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Q. What's the worst thing about being a birthday cake? A. After you're set on fire, you are eaten by the hero who saved you!
Q. What does a skeleton say before dinner? A. Bone Appetit
What is the difference between spinach & boogers? Kids won't eat spinach.
Q. Which is the cheesiest day of the week? A. Faux Day!
Taters Ask: What do you call spud one that smokes weed? A. A Baked Potato!
Q. What kind of candy is never on time? A. Choco-late!
Diet Joke: Becoming a Vegetarian is a Big Missed Steak.
Happy Fun in the Bun Sunday!


Food Jokes, Kitchen Humor, Recipe for Laughter
Relish funny onion jokes, culinary puns, tasty cooking humor and stinking funny garlic laughs.

Cooking Puns, Onion Jokes, Culinary Humor
(Because The Recipe for Food Fights Is NOT Mainstream Enough Ever Since Home Ec & Shop Class Went Away!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Taking in too much food humor, culinary jokes, and foodie puns may cause gas.
| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Chef Jokes | Italian Food | Pasta | Pizza | Restaurant | Waiter | Deli | Tex-Mex | Soup | Herb |
| Butcher | Steak | Burger | Hot Dog | BBQ | Beef | Pork | Poultry | Egg | Seafood | Condiment |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Pepper Jokes | Pickle Puns | Potato | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry | Ice Cream |
| Baker Jokes | Bread | Butter | Dessert | Pie | Cookie, Candy | Beverage | Coffee | Milk | Soda |

Q. What is a locksmith's favorite barbeque sauce? A. Mesquite!Chimp Chef Says: Saw my dad chopping up Onions today and I cried. Onions was a good dog!Q. What is Batman's favorite comfort food? A. Alpha-bat soup!

Q. What do you get if you cross a doll with some ketchup, honey, mustard and onions in Kansas City?
A. Barbie-que sauce.

Q. What's the worst thing about salsa dancing?
A. Getting the tomato stains out of your clothes afterward.

Q. How do you host the best pig roast ever?
A. You go whole hog!

I love dogs! Especially with some BBQ sauce...

Fun Foodie Fact of the Day: An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but an onion a day keeps everyone away!

Q. What do you get if you cross a donkey and an onion?
A. A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eye!

Food Fact of the Day: Onion rings are actually the donuts of the vegetable world!

Did you hear about the new GMO onions that make you laugh? Wow, when did Colorado cannabis growers perfect "Bermuda Smiles?"

Q. What do you get if you accidentally spill chicken broth on a comic book?
A. Souperman!

Customer: Waiter, what is this?
Waiter: It's bean soup.
Customer: I don't care what it's been. What is it now?

Q. Why did the chef stir parsley into his pureed tomatoes?
A. Because it's soup herb!

Customer: Waiter, this food tastes funny.
Waiter: Then why aren't you laughing?

Did you hear about the fight in the kitchen? A fish got battered!Have you heard about the new garlic diet? You don't lose much weight but from a distance, friends think you look thinner.Q. What does a locksmith like to eat for brunch? A. Quiche!

Did you hear about the British cannibal who enjoyed dining on fish and chaps?

Q. What does a chef call it when he runs out of seafood for his famous chowder?
A. A clam-ity!

Q. Which kind of fish swims in hot oil?
A. Battered fish sticks. And, this is exactly what happens to fish that dropout of school! Yum!

To learn how to properly cook Japanese food, the chef bento-ver backward.

Q. What did the garlic say to the vampire?
A. Wanna pizza of me? You coward!

Fun Food Fact That Adds Up: An opinion without 3.14 is just an onion!

My girlfriend had tears in her eyes when I asked her to marry me. In retrospect, it might be because I proposed with an onion ring...

Q. Why does Mr. Potato Head need a cell phone?
A. In case Miss Onion rings.

Today's After Dinner Treat: If you believe the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, you're aiming a bit too high.

Q. Which kind of wild onions have rhyme and rhythm
A. Rap scallions.

Did you hear about the onion family that perished? They will dearly be minced...

Culinary Tip of th Day: A lot of casual cooks cry when peeling, slicing, dicing or mincing onion. The trick is not to become emotionally involved.

Where does garli go for a few drinks? A. The salad bar!Q. What do you call a vampire who lives in the kitchen? A. Count Spatula!Q. What's the difference between a banjo and an onion? A. Nobody cries if you chop up a banjo!

Q. What did garlic say to gal pal onion?
A. Ya know, boyfriends are cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Life is like an onion. You peel off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.

