Old Milk Maids Never Die, They Just Lose Their Whey.   PainfulPuns.com - Old Never Die Puns, Old Age Humor, Old Jokes!

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Killer Comedy, Good Old Jokes, Old Age Humor
Pass over to well-aged humor, old jokes, and deadly funny puns that'll kick off your day.

Old Never Die Jokes, Bury Bad Puns, Deadly LOLs
('Cause Lively Young Jokes Are TOO Mainstream and Only The Good Die Young. But, Old Painful Puns Never Die!)
Warning: Proceed With Due Caution! Killer comedy, retirement humor, fatal laughs and deadly puns ahead.
| Old Never Die Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Zombie Joke and Undead Puns | Immortal Vampire Jokes |
| Deadly Cemetery Jokes and Graveyard Puns | Mummy Jokes | Ghost Jokes | Cannibal Puns |
| Profession Jokes, On the Job Humor, Occupation Puns, Work Laughs and Funny Career Jokes |

Gorilla Says: Old bankers never die. They just pass the buck!Q. What did the brain say during its retirement speech? A Thanks for the memories!Ape Chef Asks: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? How sad he ran out of thyme!

Q. Why don't old bankers ever die?
A. Because they never lose interest and they can afford to be cryogenically frozen.

Old assets never die. They just depreciate.

Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.

Q. How did the old accountant die?
A. He closed the books.

Old bookkeepers never die. They just lose their figures.

Old credit cards never die, they just expire.

Q. Do old psychiatrists ever die?
A. No, they just shrink away.

Old deans never die. They just lose their faculties.

Old programmers never die; they just lose their memory.

Q. What happens when old anthropologists die?
A. They become another piece of history.

Old fathers never die. They just become grandfathers.

Q. What caused the death of the old clock maker?
A. He ran out of time.

Old watchmakers never die; they just unwind.

Old golfers never die. They just lose their drive.

Great Green Beyond Fact of the Day: Old golfers never die. They just keep putting along.

Old golfers never die, but they do lose their balls.

Speaking ill of the dead is a grave mistake.Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? His wife is still mourning. Cheese still not over it!Scary Pun: Cannibals Like to Meat People.

Q. Do old pilots ever die?
A. No, they just move on to a higher plane.

Old pilots never die. They just buzz off.

Q. How did the old jet pilot die?
A. He just took off.

Q. Why did the old train engineer pass away?
A. He became de-railed.

Q. Do old cheesemongers ever die?
A. Nah, they just smell that way.

Q. What was the cause of the old yoyo dieter's death?
A. She just waisted away.

Old fashion designers might die, but they do go out in style!

Old millennials who don't use deodorant never die; they just smell that way!

Toothless Grin of the Day: Old cannibals never die. They just go vegan.

Q. Do old zombie actors ever die?
A. Yes, they sometimes drop a part.

Evil old cobblers never die; they just lose their souls.

Q. Do old ministers ever die?
A. No, they just get put out to pastor.

Klingon version of Gone With the Wind: After all, tomorrow is another good day to die!Q. Why do they put fences around graveyards? A. People are dying to get in!Hulk Asks: What do you call a killer cannabis comedian? A. The Grim Reefer!

Q. How did the old NFL punter die?
A. He just kicked off.

Old quarterbacks never die, they just fade back and pass away!

Q. What happens right before old football players die?
A. They go into the end zone.

Old hockey players never die; they just achieve their final goal.

Q. How did the old gymnast die?
A. She just flipped out.

Q. How did the old Tae Bo instructor pass away?
A. He just punched out.

Q. How did the old Judo master die?
A. He just flipped out.

Old wrestlers never die. They just lose their grip.

Old soccer players never die, but they do lose their kick.

Old swimmers never die; they just kick off.

Deadly Groan of the Day: Old beekeepers never die. They just buzz off.

Old green-thumb gardeners never die. They just go to seed.

Q. Why did the old owl die?
A. Because he just didn't give a hoot.

Old river rafters never die, they just go with the flow.

Q. How did the old bowler die?
A. He ended up in the gutter.

Q. Why don't they know where Mozart is burried? A. Because he's Haydn?What kind of flowers do you give to King Tut? Chrysanthemummies.Q. what is a serial killer's favorite day of the month? A. Fri-die the 13th!

Old composers never die, they just decompose.

Old concert violinists never die, they just become unstrung.

Q. Do old trombone players ever die?
A. No, they just go down the tubes.

Old trombonists never die. They just slide away.

Old musicians never die, they just get played out.

Old saxaphones never die because they're so jazzed up.

Q. Do old tourists in Egypt ever die?
A. No, they just go senile.

Grumpy old tourists never die, but they just don't come back.

Q. Do old Bohemians ever die?
A. No, they just Czech out.

Q. Do old Europeans ever die?
A. No, but they do become incontinent.

Q. How did the old guy in Buffalo, NY die?
A. He just shuffled off.

Q. Why did the old drug addict die?
A. He just got wasted away.

Q. Do old police detectives ever die?
A. Nobody knows, because they're always under cover.

Old police officers never die, they just cop out.

Q. What happens when old burglars die?
A. They just steal away.

Q. How did the old pyromaniac die?
A. His flame went out.

Q. Do old spies ever die?
A. Nobody knows because they leave no trace.

| Old Never Die Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | Zombie Joke and Undead Puns | Immortal Vampire Jokes |
| Deadly Cemetery Jokes and Graveyard Puns | Mummy Jokes | Ghost Jokes | Cannibal Puns |
| Skeleton Jokes | 2 | Monster Jokes | Haunted House Humor | Werewolf Jokes | Haunting Music |
| Profession Jokes | Astronaut Jokes | Baker Jokes | Banker Jokes | Chef Jokes | Chemist Jokes |
| Doctor Jokes | Electrician Jokes | Farmer Jokes | Lawyer Jokes | Police Jokes | Plumber Puns |


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| Religion Jokes | Rodent Jokes | Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | UFO Jokes |

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