Old Cooks Never Die, They Just Get Deranged   PainfulPuns.com - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:

What did an astronaut see in his skillet? Unidentified frying objects!
Monster Chef Asks: What do you call a chef who won't try dishes made by other chefs? A. Full of himself!
Q. Where do burgers go to hook up? A. A meat ball!
Chimp Chef Asks: Did you hear about the Italian chef injured in a pizza accident? Now, he cannoli do so much!
Q. How do you murder a salad? A. Go for the carrot-id artery!
Gorilla Chef Asks: Where can you expect to find a stirring message? A. In a recipe!


Delectable Puns, Chef Jokes, Fun Foodie Humor
Sample savory humor, delicious puns, funny food jokes and tasty laughs you're hungering for!

Edible Puns, Delicious Humor, Cheesy Food Jokes
(Because Cafeteria Food Fights Could Never Be Mainstream Enough for Cheese Eaters or Cheesy Joke Lovers!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Unpalatable puns and underdone food jokes may cause nausea or heartburn.
| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Chef Jokes | Italian Food | Pasta | Pizza | Restaurant | Waiter | Deli | Tex-Mex | Soup | Herb |
| Butcher | Steak | Burger | Hot Dog | BBQ | Beef | Pork | Poultry | Egg | Seafood | Condiment |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Pepper Jokes | Pickle Puns | Potato | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry | Ice Cream |
| Baker Jokes | Bread | Butter | Dessert | Pie | Cookie, Candy | Beverage | Coffee | Milk | Soda |

Coffee Joke: In This Man Cave, Coffee Is Called "Break Fluid"Crusty, ill-tempered baker was a scone's throw from becoming toast.I bet my butcher $50 he couldn't reach meat on the top shelf. He said, "No. Those steaks are too high."

Q. How are men like coffee?
A. The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night.

Q. Why shouldn't you discuss coffee in polite company?
A. It can make for a strong and heated debate.

Star Wars Jitter of the Day: I like my coffee how I like my Death Star – huge, on the dark side, and strong enough to destroy planets.

Q. What is fat, hairy, and drinks a lot of coffee?
A. Java the Hutt.

Q. What did the Enterprise replicator say to Captain Kirk when he ordered coffee?
A. Beam me up, biscotti!

Q. What did they say about the old baker's favorite song?
A. It's a moldie, but a goodie.

Q. What did the butter say to the bread?
A. I'm on a roll!

Q. What was the warning at the bakery counter when all the loaves were moldy?
A. Bread Alert!

Q. Which kind of biscuits can fly?
A. The plain ones.

Q. What do bakers do every morning before leaving for work?
A. Make sure their bread is made.

Q. What do bakers call soft loaves of bread?
A. Tender ryes.

Q. Why was the T-bone steak such a terrible gossip?
A. It wasn't juicy enough.

I don't eat steak often, so when I do, it's a rare occasion.

S-A-L-A-D: That's a funny way to spell STEAK!

Slogan at the local meat market: A good butcher knows how to handle his meat.

Q. What do you call a bull that pleasures himself?
A. Beef-Strokin'-Off!

Q. Where do cowboys cooking beef steak feel right at home?
A. On the range.

Food Pick-Up Line: Do you work at Little Caesars? 'Cause you're hot and I'm ready!I used to be a butler, but decided that wasn't my cup of tea.Q. What is a Thesaurus' Favorite Dessert? A. Synonym Buns

Hog Wild Foodie Pick Up Line: Biker dude is hungering for a pizza her!

Q. What should you do if you find cheesy Italian pies unappetizing?
A. Give pizza chance!

Q. What does an Italian chef call a pizza with just peppers on it?
A. A Pepper Only Pizza.

Pizza jokes: They're all about delivery!

Q. What did the pizza say to the gorgeous topping?
A. I never sausage a beautiful smile.

Q. Want to hear another pizza joke?
A. Never mind, it's too cheesy.

Q. What is a ghost pirate's favorite kind of brewed beverage?
A. Boo Tea.

Coffee House Grind of the Day: Did you ever notice when you serve someone cold coffee, it makes them piping mad?

Jittery Java Thought of the Day: Coffee is the silent victim in your home because it gets mugged every day.

