lady walked into an optician's office and announced that
she had a screw loose. The receptionist directed her to
the shrink's office next door.
What happened to the optician who had the foresight to perform
at the comedy club?
A. He made a spectacle of himself!
What did the determined student say when everybody laughed
at him after he said he wanted to be an optician?
A. You'll see, you will all see!
To an optician, what is a possessed lens?
A. A demonicle.
Fact of the Day: Opticians are men of vision!
Aid Pick-Up Line: Are you
drowning? Because I'm feeling the urge to give you CPR.
What is a triple bipass?
A. A play that works better than a quarterback sneak.
Come-On: Hey hottie, you
breathe oxygen and so do I! Looks like we already have something
What is an artery?
A. The study of fine paintings.
Pick-Up Line: Babe, those
clothes look uncomfortable. Let me cut them off you.
Point to Ponder: Do doctors tell each other doctor jokes?
ophthalmologists never die. They just loose their focus.
elderly man told his doctor he'd like his sex drive lowered.
Doc replied, "Sir, at your age, your sex drive is mostly
in your head." Man said, "I know. That's why I
want it lowered."
What is a recovery room?
A. A great place to do upholstery.
Groan of the Day: I just got my ER bill. Now I know why
those doctors were all wearing masks!