Why did the guy pass out while he was shopping?
A. We don't have the faintest idea…
Why didn't the proctologist tell his patient all
about his new prescription?
A. Because it was going to be a surprise-atory.
a lawyer was coming out of anesthesia after surgery, he
asked, "Why are all the drapes drawn?" The doctor
replied, "There's a fire across the street, so we didn't
want you to think the operation was a failure."
Why was the head ER nurse demoted?
A. For being absent without gauze.
If I give up sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll, will I live longer?
Doctor: No, it'll just seem longer.
What is a practical nurse?
A. One who marries a rich, terminally ill patient.
Chat Up Line: Hey there,
are you a cardiologist? 'Cause I want to surrender my heart
Why don't old chiropractors ever die?
A. Because they're so well adjusted.
Why did the snowman visit an orthodontist?
A. To correct his frostbite!
Why did the snowman go to the doctor?
A. Because he had the chills.
Are you always this pale?
Patient: Only on caucasian.
Which relative is likely to be taking medication for Schizophrenia?
A. Aunty Psychotic.
How do you describe the flavor of that pink upset stomach
Why did the nurse decide to go to art school?
A. To learn how to draw blood.
What do you call a tiff about a doctor's checkup?
A. Health spat.
What is a vain vein?
A. A greedy, egotistical, thankless MDVIP doctor
POS that sucks your wallet dry.
What caused the death of the old surgeon?
A. He just couldn't cut it any more.
Who gives out oral hygiene gifts at Christmas time?
A. Santa Floss!
When was medication first mentioned in the Bible?
A. When God told Moses to take two tablets.
Pick-Up Line: Can I take
your temperature? Because you're looking hot today!
What is a thorax?
A. An associate of The Cat In The Hat.
How can you tell a nurse is having a really bad day?
A. She keeps needling everybody.
Clinic Pick-Up Line: Babe,
you seem to induce REM sleep in me, 'cause you're the only
thing I dream about.
What did the doctor's bumper sticker say on his 1964 Cadillac?
A. Health is on the way!
Do old proctologists ever die?
A. No, they just butt out.
My phone just died.
Doctor: Let's call it.