Q. How do old computer programmers die?
A. They just byte the dust.

Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.

Q. Why did the programmer's old computer just crash and die?
A. Due to a bad driver.

When I die, I want my headstone to be a WiFi hotspot. That way, people will visit more often.

Old computer programmers never die. They just go data way ---->

Q. How did the old hacker die?
A. In a phishing accident.

Q. How does a hacker vampire kill its victims?
A. With a kill-o-byte.

Q. How did another old hacker die?
A. He caught a virus while on a phishing trip. Nobody went to his funeral.

Q. How do old hackers die?
A. They just go to bits, we hope!

Old webmasters never die. They just go 404 not found.

Old hardware engineers never die, they just lose their drive.

Old computers never diee because they always come through when the chips are down!

Q. What is the difference between tech support and an armed mass murderer?
A. One specializes in trouble-shooting, and the other is a troubled shooter.

Old SEO experts never die. They just log out, cache in their chips, force quit, byte the dust, lose their memory, go to bits, crash, and don't C well...

Q. Do old Twitter Tweeps ever die?
A. No, but they do log out.

User: Siri, where's the best place to hide a body?
Siri: On the second page of a Google search.

Q. Which tech device does Super Mario use to communicate with the dead?
A. Lou-ouija board.

Q. What should you do if die drung a Nintendo game?
A. Ask for a Wii match!

Q. Why did the smartphone go in to see the doctor?
A. Its old battery was dying.

Q. What do web programmers call an old webmaster's obituary?
A. A 404 message.

Q. Why doesn't the Pope's computer ever crash and die?
A. 'Cause it has a screen savior.

Q. Why did the old software developer go broke and die?
A. Because he used up all his cache.

Old computer keyboards never die. They just lose CTRL.

Q. What killed the hard-working old computer keyboard?
A. It put in too many shifts.

Q. Why did the old desktop computer go to the doctor?
A. It thought it had a terminal illness.

Q. Why do old physicians all use Windows computers?
A. 'Cause an Apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Old computers never die, but sometimes they just don't respond.

Q. How did the old laptop die from alcohol poisoning?
A. It took too many screen shots!

Q. Do old laptops ever die?
A. No, they just run away.

Old chemists never die, they just lose their refluxes.

Q. What did the morgue do with the dead chemist?
A. Barium.

Old scientists never die; they just go down the test tubes.

Old chemistry teachers never die, they just fail to react.

Q. What was engraved on the dead robot's tombstone?
A. Rust In Peace.

Q. What do programmers call a computer virus?
A. A terminal disease.

Old desktop printers never die. They're just not the type.

Q. Why did the old laptop die after it finally got home from work?
A. 'Cause it had a hard drive.

Q. Why don't old computer monitors ever die?
A. 'Cause they have screensavers.

Old Windows computers never die, but they do force quit.

Q. Why did the burned out tech geek tell his shrink that he feels like a flashlight with a dead battery?
A. He claimed his inner light died a long time ago.

Q. What do you call it if you knocked off two pigeons with an unmanned flying device?
A. Killing two birds with one drone!

Powerful Point to Ponder: Why don't we find recharging old dead batteries revolting?

Q. Where do gun owners buy ammunition online?
A. Ammo-zone.moc.

Old electricians never die. They just do it until it Hz.

Q. Why don't electricians ever die young?
A. Because they're just so well grounded.

Q. Why don't old electricians ever die?
A. Because they just revolt.

Old electricians never die. They just lose contact.

Q. What happened to the thug who beat up some guy with his dead cell phone?
A. He was charged with battery.

Q. How much should dead batteries cost?
A. Nothing, 'cause they're free of charge!

Patient: Doc, I get really angry when my phone battery dies. What can I do?
Shrink: I suggest you find an outlet.

Old atoms never die. They just decay.

Q. Why did the burned out guy tell his shrink that he feels like a flashlight with a dead battery?
A. He claimed his inner light died a long time ago.

Did you hear about the guy whose watch batteries died? He wound up at a clock shop!

Q. How do you know an old battery still has some hot life left in it?
A. It teases you to test it to get you to lick it.

Point to Ponder: Why is it that flashlights are such a convenient place to store dead batteries?

I just gave all my dead batteries away ­ free of charge.

Q. How do you pick out a dead battery in a pile of good ones?
A. It's the one with no spark.

Old light bulbs never die. They just blink out.

Q. How many computer programmers does it take to change a dead light bulb?
A. None. It's a hardware problem.

Q. Why shouldn't you be sad if your flashlight battery dies?
A. Because you're de-lighted!

Q. Why is the life of a battery so brutal?
A. 'Cause either you're working, or you're dead..

Old radios never die. They just stop receiving.

Q. What did the cyborg say to the dead, disassembled old robot?
A. Rust in pieces.

Old voice mail never dies; it just doesn't answer.

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