Q. Why do aliens visit the Mile-High City? A. Denver is just a little closer to home!Ape says: I bought a pair of hiking boots in Colorado from a drug dealer! I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!Monkey telling banana jokes: Why did te kid keep slipping off his bike? A. It had a banana seat!

Q. Why did the traffic signal turn green?
A. It wanted to GO eco-friendly.

Colorado Tourism Slogan: Weed like to welcome you.

Air Travel Point to Ponder: If you joined the Mile High Club solo, is that considered a High Jacking?

Q. What do you call humorous mistakes in speech by folks in Oklahoma?
A. Soonerisms.

Q. What happens when your vacation campsite is smaller than you expected?
A. A Tents Situation!

Colorado point to ponder: Why is it called Tourist Season if folks in Colorado Springs can't shoot at them?

Q. Where do hornets like to go on vacation?
A. Stingapore.

Q. What happened after inflatable tires were first introduced?
A. They quickly gained traction.

Q. Why do chicken coops have two doors?
A. Because if they had four doors, they'd be a sedan.

Unanswered Riddle: Why do children in the back seat of a car cause accidents, but accidents in the back seat cause children?

Q. What kind of car does a Jedi drive?
A. A To-Yoda!

Q. What do your car's four tires call the spare in the trunk?
A. A fifth wheel.

Railway that ships potatoes and yams nation wide: Yam TrakQ. Why was the cardiologist able to walk to work? A. Because he lived in the heart of the city!Martini says: I was drinking at the bar, so I thook the bus home. Problem is, I've never driven a bus before!

Q. What is a twip?
A. It's what a wabbit goes on when he wides a twain!

Q. Why did the railroad construction fall behind schedule?
A. Because they needed to get back on track.

Q. How do trains hear?
A. They have engine-ears.

Q. What is a vampire's least favorite city?
A. Philadelphia, because it's always sunny there.

Q. Which Utah locale is known for folks slinging nasty remarks around?
A. Insult Lake City.

Q. What do you call it when a witch becomes ill while on vacation?
A. Broom sick.

Q. Why do casinos on the strip make so much money?
A. Because that's Loss Vegas!

Q. Which anti-anxiety drug is manufactured in Southern California?
A. San Fernando Valium.

Q. What do you call somebody who just moved from Portland.
A. An Oregon Transplant!

Q. Why was the blonde just standing in the middle of the busy intersection?
A. The Walk sign changed to Don't Walk, so she just stopped.

An Audi, a Lexus, and a Cadillac roll into a bar. The bartender looks at them and says, "What? Is this some kind of a joke?"

Q. Which driver does not need a driver's license?
A. A Screwdriver. YUM!

Q. What do you call swampy plant and animal life in Louisiana?
A. Bayou Diversity.

You might be from Colorado if you refer to tourists as pilgrims or turkeys.

Q. Which Big Apple hockey team has members from northern Scotland?
A. The New York Highlanders.

Q. What kind of cars do Santa's elves drive? A. Toy-otas!Q. What kind of bike does Santa Claus drive? A. Holly Davidson!Q. How does an elf get to Santa's workshop? A. By Icicle!

Q. What kind of car does a Jedi drive?
A. A Toy Yoda!

Q. What do you get if you cross a jet plane and a magician?
A. A flying sorcerer.

Q. Which cellphone service provider is located in Birmingham's state?
A. Mobile Alabama.

Q. Why was the USA flag changed in 1960?
A. Because Alaska and Hawaii were rising stars.

USA Road Travel Tip of the Day: You can see Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore, if you head for the hills.

Q. Which southwestern town boasts hosts of citizens who own a pair of graceful pond birds?
A. Two Swan, Arizona.

Q. Where does Father Christmas go on his summer vacation?
A. Santa Cruz.

Unanswered Riddle: Why is the best way to avoid holiday traffic to just stay home?

Q. If you decide to just pack up and move, why would Tulsa or Norman be a good choice?
A. Because they're both OK cities.

Q. Why was exploring Alaska in the 1800s so difficult?
A. It just came with the territory.

Q. What is the name of the final roadside stop to get an eggy treat?
A. Custard's Last Stand.

Q. Why did the Mexican guy take anti-anxiety medication?
A. For Hispanic attacks.

Q. What did the Florida beach blonde say after hearing Oslo is a cold vacation destination?
A. There's Norway I'd ever go there!

Q. Which Florida resort town has many residents who love singing sacred hymns of praise?
A. Psalm Beach.

Q. What has four wheels and flies?
A. A garbage truck.

Q. What were the most inferior man-made structures ever built?
A. The Seven Blunders of the World.

Q. Which state is home to Xenia and Zanesville, the most populous U.S. cities starting with the letters X and Z?
A. Ohio.

Q. Who wrote the book, Got Hit By a Car?
A. Jay Walk Err.

| Travel Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | World Traveler Jokes | British Travel Jokes | Time Travel | 2 |
| Road Trip Jokes and Traffic Humor | Car Puns | Auto Mechanic Jokes | Space Travel Puns |
| Air Travel Humor and Mile High Club Jokes | Gnome Travel Jokes | Sea Trip Humor | 2 |
| Cross the Road Jokes | Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? | Sci-Fi Crossed the Road | 2 |
| Colorado Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | Denver | 2 | 3 |
| You Might Be From Colorado If... | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Tourism | Mountains | 2 | 3 | Hipsters |
| Painful Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |

PainfulPuns Home
You've lasted this far, so here's even more destination laughter,
visiting
jokes, and accidental painful puns that'll drive you crazy:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Biker Gnome Puns | Blonde Jokes | Brew Pub Puns | Chef Jokes | Cocktail Puns | Fashion Puns | Fitness Jokes |
| Hair Jokes | Hipster Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | Music Puns | Outer Space Puns | Pick-Up Lines | Pirate Puns |
| Psychic Jokes | Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Sports Jokes | Weather Puns | Weed Jokes | Weekend Jokes |

Edible Puns, Fun with Food Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Holiday Puns, Silly Seasonal Jokes

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