walks into a psychiatrist's office and says, "Doctor,
you've got to help me. I think I'm a deck of cards."
The shrink replies, "Sit over there, and I'll deal
with you later."
I think I'm an electric eel.
Shrink: That's really shocking!
psychotic auto mechanic had sex with a nurse and then escaped
from the mental hospital. TV news reported the event as,
"Nut Screws and Bolts."
Thought of the Day: A man with a split personality went
to a shrink. After the first session, he asked for the group
Which former patient wrote the book, Mental Health Changed
A. Lew Knee Binn.
was wheeled into the operating room, but then he had a change
How many surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. They'd rather wait for a suitable donor and do
a filament transplant at that time.
How many doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Depends on its health insurance.
Point to Ponder: If a blonde goes upstairs to get her meds,
does that mean she's coming down with something?
Which anti-anxiety drug is manufactured in Southern California?
A. San Fernando Valium.
What is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist?
A. Nothing, if you're a dickhead.
elevator walks into a shrink's office and says, "Doc,
I think I'm out of control." Shrink replies, "In
your line of work, you're bound to have your ups and downs."
Doc, I think I'm a nit.
Shrink: Oh please, just get out of my hair.
Why was the architect seeing a psychiatrist?
A. Because he had an edifice complex.
I think I have a split personality.
Shrink: Okay, both of you sit down over there.