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Q. What did a hamburger say to another hamburger in the bathroom? A. I musturd!
ET Chef Says: "No thanks, I'm a vegetarian" is a fun thing to say when somebody hands you their baby!
Q. What is a crappy chef's favorite thing to do? A Cut the cheese!
Q. How many pastry chefs does it take to make pie? A. 3.14, but it only takes one cow!

 


Fun Food Puns, Cook Humor, Restaurant Jokes
Nibble on delicious chef jokes, yummy cooking humor, and funny food puns to chew over.

Funny Food, Tasty Chef Humor, Edible Jokes
(Because Tossed Salad Bar Food Fights Could Never Be Mainstream Enough for Vegetarians or Vegans!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Distasteful puns, meaty jokes, and raw chef humor may cause indigestion.
| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Tasty Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Chef Jokes | Italian Food | Pasta Puns | Restaurant | Tex-Mex | Colorado Cuisine | Soup | Herb |
| Butcher | Deli | Burgers | Hot Dogs | BBQ | Beef | Pork | Poultry | Egg | Seafood | Condiment |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickle Puns | Pepper Jokes | Potato Puns | Salad Jokes | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry | Ice Cream |
| Baker Jokes | Bread | Butter | Cookie, Candy | Dessert Puns | Beverage | Coffee | Milk | Soda |

Have you heard of the garlic diet? You don't lose much weight, but from a distance your friends think you look thinner.Hulk Humor: I can't drink milk. I lactose genes needed to digest it.Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Food is out of this world, but there's no atmosphere.

Q. What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A. A salad shooter.

Q. What does the host of a TV cooking competition say to begin the food fighting?
A. Lettuce Begin!

Dieting Point to Ponder: Can a successful dieter win the Nobelly Prize?

Q. How can you tell if a witch is on a diet?
A. All her food is potion-controlled.

Q. What do you get if you cross a cow and a duck?
A. Milk and Quackers.

Q. What do you get if you put a cow on a trampoline?
A. A milk shake.

Q. Why do milk monsters walk funny?
A. 'Cause they lactose!

Q. Where do Russians get their milk?
A. From Mos-cows!

Q. Why did the alien throw beef at an asteroid?
A. He wanted a little meaty-or.

Luke: What's for dinner, Dad?
Darth: Wookiee steak, but it's a little Chewy.

Q. Which Star Wars Jedi loves tacos?
A. Obi-Juan Kenobi.

Q. What do you call a cow that's no longer cleared for space flight?
A. Ground Beef.

Dijon Vu: The Same Mustard as BeforeQ. What did a grape say when an elephant stepped on it? A. Nothing. It just let out a little whine.Java Joke: Coffee has bean the grounds of strong, heated debate.

I relish the fact you've mustard the strength to ketchup on tasty puns.

Did you hear about the condiment race? Relish is in the lead, but mustard mayo ketchup soon!

Tomato Pick-Up Line: Are you ketchup? 'Cause I'm mustard and we should get together on a weiner.

Q. What do you call mayonnaise or margarine that's halfway toward its expiration date?
A. Middle-age spread.

When you get a hangover from wine, that's called the Grape Depression.

There's nothing to whine about regarding these wine jokes. They're grape!

A Grape Point to Ponder: If you can't be with the one you love, why not just love the wine your with?

Q. Why did the blonde go to the bank wanting to swap 100 grapes for 50 raisins?
A. Because she wasn't sure about the currant exchange rate.

Q. What do you call joe that won't quit brewing?
A. Stand your ground coffee.

Q. What do you call it when you walk into a coffee house you're sure you've been to before?
A. Deja Brew!

Q. Why do baristas take throat lozenges?
A. Because they get coffee.

Did you ever stop to think that coffee might be addicted to you?

Diet Joke: Becoming a Vegetarian is a Big Missed Steak.Q. What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon? A. Pork Rinds!Gnome Economics has nothing to do with cooking.

Q. What is the slogan at the new bodybuilder gym that's exclusively for for meat eaters?
A. Beef-It!

Today's Bullshit Point to Ponder: Is an argument between two vegans still called a beef?

Q. Which kind of humor always leaves a beef steak cold?
A. Biting wit and gnawing puns!

Q. What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?
A. Bull-ogna.

Just stop! Your bacon me laugh!

Q. What do you get if you cross a watermelon with brocolli?
A. Meloncholy!

A watermelon rolls on into a bar.
Bartender asks, "What'll it be?"
Watermelon replies: "A rum and cuke please."

Q. Which two things might a fruit-loving classic car buff have handy?
A. Peaches and chrome.

Funny Chef Tip of the Day: When baking dog biscuits, be sure to use collie flour.

Foodie Fun Fact of the Day: A fabulous chef can take some cheese and make something grate!

Today's Kitchen Gossip: Did you hear about the local baker who was paying his staff on a flourly rate?

The father who worked as a baker, was a great bread winner!

Lawyer-Turned-Cook. A.K.A. Sue ChefJava Joke: Does a coffee shop have the ground to operated in the black?Food Pick-Up Joke: Hey Gnirl, you must be a bacon burger 'cause you're bacon me crazy!

Q. What was the epileptic chef's house specialty?
A. Seizure Salad.

The cannibal daintily wiped his mouth and said, "My wife makes great soup. I'm really going to miss her."

The chef had a very strict policy: No bitchin' in his kitchen!

Q. What did the chef say when he discovered he didn't have the right utensil to cut through the thick meat?
A. Knife's too short.

Q. Why is bad coffee the end of a marriage?
A. Because it's grounds for divorce.

Q. What is the most jittery Beatles' song?
A. Latte Be.

Cents-Less Laugh of the Day: Why did the barista get so angry when the guy knocked over her container of cash and coins? After all, the sign said: tip jar.

Q. Why should you always be very wary of 5¢ espresso?
A. It's a cheap shot.

Q. Are hamburgers male or female?
A. Male. because they are boygers, not grillgers.

Q. How did the jury find the hamburger defendant?
A. Grill-ty as Charred!

Sorry, I meant to serve you a plain burger. No bun intended...
– Some Cheesy Stand-Up Comedian.

Guy wanted to take home the leftovers from the BBQ, but somebody else foiled his plans.

| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Tasty Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes, Culinary Beats | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |
| Italian Food Puns | 2 | 3 | Pasta Puns | Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Pirate Cuisine | Seafood Puns |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | BBQ | Butcher Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork | Poultry |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda Funny | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |


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You've tasted this much, so here's even more yummy humor, delicious jokes,
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Smart Humor! Science + Math = PunsClucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Monstrously Funny Puns

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