Q. What do you call a cow with no legs? A. Ground Beef   PainfulPuns.com - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

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Why can't chefs play baseball? Because they always get caught trying to steal the basil!
Attempting to sell me cold cuts, I get a lot of calls from deli marketers.
Q. What does an agreeable pickle say? A. I relish the idea!
Q. Where do ghosts buy their food? A. At the ghost-ery store!


Cooking Puns, Funny Food Jokes, Chef Humor
Feast on delicious cooking humor, baked food puns, cheesy laughs and funny breakfast jokes.

Tasty Jokes, Half-Baked Humor, Food Puns
(Because Caffeinated Jokes and Crepe-y Chef Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Breakfast Lovers!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Get bready for bakery puns, moldy humor, and joke chefs that may bite!
| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Chef Jokes | Italian Food | Pasta | Pizza | Restaurant | Waiter | Deli | Tex-Mex | Soup | Herb |
| Butcher | Steak | Burger | Hot Dog | BBQ | Beef | Pork | Poultry | Egg | Seafood | Condiment |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Pepper Jokes | Pickle Puns | Potato | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry | Ice Cream |
| Baker Jokes | Bread | Butter | Dessert | Pie | Cookie, Candy | Beverage | Coffee | Milk | Soda |

Chef Pun: Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes!Java Joke: Snakes do not drink coffee because they get viper-active.Cheesy Joke: Somebody Threw Cheese at Me... Really Mature!

Q. What do witch chefs put on their bagels?
A. Scream cheese.

Q. Where do witches bake up their bewitching cookies?
A. In a coven.

Q. How does a penguin chef make pancakes?
A. He uses his flippers.

Q. Why did the chef retire?
A. He ran out of thyme.

Q. How do you make Pig Jerky?
A. Give 'em some coffee.

Q. What is the opposite of coffee?
A. Sneezy!

Q. Where does a mummy drink his espresso?
A. At the Sar-Coffee-Gus.

Q. What do you call a cow that's just given birth?
A. De-calf-inated!

Cheesy Point to Ponder: The history of cheese is full of holes, but it is still interesting in its own whey.

Q. How do you make goat cheese?
A. Ewe's milk!

Cheesy Chat Up Line: Hey girl, are you Swiss? 'Cause when I see you, I say Holy Moly!

Q. What kind of cheese flies?
A. Curds of prey.

Food Pun: A Boiled Egg is Hard to BeatA raisin wined about not acheiving grapeness.Zombie Humor: I tried working in a bakery, but I wasn't bread for it.

Why is that chef so mean? He beats the eggs, and whips the cream!

Q. How might you describe Humpty Dumpty's departure from the wall?
A. A disastrous egg-sit.

Two cooks had a heated argument, but after they simmered down, they decided to just hash it out.

Q. What does it take to be a great chef?
A. It boils down to beating the other chefs to the cutting edge recipes.

Q. What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
A. A Sherry Picker.

True Story?: I tried cooking with wine, but it didn't go that well. After five glasses, I forgot why I was even in the kitchen to begin with?

There comes a point during the day, when whatever the question is, the only answer is wine.

Raising children takes a village, preferably a village with a lot of vineyards.

Q. What does the Hollywood bakery call bread that only appears for a short time?
A. Cameo Rolls.

Q. Why was the baker so scared?
A. He found himself in a loaf or death situation.

Burny Laugh of the Day: Working in a bakery for decades left the baker with a loathe of bread.

Q. Why are bread jokes always so funny?
A. They never get mold.

My wife uses a kitchen implement to shred garlic and cheese, that I hate. It really is the grater of two evils!Q. If a seagull flies over the sea, what flies over the bay? A. A Bagel!Ice Cold Coffee? Cool Beans!

Q. Which cheese do beavers prefer?
A. E-Dam.

Cheesy Pick Up Line: Hey girl, you cheddar not miss out on the grater plans I have for you.

Q. Which kind of cheese has salon curly hair?
A. Perm-esan.

Q. Why did the cheesy bully lose the fight with a stone?
A. Because the Roquefort back.

Q. What do you call a bagel that can fly?
A. A plain bagel!

Did you hear about the baker with 12 children? There's always a bun in the oven. But, will they stop at an even baker's dozen?

Q. Why did a fish become a waiter?
A. He liked when people tipped the scales.

Q. Why did the chef get tossed out of the baseball league?
A. He was always trying to steal basils.

Cold Caffeine Sip Quip of the Day: I don't like hot drinks because that's just not my cup of tea.

Q. What is the soup of the day?
A. Coffee.

Did you hear about the blonde who thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team?

Q. What did the Hawaiian coffee ask the Indonesian coffee?
A. What's Sumatra with you?

Hey Gnirl, let's get some coffee 'cause I'm liking you a latte!Diet Pun: People Don't Like Food Going To Waist.Cheese Tasting 101: Cheese 1 may be gouda, but this one is feta!

That was a pick-up line for decaffeinated bikers who are looking for a rush.

Caffeinated Fact of the Day: Drinking too much coffee could cause a latte problems, or solve them...

Q. Which kind of coffee do mummies prefer on Halloween?
A. De-coffin-ated.

Q. What do you call a pot of joe that just won't stop brewing?
A. Stand your grounds coffee.

Dieting Point to Ponder: If you change the color of your food, are you on a dye-it?

The fad dieter ate everything with prickly pears, but now he's only eating foods with sorghums.

Diet Planning Point to Ponder: We know it's three meals a day, but how many at night?

Q. What's a clever name for a dating site for lovers of natural foods?
A. Organic Chemistry.

Q. Which cheese is made backward?
A. Edam.

Q. How do you order just plain cottage cheese for lunch?
A. You use the a la curd menu.

Q. Why did the cheese souffle fail to medal at the summer Olympics?
A. Because it fell at the final curdle.

Q. What do you call a cheese that drinks too much?
A. Livarot.

| Food Jokes, Foodie Humor | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | Grocery Store Jokes |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes, Culinary Beats | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |

| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Waiter | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta | Take Out Food |
| Kitchen Gadget Jokes | Gourmet Grins | Dinner Jokes | Lunch LOLs | Nut Jokes | Old Chef LOLs |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Jokes |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Corn | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Dessert Puns | 2 | Pie | Bread |Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |

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You've stomached this much, so here's even more baked humor, moldy jokes,
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More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bird Jokes | Colorado Jokes | Craft Beer Jokes | Farmer Jokes | Furniture Jokes | Gnome Joke! | Gym Jokes |
| Hipster Humor | Lunar Laughs | Music Jokes | Pick-Up Lines | Police Jokes | Psychic Jokes | Religion Jokes |
| Sci-Fi Jokes | Seasonal Humor | Sports Jokes | Sunday Jokes | Turf Humor | Vacation Jokes | Weed Jokes |

Garden Puns, Green Groaners Bartender Puns, Bar Humor Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Work Humor, Joking on the JobPet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves

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