Diet Pun: People Don't Like Food Going To Waist.   PainfulPuns.com - Edible Puns, Funny Food, Chef Humor, Java Jokes!

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Patient: "I keep getting a stabbing pain in my eye when I drink coffee!" Eye Doc: "Have you tried taking the spoon out of the cup first?"
Q. What do you call strawberries playing the guitar? A. jam session!
A new chef bought the old greasy spoon restaurnat but the current menu is an acquired taste!
You might be from Colrado if homemade salsa is the base of your food pyramid!
Q. Why did the finicy vegan chef quit? A. they cut his celery!

 


Food Humor, Unpalatable Puns, Cooking Jokes
Snack on tasty food humor, delectable foodie puns, cheesy cooking jokes and gouda laughs.

Funny Foodie Humor, Edible Puns, Cheesy Jokes
(Because Cheesy Cafeteria Food Fights Could Never Be Mainstream Enough for Wine and Cheese Party Goers!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Palatable puns may be easy to stomach, but these foodie jokes are NOT.
| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Tasty Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Chef Jokes | Italian Food | Pasta | Pizza Jokes | Restaurant | Deli | Tex-Mex | Soup | Herb |
| Butcher | Steak | Burgers | Hot Dogs | BBQ | Beef | Pork | Poultry | Egg | Seafood | Condiment |
| Carrot Jokes | Pickle Puns | Pepper Jokes | Potato Puns | Salad Jokes | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry | Ice Cream |
| Baker Jokes | Bread | Butter | Cookie, Candy | Dessert Puns | Beverage | Coffee | Milk | Soda |

When shouldn't you believe what your cheese is saying? When it's too gouda to be true.When making non-dairy butter, there is little margarine for error. Chef's girlfriend was grate in many ways, but she had a temper that boiled, was half-baked, and was extremely kneady.

Q. What did the street cheese say after being attacked by blades?
A. I've felt grater.

Cheesy Pick Up Line: Hey girl, tonight you are looking gouda 'nuff to eat!

Q. Why didn't the Italian chef tell lots-a pizza jokes?
A. Because he knows they're just too cheesy for his taste.

Q. Why did the pirate clown leave the cheesy circus?
A. Since he only had one leg, he couldn't get his Stilton.

Butter Funny Point to Ponder: If we got rid of all the margarine and oleo, would the world be a butter place?

Q. What did margarine say to oleo?
A. You butter back off, Pat.

Q. What do you churn to make forgetful butter?
A. Milk of Amnesia!

Q. What does a French chef call the first draft of a new butter recipes cookbook?
A. A menuscript.

Weighty Culinary Wisdom of the Day: Never trust a skinny chef!

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta way...

Q. What happened after a chef was murdered by being boiled to death in an industrial pasta cooker?
A. Police are trying to al dente-fy a suspect.

Q. Why was the baker fired?
A. He was always loafing around.

Q. Which kind of bread do elves makes sandwiches with?
A. Short bread!

Q. When does bread rise?
A. When you yeast expect it to.

Food Pick-Up Line: Is your body from McDonald's? 'Cause I'm Lovin' It!Q. What kind of cheese likes to shoot hoops? A. Swish cheese!What do you call a mushroom who buys a round of drinks? A Fun-Gi

Testy Pick Up Lines: Are you on the menu at Mcdonald's, 'cause you're McGorgeous!

Q. What happens when two hamburgers fall in love?
A. They live together in holy meatrimony!

Did you hear about the janitor at the fast food restaurant? He worked under the table.

Q. What do you call a pig thief who steals your lunch?
A. A Hamburglar.

Cheesy Come-On: Hey baby, the hole in my heart tells me that you must be Swiss-ing me, too.

Q. What did Brie say to Jack when he invited Colby along on a date?
A. Two's company, cheese a crowd!

Q Why did the wheel act so bossy?
A. He was the big cheese.

Did you hear about the new drive-thru restaurant for golfers? They insist upon putting greens on all their courses!

Q. Why did the fungi leave the party?
A. There wasn't mushroom!

Did you hear about the chef who had mushroom for improvement? He was a fungi, but of questionable morel character.

Two cannibals walk into a bar and sit next to a clown. First cannibal whacks the clown on the head, and they both start eating the clown. Suddenly, the second cannibal looks up and says, "Hey, do you taste something funny?"

Why does this cheese look normal? Because the rest on the platter are crackers. Hershey's makes millions of kisses a day. All I'm asking is ONE from you!Sweet Pick-Up Line: Hey Gnirl, do you have any raisins? No? Then how about a date?

Q. Which cheese could you use to hide a horse?
A. Mascarpone.

Cheesy Point to Ponder: Does Cheese need GPS, or does it automatically know which whey to go?

Q. What is a cannibal's favorite cheese?
A. Limb-burger.

Q. Why did the guy quit his job as a cheesemonger?
A. He said, "I camembert it any longer."

Q. How do you spell CANDY with only two letters?
A. C and Y.

Sweet Laugh of the Day: If a thief is craving small chocolates for dessert , would he just steal some Kisses?

Foodie Fact: Chocolate doesn't make the world go round, but it makes the ride sweet!

Q. What happens when you eat too much candy?
A. It makes you thick to your stomach!

Fruity Pick Up Lines: You inevitably hit a wrinkle every now and then, but that's not raisin any doubts, apricotly.

Q. Why did the innocent blueberry get framed for the crime?
A. The evidence was a strawberry plant!

Q. What do you call a fruit that's rough around the edges?
A. A bad apple.

Did you hear the joke about cherries? It was really pitiful!

I'll be Burger King and you're McDonald's. I'll have it my way & you'll be lovin' it!Cheesy Pun: She quit her job at the donut factory because she got fed up with the hole business.Diets are for people who are thick and tired of it all.

Q. Why was the greasy hamburger joint allowed to cook its books?
A. There's no accounting for taste!

Q. Why are hamburgers so happy at barbeques?
A. They get to meet all their old flames.

Q. Waiter, is it possible to make a hamburger do the hula?
A. Yes, order a burger and a shake!

Q. What do you call a claim that a guy could eat a Big Mac and a Whopper in two bites?
A. Hard to swallow.

Q. What is the new promotion the bakery is running?
A. Dollars to Donuts.

Q. What are the four food groups for police officers?
A. Jelly, glazed, powdered and chocolate.

Cheesy Factoid of the Day: The early bird does get the worm, but the mouse who slept in gets the cheese...

Q. How are mosquitoes just like cheesy puns?
A. Both are very annoying and the worst ones really bite!

Q. What do you call someone who can't stick with a diet?
A. A desserter!

Diet Success Story of the Day: My wife is on a diet of coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but now she can climb a tree.

Q. How did the dieter describe the new high-tech talking scale?
A. It has a weigh with words.

I just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap!

| Funny Food Jokes, Foodie Humor, Tasty Culinary Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 |
| Chef Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Chef Tunes, Culinary Beats | Gnome Chef Jokes | Chef Come-Ons |

| Restaurant Jokes | 2 | 3 | Italian Food | 2 | 3 | Pizza Jokes | Pasta Puns | Take Out Food |
| Butcher Jokes | Steak Jokes | Beef Jokes | 2 | Pork Jokes | Poultry Puns | BBQ Grill Jokes |
| Deli Jokes | Burger Puns | 2 | 3 | Hot Dog LOLs | Ketchup Jokes, Mustard Puns | Herb | Soup |
| Colorado Cuisine | Tex-Mex Jokes | Seafood Puns | Pirate Eats | Cop Cuisine | Breakfast Jokes |
| Egg Jokes | Milk | Butter | Cheese Jokes | Cheese Gnomes | Ice Cream | Cookie Candy Puns |
| Carrot Jokes | Peppers | Pickle Puns | 2 | 3 | Potato Puns | Salad | Tomato Jokes | Veggies |
| Fruit Humor | 2 | 3 | Apple Jokes | Banana Funs | 2 | 3 | Lemon | Orange Puns | Strawberry |
| Baker Jokes | 2 | Bread | Dessert Puns | 2 | Beverage | Coffee | 2 | Soda Funny | Beer | Wine |
| Snack Jokes | Halloween Treats | Tasty Cannibal Jokes | Sci-Fi Food Jokes | Green Munchies |
| Diet Puns | Gnome Diet Jokes | Vegetarian Jokes, Vegan Puns | Fitness and Dieting Jokes | 2 |


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You're still hungering for smiles, so here are even more tasty humor,
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jokes, and cheesy painful puns that are gouda 'nuff to eat:

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Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-OnsClucking Funny Farm Animal Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor

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