Did you hear about the bones recently found on the moon? It seems the cow did not make it.   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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If a poet ascends in an elevator, can you say the bard has been raised?
Q. What does a teacher say if you doze off in math class? A. Up And Add 'Em!
Q. How many newspaper columnists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Only one, but he'll tell everybody!
Q. What is a great name for an editor? A. Adeline Moore!

 


Clever Painful Puns That Smart So Good. Ouch!
Focus on shrewd science jokes, smart humor, and brainy nerd puns that are literately funny.

Brainy Nerd Jokes, Science Puns, Smart Humor
(Because Smart Jokes, Genius Puns, and Keen Humor Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You're Taking an IQ Test!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Ingenious jokes, incoherent humor, and incomprehensible puns ahead.
| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |

99% of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils.Gnome Entering a Black Hole!Two hydrogen atomes met. 1st: "I've lost my electron." 2nd: "Are you sure?" 1st: "Yes, I'm Positive!"

Q. What would happen if you took the school bus home?
A. The police would make you bring it back!

Q. Why did the cyclops quit his job as a teacher?
A. Because he only had one pupil.

Q. Why did the stressed out teacher close his eyes?
A. Because then there are no pupils to see.

Q. What did scientists confirm after announcing the first photo of a black hole?
A. Once you go black, you never do come back.

Q. How many general relativity physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
A. Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to rotate the universe.

Q. What did the physicist say when he spotted a dreamy new wave function?
A. Psi.

Q. Why didn't the relationship between the physicist and biologist work out?
A. They realized there was no chemistry.

Q. What is a physicist's favorite dinosaur?
A. Velocity Raptor.

Q. Where do physicists attend church?
A. At the center of mass.

Q. What do you do with a sick chemist?
A. If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

How Does a Man on the Moon Get His Hair Cut? Eclipse It.Gnome ____ in a Black Hole!Old laser physicists never die. They just become incoherent.

Q. Why doesn't anybody trust the Man in the Moon?
A. Because he has a dark side.

Q. Why is the Man in the Moon bald?
A. 'Cause 'e has no 'air.

Q. What do you call a clock on the moon?
A. A lunar-tick.

Q. Which dance do all astronauts know?
A. The Moonwalk!

Discovery of the Century depicted on the cover of TIME.

Q. Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover?
A. When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position; when he found the position, he couldn't muster the momentum.

Q. What happened when a new social group for rocket scientists was created?
A. It really took off.

Q.What is a physicist's favorite food?
A. Fission chips.

Physics quote of the day: Anything that doesn't matter has no mass!

Q. What do physicists enjoy doing during favorite sports events?
A. The Wave!

Did you hear about the new book about antigravity? It's impossible to put down.

Troll Poetry... Un Gnome PassageFour fonts walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get out. We don't want your type in here."How do astronomers organize a party? They Planet

Trolls are poets and they gno it.

Q. What inspired the Wyoming cattle rancher to write poetry?
A. His moos.

Q. What does a writer say when he's already got plans for the weekend?
A. Sorry, I'm booked.

Q. How did Juliet maintain a constant body temperature?
A. Romeostasis.

A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar. (This joke smarts, in a painful sort of way.)

An anagramist walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the clean fog?"

Q. What is a proof?
A. One-half percent alcohol.

Q. What happens when you mix literature with alcohol?
A. You get: Tequila Mockingbird.

Q. Why can't astronomers find humor in the movement of stars and planets?
A. 'Cause the real jokes are in the comets!

Q. What do moon people do when they get married?
A. They go off on their honey-earth.

Did you hear that scientists now apothesize that cats are actually from Mars? NASA was sent to retrieve a specimen, but Curiousity killed it.

When the doctor asked an editor how he was doing, he said there was a problem with circulation.You're like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life!Hulk Humor: My Zipper Broke, But I Fixed It on the Fly!

Q. Who wrote last year's hot best seller, My Fire is Gone?
A. Em Burr.

Q. What do planets like to read?
A. Comet books.

Q. Why didn't we ever hear about the book titled Current Trends in Wiring Your Home?
A. It turned out to be a shocking failure.

Q. Which word in the dictionary is a lot longer than it looks?
A. Rubberband – because it stretches!

Smart Tip of the Day: A general rule of grammar is that double negatives are a no-no.

Q. Who did not write the definitive book about musical instruments?
A. Zyl A. Pfhone.

Now, that IS really smart! Just think how scary that jolly green alternative would be!

Q. Who wrote the new fitness book, Weight for Me?
A. Jim Naysium.

Q. Which cowboy author wrote the book, Drinking Up the Old West?
A. Sal Oonz.

| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |


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| Dumb Blonde Jokes | Stupid Bar Jokes | Astute Colorado Jokes | Gnome Nonsense | Clever Hipster Jokes |
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| Mind-Bending Painful Puns | Mind-Boggling Riddles | Mind-Numbing Shrink Puns | On the Ball Sports Jokes |
| Smart Techie Jokes | Savvy Travel Jokes | Dumb Weed Jokes | Shrew-d Witch Puns | Brainy Zombie Jokes |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Work Humor, Joking on the Job Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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