Q. What are small, white, round and often giggles?
A. Tickled onions.

I'm not sure if you're crying because these puns are so painful, or if it's because I'm mincing an onion?

Did you hear that Dracula collapsed after dining on a guy who ate garlic at the salad bar? Just another victim of Buffet, the Vampire Slayer.

Q. What is a ghost's favorite soup?
A. Scream of chicken!

Q. Which fruit do skeletons like to snack on?
A. Spineapple.

Q. What happened after the chef opened the refrigerator door because he heard green onions singing a Bee Gees song?
A. He realized it was just chives talking.

My smartass friend said onions are the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a coconut at him...

Q. What can a crappy cook make using baked beans and onions?
A. Tear gas.

A lot of people cry while chopping onions. The trick is not to get so emotionally attached to your dinner.

Q. Which hobbit always has onion breath?
A. Lord of the Onion Rings.

Q. What do pirates like to put on their toast? A. Jelly Roger!Q. What is a pirate's favorite vegetable? A. Arrrtichokes!Q. What do cloves use for money? A. Garlic bread!

Q. What did the chicken say to the piece of toast?
A. Just get bready to c-rumble!

Q. What's it called ii you burn your bread?
A. Loafing it too much!

Bakery Tip of the Day: Learning how to bake a cake is easy. It's just mind over batter.

Q. What does a baker do at night?
A. He tells bread time stories.

Q. Why did the bakery hire so many apples?
A. There was a lot of turnover!

Snack Food Point to Ponder: Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?

Q. What happened to the dancing pirate who went to the seafood-themed disco?
A. He pulled a mussel.

A guy took a first date to the local beanery for dinner. She was immediately inflatuated!

Q. What do you call an angry legume?
A. Grump pea.

Greasy Point to Ponder: Is a short order cook just a flash in the pan?

Q. What did the dill say to his sweet pickle?
A. Pucker up!

Q. What do you call haunted yogurt?
A. Paranormal Activia.

Q. Where do onions and shallots go to have a few drinks?
A. The Salad Bar.

Q. Which horse did the ranch onion ride?
A. The scallion.

Q. What do you get if you cross a donkey and an onion?
A. A fine piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye!

Q. Which vegetables are a plumber's favorites?
A. Leeks.

We'd tell one last Painful Pun about slicing onions, but it would have you in tears...

Q. How much is a pirate willing to pay for corn? A. A Buck An Ear!Q. What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A. A Nectarine!Q. What do aliens serve food on? A Flying Saucers!

Q. What does corn say when you compliment it?
A. Ah, shucks!

Q. How is an ear of corn like an army?
A. Both have a lot of kernels.

Q. Why do farmers play smooth jazz out in the corn field?
A. 'Cause it's easy on the ears.

Point That Health Food Chefs Ponder: Why isn't thyme used in medicine? After all, thyme heals all wounds.

Q. What do termites call the wood on some dining furniture?
A. Table food.

Q. How can you tell if a French restaurant is haunted?
A. It gives you the crepes.

Q. Why did the guy break up with his watermelon vendor girlfriend?
A. Because she was always so melon-dramatic about everything!

Q. What is a monster's favorite snack food?
A. Ghoul scout cookies.

Q. What is a skeleton's favorite Thanksgiving side dish?
A. Grave-y.

Did you know that good gravy is baste on turkey drippings?

Did you hear about the guy at Cape Canaveral who wanted to make a sandwich? He just flew off to buy some launchin' meat.

Q. What's fast, loud, and crunchy?
A. A rocket chip!

Q. How did the food critic describe manna from above?
A. It's Heavenly!

At lunch, the three little pigs ordered off the vegan menu, but Mary had a little lamb.

Q. What do you call it if a criminal is being fed awful sheep meat while in jail?
A. Mutton for punishment.

| Food Jokes, Foodie Humor | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Grocery Store Jokes |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes, Culinary Beats | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |

| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Waiter | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta | Take Out Food |
| Kitchen Gadget Jokes | Gourmet Grins | Dinner Jokes | Lunch LOLs | Nut Jokes | Old Chef LOLs |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Jokes |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Dessert Puns | 2 | Pie | Bread |Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |

PainfulPuns Home
You've lapped up this much, so here's even more tasty humor, saucy jokes,
delicious laughs and savory painful puns you'll really relish:

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| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Travel Jokes | UFO Jokes | Vampire Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Garden Puns, Green Groaners Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Work Humor, Joking on the JobCheesy Puns & Sharp Humor

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