Q. How are vampires like false teeth? A. They both come out at night!   PainfulPuns.com - Groaner Puns, Painful Jokes, Funny Ouch!

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Q. What does Batgirl wear to the superhero ball? A. Her Dark Knight Gown!
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Nighttime Jokes, Dusky Puns, Midnight Humor
End your day with nightmare puns, Saturday night humor, sundown laughs and moon lit jokes.

Night Jokes, Evening Humor, Dark Puns
(Because Moonlight Jokes and Eve Time Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream When the Nighttime is the Right Time!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Enchanting evening jokes, strangers in the night humor, and nightlife puns ahead.
| Night Humor | Morning Laughs | Noon Jokes | Bed Jokes | Insult Jokes | Compliment Jokes |
| Blonde Jokes | Bad Hair Puns | Bald Jokes | Hipster LOLs | Psychic Jokes | Hot Puns | Cold Jokes |
| Furniture Jokes | Fashion Jokes | Underwear Puns | Divorce Jokes | Traffic Jokes | Manly Jokes |

Q. How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? A. Every night he turns into a bat!
 
What is copper nitrate? Overtime for policement.
 
It's Another Wild Saturday Night!

Q. Why are there so many baseball night games?
A. 'Cause the bats are asleep during the day.

Q. Why did the skeleton cry himself to sleep every night?
A. Because he was empty inside.

Q. Where does a skeleton go to party on Saturday night?
A. A hip joint.

Q. Why do witches only ride their brooms at night?
A. Because that's the best time to go to sweep.

Q. What happens when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A. You get a cock that stays up all night.

Q. What did the guy say after he quit working the graveyard shift?
A. The difference is like night and day!

Q. What did Bigfoot do after he retired from the Colorado Springs Police Department?
A. He became a Night Squatchman.

Did you hear about the topless bar thattried to have a Polka night? All the blonde accordianists kept getting hurt!

Q. What do you ge if you have strep throat on Friday?
A. Saturday Night Fever!

Q. What does a janitor do at night?
A. Sweep.

Q. When do gin rummy players get lucky?
A. On wild Saturday nights.

Q. Why is the moon more useful than the sun?
A. 'Cause we really need the light at night!

Q. What did the sun say to the moon?
A. It looks like it's my night off.

Q. Why did the horny guy put his watch in the microwave?
A. He wanted a hot time tonight.

Q. Where do cows go on Saturday night?
A. To the moo-vies.

Q. What do you call a rooster that was out all night drinking?
A. A crocked-a-doodle-do.

Vampire Mouth Says: Looks like another rough Saturday Night!
 
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A. A vampire only sucks blood at night!
 
Batman asks: What does Batgirl wear to bed? A. Her Dark Knight Gown!

Q. How can you tell it was a really brutal Saturday night at the Denver brew pub?
A. Even your dog said it was "ruff!"

FYI: Being bouldered in Boulder could get you into trouble, but being denvered in Denver is just another Saturday night.

Q. Which Colorado craft beer chronicles everything about Saturday night online?
A. Logger Beer.

Q. How can you tell you had a truly terrific Saturday night?
A. By the number of pics you have to un-tag on Sunday morning!

Q. Which horror movie was about werewolves that come out at night and tow away everybody's cars?
A. The Hauling.

Q. Where does Judge Dracula work?
A. Night Court.

Q. Where does a vampire take a bath after a sloppy night out?
A. In the bat tub.

Q. Why do vampire bats drink blood all evening long?
A. 'Cause coffee keeps them awake all day.

Q. How did the werewolf's standup comedy show go?
A. He had the audience howling all night.

Q. How do you know a werewolf is in your neck of the woods?
A. A little old lady got mutilated last night.

Haunting Ghost Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, you look boo-tiful tonight!

Q. Why did the blonde wear her Thank God It's Friday T-shirt on Sunday?
A. Because she found religion on Saturday night.

Q. What does a well-dressed mallard wear to a formal affair at the Brown Palace Hotel on Saturday night?
A. His ducks-edo.

Q. What do romantic fishermen sing on a romantic date?
A. Salmon Chanted Evening...

Q. Why didn't the blondes go to the movies on One Buck Night?
A. They couldn't coax a deer into their car.

Q. Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?
A. Because it gives them something to do on Saturday nights!

Sir Lancelot had a bad dream about his horse. It was a knight mare.
 
Q. How are false teeth like stars? A. Both only come out at night!
 
Hey Girl, most call me Gnome Buddy, but you can call me tonight!

Q. What kind of horse do you ride down Elm Street?
A. A Nightmare!

Q. Do baseball players ever wear armor?
A. Only during knight games.

Q. What does a cannibal call a knight in armor at the Colorado Renaissance Festival?
A. Canned food.

Horse Hookup Line: Hay lady, would you like to star in my cowboy movie? You can ride my pony all night long.

Horse Pick-Up Line: Hey Filly, how 'bout I be your gallant steed and you be my knight, riding me all night long?

Q. What did one tonsil say to the other?
A. We'd better get dressed up because the surgeon is taking us out tonight.

Q. Which Colorado pot strain is preferred by strangers in the night?
A. Doobie Doobie Doo!

Grandpa's Weather Report: It's so foggy tonight that I can see through my cataracts.

Q. How can you tell you had a great Saturday night?
A. On Sunday morning, your right eye is glued shut and your left eye won't stop twitching!

Q. How are bats and dentures alike?
A. Both only come out at night.

Q. How are men like coffee?
A. The best ones are rich, hot, and can keep you up all night.

Denver Broncos Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, wanna kick off a new relationship tonight?

Q. On East Colfax, which type of Bronco fans prefer late evening games?
A. Night Mares.

Red Hot Colorado Cookout Lovers Humor: Brought a new grill home last night. She's a real gas and she's really hot, especially after you turn her on!

Caffeinated Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, know why they call me Coffee? 'Cause I can keep you up all night long.

Barely legal police pick-up line: My cuffs or you cuffs tonight?
 
Gnirl, are you a bag of trash? 'Cause I want to take you out tonight!
 
Q. What happens when Anakin Skywalker grills you a burger? A. It's a little on the dark side!

Q. Why did the blonde put several fruity beverages on top of her laptop at night?
A. 'Cause she was up on top of cider security!

Q. What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
A. I am drinking wine and feline fine!

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for the health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and stellar dance moves!

I drank so much wine last night, that when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass, I won the dance competition.

Q. Which Colorado craft beer do night owls enjoy?
A. Hops Around the Clock.

Q. Why did the trucker do well as a stand up comedian on open mike night at Denver Comedy Works?
A. 'Cause he had great delivery.

Friday Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, it's Friday night and I can't wait to be ashamed of whatever I do this weekend.

Saunter Day Night Pick-Up Line: Babe, is your name Saturday? 'Cause I've been working toward you all week long!

Did you hear about the company that delivers wood fragments very quickly? They even do overnight chipping.

Stallion Pick-Up Line: Hey Mare, I'd love to foal-fill all of your needs tonight.

Q. Which kind of horses only go out after dark?
A. Nightmares.

Colorado Pothead Point to Ponder: If we're not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the refrigerator?

Q. Why does the moon cross the night sky?
A. To get to the other side!

Q. How long did the owl's bachelor party go on at Hooters?
A. Owl night long.

Q. What do you call owls that only hunt at night?
A. Bedtime preyers.

Q. How is Batman like false teeth? A. He comes out at night!
 
Police pick-up line for blondes: Officer, that's a mighty big flashlight you have there!
 
Santa Says: It's another roof Saturday night!

Q. What is the mummy's plot to destroy Superman?
A. He's going to try to lure him into the crypt tonight.

Saturday Time Travel Point to Ponder: Is there a pause button for Saturday Nights?

News Flash! A powerful tornado tore through town last night. So far, eight bodies have been recovered. Plot twister: It only damaged the local graveyard.

Q. Why do garden slugs carry pepper spray with them at night?
A. 'Cause they don't want to be a-salted.

Q. Whch kind of prehistoric animal suffered from sleep apnea?
A. The Bronchial-snore-us.

Q. Which day of the week is Svengoolie's favorite?
A. Super Sci-fi Saturday Night!

Paleontology Professor: Which dinosaur slept all day?
Student: The dino-snore-us.

Q. What is a mime's favorite time of the day?
A. Dusk, because all the colors are muted.

 

Q. How do cops grill a chicken?
A. Repeatedly ask her why she crossed the road last night.

Q. Why do raindrops like lightning at night?
A. Because they can see where they're going.

Q. Why don't Coloradans drink Flat Tire beer when they're partying on Saturday night?
A. Why tempt fate or dare the devil?

Q. What do blondes in Grand Junction, Colorado call traveling on backcountry roads with the high beams on at night?
A. A bright idea.

Horse Pick-Up Line: Hay girl, are your hooves sore? 'Cause you've been galloping through my dreams all night long.

Q. What do you call a scary female horse?
A. A nightmare!

Colorado Craft Beer Point to Ponder: After sampling numerous tasty beers on Saturday night, shouldn't there be Hop Tarts to toast your Sunday morning?

Q. What did the garden gnome think when flowers without heads mysteriously appeared in the garden every night?
A. He thought he must be being stalked.

Q. Which night of the weekend just ambles on in and then casually strolls off?
A. Saunter Day.

New Year's Eve Pick-Up Line: Hey Babe, you don't have to wait 'til midnight to see my balls drop.

Q. What do cows say at midnight when the ball drops?
A. Happy Moo Year!

Q. What do you call wanting a date by midnight on New Year's Eve?
A. Social Security.

Q. What did the over-enthusiastic party goer say to the host at midnight?
A. Mind if I hang over at your place in the morning?

Q. What kind of horse loves Friday the 13th?
A. A Nightmare!

Q. Does British nobility ever watch baseball?
A. Only when it's a knight game.

Friday Night Point to Ponder: Is Saturday morning inevitable, or can you just put it off until Sunday ­ or Monday?

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