What do you call a doctor who is always on call?
A. An Oncallogist.
Why can't men get mad cow disease?
A. Because men are all pigs.
What is bacteria at the hospital?
A. The back door to the cafeteria.
Fact of the Day: When you try a new cough syrup, you have
no idea what to expectorate.
Why did Dracula take cold medication?
A. It was for his coffin.
Pick-Up Line: Hey hot girl,
are you a virus? 'Cause you're having an effect on my whole
Why did the composer go to a chiropractor?
A. Because he had Bach problems.
How many orthopedists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Why don't you just take out the socket? You're not using
Why should you trust the surgeons who are repairing your
A. Because they have your back.
What do you call two orthopedic doctors reading an EKG?
A. A double blind study.
Line in the Bone Lab: Hey Bae, I want tibia
your date tonight!
What do allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like
A. An aster-risk.
Tip of the Day: Looking for something to tickle her funny
bone? Just make a couple of humerus witticisms!
Bummer of the Day: I don't find doctor puns funny now that
I have an irony deficiency.
the guy woke up from surgery, the nurse asked how he was
feeling. He said he was okay, but didn't like hearing all
the four-letter words in the OR. The nurse asked, "What
did he say?" Guy answered, "OOPS!"
What did the doctor say to a rocket ship?
A. It's time to get your booster shot.
Cabinet Point to Ponder: Why isn't thyme used in medicine?
After all, thyme heals all wounds.
What happened when the elderly couple watched a TV ad for
A. The wife was all ears.
What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist?
A. One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick.