Q. How many newspaper columnists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one, but he'll tell everybody!   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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Q. What do planets like to read? A. Comet Books!
Gnome Poetry: She loves me, she loves me gnot!
Did you hear about the new national book club? They have local chapters!
Q. How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and one to give it a surprising twist at the end!

 


Novel Book Jokes, Writer Puns, Well-Read Humor
Cleverly worded puns, author humor, bookworm LOLs and novel literary jokes do spell laughter.

Grammar Jokes, Author Humor, Writing Puns
(Because Well-Written Jokes and Grammatically Correct Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Copy Editors!)
Warning: Read at Your Own Risk! Ink well-written jokes, print LOLS, editorial humor and unpublished puns ahead.
|
Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |

Wolf Says: Fine print is usually a clause of suspicion!Q. What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes? A. Remorse code!Q. Why did the vampire read the Wall Street Journal? A. He heard it had the best circulation!

Q. Why did the artist stop doing illustrations for currency books?
A. 'Cause he never drew a dime!

Q. Why does an accountant at a restaurant have to be so careful?
A. To ensure the books are not cooked.

Q. What is it called when someone has been suffocated by a book?
A. Murder, literally.

Literate Point to Ponder: If you don't know what the word, dictionary means, how would you look that up?

An English teacher asked a smart ass student to name two pronouns. The student replied, "Who, Me?"

Q. What happened after a kid was given a really cheap dictionary?
A. He could not find the words to say thank you.

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Nevermind. It's tear-able.

Q. Who wrote the runaway best seller about Truancy?
A. Marcus Abs-Ent.

Q. What did the exclamation point ask the period?
A. Why aren't you bleeding?

Q. Which lawyer wrote the definitive book about mortuary mishaps titled: Lost Coffin?
A. Sue Ann Undertaker.

Q. Why didn't we ever hear about the book titled Current Trends in Wiring Your Home?
A. It turned out to be a shocking failure.

Teacher: How many books have you read in your lifetime?
Student: I dunno. I'm not dead yet.

Q. Which magazine do the three little pigs read? A. Porks Illustrated!Did you know that a locksmith literally is Key-ng of his castle!Q What starts with P, ends with E, and has a million letters in it? A. Post Office!

Q. What is something that magazine and newspaper editors routinely do?
A. Make periodical changes.

Q. Which author penned the delicious new cookbook titled, Healthy Foods Must Die?
A. Chris P. Bacon.

Q. Which classic novel is about beaning brought up in the South?
A. The Adventures of Tom Soya.

Q. Who wrote the ultimate bartender's guide entitled, Thirst Quencher?
A. Bev R. Edge.

Literary Point to Ponder: If the pen is mightier than the sword, then why do actions speak louder than words?

Q. What did the thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A. A synonym roll.

Q. Who wrote the new expose about Batman titled: Another Stand-Up Commedian?
A. Joe Carr.

Q. Which famous novel and film villain was known for using a reading desk?
A. Hannibal Lectern.

Q. Which word begins and ends with the same three letters?
A. Underground.

Have you heard about the new book about Mount Everest? It's a real cliffhanger...

Q. What do you call a portable writing surface for a person on a cruise?
A. A shipboard clipboard.

Q. Which cleaning lady really cleaned up with her latest best seller, There's a Hole In My Bucket?
A. Lee E. King.

Q. Which musician writes songs about a country in the Himalayas? A. Nepal Simon!Q. What did the pencil say to paper on Valentine's Day? A. A I Dot My i On You!

Q. Which letters do Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday have in common?
A. None! None of them have a c, o, m, or n in them!

Q. Which zoologist wrote the definitive guide, Frogs and Toads?
A. A. M. Fibian.

Literate Point to Ponder: Dinosaurs did not read. Now they're extinct.

Q. Which section of the library should you avoid if you're afraid of snakes?
A. Hisss-tory.

Q. Which high-strung musician authored the new book, More of a Lute Than a Guitar?
A. Amand A. Lynn.

Q. Which tone-deaf music teacher wrote the book, Singin's Without Music?
A. Ackah Pella.

Q. Who did not write the definitive book about musical instruments?
A. Zyl A. Pfhone.

Q. What do you call a vicious argument between two pencils?
A. A gra-fight!

Q. Who did not write last year's hot best seller, My Fire is Gone?
A. Em Burr.

Q. Who authored the popular self-help book, How to Say NO?
A. Shirl E. Knott.

Q. How do you get ten English teachers to agree on the best teaching method?
A. Fire nine of them.

Q. Who authored the service industry best seller: Yez, How Can I Help?
A. Len D. Hand.

Q. What do you call Santa's helpers? A. Subordinate Clauses!Q. What do you call an incomplete Christams sentence? A. Satna Clause!Q. What's the difference between the Xmas aphabet and teh regular alphabet? A. Christmas alphabet has Noel!

Q. What do planets like to read?
A. Comet books.

Q. Which author got tripped up while writing the book, Knot Tying Shoe Laces?
A. Ben Dover.

Q. Who won in the argument between the pencil and the pencil sharpener?
A. The sharpener made a better point.

Q. Which one of Santa's elves wrote the book, Just Try Harder?
A. Buster Gutt.

Q. What do will writers dall the sections covering family members?
A. Relative clauses.

Q. What does a novel do during the winter months?
A. It puts on a book jacket.

Q. What is the longest word in the dictionary?
A. Smiles. Because there's a mile between the two Ss.

Q. What's black and white and red all over?
A. The newspaper!
A2. An embarassed zebra.
A3. A sunburned panda rolling down a hill.

Q. How does a poet sneeze?
A. Haiku!

Q. What is a bus you can never enter?
A. A Syllabus.

Q. Which is Emily Dickinson's favorite reindeer?
A. Dasher.

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
It's to whom!

Q. What is it called when a pencil gets superglued to the floor?
A. Stationary stationery.

Q. Which popular book series is dedicated to instructions for remedying all sorts of belly ailments?
A. For Tummies.

| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Humor | Weather Jokes | 2 | Colorado Weather Jokes | Moon Jokes | Planetary Puns |
| Astronaut Jokes and Outer Space Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Mars Jokes | 2 | Cows in Space |
| Brainy Jokes and Smart Puns | Artificial Inelligence Jokes | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |


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