There are two types of people in this world: Those who love coffee at Starbucks, and liars.

Caffeinated Fact of the Day: Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all!

Roll right over that pun. Breader not miss the next joke.

Q. Why do we eat ice cream, cake, cookies and sweets when we're stressed?
A. Because Stressed spelled backward is Desserts!

Q. Why did the graham cracker pie crust go to the dentist?
A. Because it needed a filling.

Q. What do you call a guy who's abandoned his sugar-free diet?
A. A Desserter!

Q. What is a sure sign Fido got into tonight’s dessert?
A. Pudding on the dog.

Food Pick-Up Line: You must be a banana because I find you a peeling!Q. When do you go at red and stop at green? A. When you're eating a watermelonThe coffee tasted like mud because it was ground a few minutes ago.

Q. What is a banana's favorite pick-up line?
A. Yellow, You!

Q. What is the hippest kind of fruit?
A. A bae-nae-nae.

Q. Why didn't the banana yell Hi?
A. Because it could only yellow.

Q. What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
A. Mellow Yellow.

Q. What did the pastry chef say when a banana cream pie he made completely satisfies a tyrannical ruler?
A. It hit despot.

Did you miss that one on the state driver's license written exam, too?

Q. How did the watermelon farmer feel after getting a blue ribbon at the county fair?
A. Like a melon bucks!

Q. What do you call a serial killer watermelon?
A. A slaughter melon!

Chefs are pretty cleaver!

Q. Which R&B funk tribute band only plays in kitchens?
A. Earth, Wind, and Fryer!

Starbucks or Victoria's Secret: Which charges more per cup?

Q. What do you call a washed-up coffee grower?
A. A has bean.

Q. What is the technical name for coffee?
A. Break Fluid!

The worst part of waking up, from a nap, is Folger's in your lap!

Chef Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, you remind me of my spice cabinet because you've got a fine grind goin' on!

Food Joke: A man assaulted me with milk, cream, and butter. How Dairy!Java Joke: What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? SankaHave You Ever Tried to Eat a Clock? It's Very Time Consuming

Q. Why did this cow jump over the moon?
A. The farmer had cold hands.

Q. What do you get if you put a cow on a trampoline?
A. A milk shake.

Q. Why did the blonde farmer get a brown cow?
A. She wanted chocolate milk.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and Quackers!

Q. What is a zombie's favorite holiday beverage?
A. Egg noggin.

Q. What is the most jittery Beatles' song?
A. Latte Be.

Q. Why is Starbucks removing the trans-fat from their menu?
A. They want that Frappuccino to pad your ass without clogging your arteries.

Q. What happened when the blonde put coffee on a clear grass panel?
A. It was filtered beyond opacity.

Did you know it's a sin for a woman to make coffee? Yeah, in the Bible it says "He Brews."

Did you know that the Greek god, Pan, loved cooking utensils?

Did you hear about the fish chef? He has a lox on his plate...

Q. What is a salad chef's favorite novel?
A. War and Peas.

Q. What do you call it when a chef runs out of seafood for her famous chowder?
A. A clam-ity!

Q. What happened when the seafood chef tried to remove the gritty parts off his shrimp?
A. It was a devein attempt.

Workout Wisecrack: I love doing crunches: Doritos, popcorn, pretzels...

| Food Jokes, Foodie Humor | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Grocery Store Jokes |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes, Culinary Beats | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |

| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Waiter | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta | Take Out Food |
| Kitchen Gadget Jokes | Gourmet Grins | Dinner Jokes | Lunch LOLs | Nut Jokes | Old Chef LOLs |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Jokes |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Dessert Puns | 2 | Pie | Bread |Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |

PainfulPuns Home
You've sampled this much, so here's even more delicious humor, tasty jokes,
and inedible painful puns that'll satisfy your appetite for cheesy jokes:

More Painful Puns, Groaners Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Colorado Jokes | Craft Beer Jokes | Daily Puns | Farmer Jokes | Furniture Jokes | Gnome Joke! | Guy Jokes |
| Hipster Humor | Funny Money | Monkey Jokes | Music Jokes | Pirate Jokes | Psychic Jokes | Religion Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Gadget Puns | Timely Puns | Travel Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Garden Puns, Green Groaners Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Work Humor, Joking on the JobSharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2021 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.