Q. Why don't old bankers ever die?
A. Because they never lose interest and they can afford to be cryogenically frozen.

Old assets never die. They just depreciate.

Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.

Q. How did the old accountant die?
A. He closed the books.

Old bookkeepers never die. They just lose their figures.

Old credit cards never die, they just expire.

Q. Do old psychiatrists ever die?
A. No, they just shrink away.

Old deans never die. They just lose their faculties.

Old programmers never die; they just lose their memory.

Q. What happens when old anthropologists die?
A. They become another piece of history.

Old fathers never die. They just become grandfathers.

Q. What caused the death of the old clock maker?
A. He ran out of time.

Old watchmakers never die; they just unwind.

Old golfers never die. They just lose their drive.

Great Green Beyond Fact of the Day: Old golfers never die. They just keep putting along.

Old golfers never die, but they do lose their balls.

Q. Do old pilots ever die?
A. No, they just move on to a higher plane.

Old pilots never die. They just buzz off.

Q. How did the old jet pilot die?
A. He just took off.

Q. Why did the old train engineer pass away?
A. He became de-railed.

Q. Do old cheesemongers ever die?
A. Nah, they just smell that way.

Q. What was the cause of the old yoyo dieter's death?
A. She just waisted away.

Old fashion designers might die, but they do go out in style!

Old millennials who don't use deodorant never die; they just smell that way!

Toothless Grin of the Day: Old cannibals never die. They just go vegan.

Q. Do old zombie actors ever die?
A. Yes, they sometimes drop a part.

Evil old cobblers never die; they just lose their souls.

Q. Do old ministers ever die?
A. No, they just get put out to pastor.

Q. How did the old NFL punter die?
A. He just kicked off.

Old quarterbacks never die, they just fade back and pass away!

Q. What happens right before old football players die?
A. They go into the end zone.

Old hockey players never die; they just achieve their final goal.

Q. How did the old gymnast die?
A. She just flipped out.

Q. How did the old Tae Bo instructor pass away?
A. He just punched out.

Q. How did the old Judo master die?
A. He just flipped out.

Old wrestlers never die. They just lose their grip.

Old soccer players never die, but they do lose their kick.

Old swimmers never die; they just kick off.

Deadly Groan of the Day: Old beekeepers never die. They just buzz off.

Old green-thumb gardeners never die. They just go to seed.

Q. Why did the old owl die?
A. Because he just didn't give a hoot.

Old river rafters never die, they just go with the flow.

Q. How did the old bowler die?
A. He ended up in the gutter.

Old composers never die, they just decompose.

Old concert violinists never die, they just become unstrung.

Q. Do old trombone players ever die?
A. No, they just go down the tubes.

Old trombonists never die. They just slide away.

Old musicians never die, they just get played out.

Old saxaphones never die because they're so jazzed up.

Q. Do old tourists in Egypt ever die?
A. No, they just go senile.

Grumpy old tourists never die, but they just don't come back.

Q. Do old Bohemians ever die?
A. No, they just Czech out.

Q. Do old Europeans ever die?
A. No, but they do become incontinent.

Q. How did the old guy in Buffalo, NY die?
A. He just shuffled off.

Q. Why did the old drug addict die?
A. He just got wasted away.

Q. Do old police detectives ever die?
A. Nobody knows, because they're always under cover.

Old police officers never die, they just cop out.

Q. What happens when old burglars die?
A. They just steal away.

Q. How did the old pyromaniac die?
A. His flame went out.

Q. Do old spies ever die?
A. Nobody knows because they leave no trace.

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