Jokes, Doctor Puns, MD LOLs, Healthy Laughs
medicate your funny bone with sick doctor jokes, viral humor, and contagious
Proceed with Caution! Check up on funny medical jokes, healthy humor,
and sick doctor puns ahead.
Doctor Jokes, Funny Medical Puns, Sick Puns
(Because Feverish Puns and Healthy Laughs Could Never
Be TOO Mainstream When You're The Organ
Jokes, Nurse Puns | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | 7
| Germ Jokes | Sick
Come-Ons | Dentist Puns |
| Surgeon Jokes | Eye
Doctor Jokes | Eye Puns |
Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Blood
| Psychiatrist Jokes | Optometry
Jokes | Ophthalmology Jokes
| Optician Puns | Glasses
| Futuristic Medical Jokes | Urologist
LOLs | Constipation Jokes
| Diarrhea Puns | Brain
Pun of the Day: Losing your head in an emergency is a no
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
A. Because it needed to be checked out.
guy woke up after surgery and screamed, "Doctor, I
can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know,
we had to amputate your arms."
What do surgeons and church musicians do when they hang
out together on Sunday afternoons?
A. They talk about organs.
Who is Transylvania's most famous eye doctor?
A. Count Macula!
What did the eye doctor say to the zombie during the exam?
A. Please don't roll your eyes toward me!
Why did Satan visit his eye doctor?
A. Because the jokes were cornea than Hell!
Moan of the Day: A boy was born without eye lids, so surgeons
circumcised him and grafted the foreskin on. Doctors report
the boy is fine, but a little cock-eyed.
What do ophthalmologists say about painful eye puns?
A. These jokes are so eye-ronic!
Fact of the Day: Eye doctors truly are men of vision!
What do you call an eye doctor who lives on an island in
A. An Optical Aleutian.
What would you call it if Brad Pitt had butt reduction surgery?
A. Bottomless Pitt.
Q. Why did the shoe go to the doctor?
A. It needed to be heeled.
Point to Ponder: If your doctor just keeps referring you
to other doctors, how can you be sure he's actually a doctor
and not a booking agent?
What is it called when a surgeon slips and cuts off your
right butt cheek?
A. A half-assed operation.
I'd like a second opinion.
Doctor: Of course. I understand. Come back tomorrow.
You know dear, without your glasses you look like the handsome
young man I married.
Husband: Honey, without my glasses you look pretty darned
Doctor: You need to stop masturbating so often.
Patient: Why? Will I go blind?
Eye Doctor: No, but it's making the other patients very
What do a plastic surgeon and a chicken farmer have in common?
A. Both can supply big breasts.
How many orthopedists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Why don't you just take out the socket? You're not using
What do you call two orthopedic doctors reading an EKG?
A. A double blind study.
Why did the plastic sugeon apply for a programmer position?
A. Because he heard they needed back end development.
When does a doctor get mad?
A. When he runs out of patients.
Why do optometrists like PainfulPuns
Eye Doctor Jokes?
A. It's a fun web sight for insiteful humor!
Why can't an eye doctor count to 3?
A. Because they always get stuck on 1, or 2, or 1, or 2...
What did the eye doctor comedian call his comedy club act?
A. A Cornea-copia of Jokes.
What did the eye doc say to the office receptionist when
she threatened to quit?
A. Please stye with me!
now as an intern, the cutup doc keeps them all
What is the Christian plastic surgeon's specialty?
A. Faith lifts.
What is minor surgery?
A. Any operation performed on somebody else!
How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to change the bulb, and one to remove the socket.
Why did the psychic go to her eye doctor?
A. She was having a hard time seeing into the future.
Why did the seer visit his eye doctor?
A. Because he needed his visions checked.
How did the intuitive doctor know what was wrong with his
A. He used his sick sense.
Medical Groan: A guy didn't believe that the chiropractor
could ease his back problems, but now he stands corrected.
Doctor Jokes and Nurse Puns | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 | 6
| 7 | Germ
Jokes | Dentist Jokes | 2
| 3 | 4
| 5 |
How does becoming a physicist save lives?
A. It keeps some people out of medical school.
What is the difference between God and a med student?
A. God doesn't think he's a doctor.
What do you call a chiropractor who really enjoys his job?
A. A crack addict.
Why did the doctor break up with his chiropractor girlfriend?
A. Because she was too munipulative.
How many MDVIP doctors does it take to screw n a light bulb?
A. None. MDVIP doctors don't screw light bulbs, they screw
patients out of a minimum of $1800 per year on top
of their health insurance.
the elephant doctor will never forget how to spell that.
guy ran into his dermatologist at a bar. Doctor asked, "Did
that mudpack I gave your wife improve your wife's appearance?"
Guy replied, "Yeah, but it kept falling off."
What does the doctor, who is stuck in Denver, describe a
A. When you get sick at the airport.
Which is the funniest medical position?
A. Chiropractor, because they always crack you up!
How many US doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Sorry, your health plan doesn't cover that procedure.
I keep seeing double.
Eye Doctor: Well, just sit in that chair.
Patient: Which one?
Insight: My earliest childhood memory is going to the eye
doctor when I was six. Everything before that is a mere
Which kind of medication makes you look down on your eye
A. Eye drops.
How many emergency care clinic physicians does it take to
screw n a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it will cost you ten times the amount your
primary care doctor would charge you for the visit.
eye doctors never retire. They merely lose their focus.
| Surgeon Jokes | Urologist
Jokes | Constipation Jokes
| Diarrhea Jokes | Blood
Jokes | 2 |
| How Many Doctors Does It Take To
Change a Light Bulb? | Sick Medical Jokes,
Hospital Humor |
| Shrink Jokes, Psychiatrist Jokes, Crazy
Funny | Addict Jokes, Rehab Puns
| Brain Jokes | 2
| Dopey Pharmaceutical Jokes | Futuristic
Medical Jokes | Sci-Fi Doctor Jokes
| Dr. Who Jokes |
| Eye Doctor Jokes and Optometrist Humor
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | Eye
Puns | Sick Pick-Up Lines |
| Optometry Jokes | Ophthalmology
Jokes | Optician Puns | Glasses
Jokes | Old MDs Never Die |
| Body Jokes | Human
Anatomy Jokes | Inner Body Puns,
Back Jokes | Butt Jokes | Heart
| Male Body Jokes, Viagra Jokes | Female
Body Jokes | Chest Jokes, Pec Puns,
Breast Humor |
| Head Humor | Face
Jokes | Ear Puns | Nose
Jokes | Neck Puns | Ear,
Nose, Throat Humor |
| Mouth Jokes | Hand
Jokes, Finger Puns, Arm Humor | Leg
Jokes | Foot Jokes | Belly
survived this far, so here's
more medicated humor, infectious
and sickening painful puns
to further addict you to medicinal
Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...
Bartender Jokes | Cannabis
Puns | Cemetery Jokes |
Chef Jokes | Daily
Groans | Diet Puns | Elephant
| Gym Jokes | Lawyer
Jokes | Light Bulb Jokes | Magician
Jokes | Money Groans | Music
Puns | Psychic Jokes |
| Religion Jokes | Sci-Fi
Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports
Jokes | Undead Jokes | Vampire
Puns | Vegan Jokes |
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