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Q. Which word is always spelled wrong in the dictionary? A. Wrong!
Q. Where do bananas go to learn? A. Sundae school!
Q. How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and one to give it a surprising twist at the end!
Have you read the book, Damn It Jim? It's by Ima Doctor and Nada Bricklayer.
Q. What did the winning authors get when they won at tug-o-war? A. A Pull-it-zer prize!

 


Brainy Jokes, Clever Puns, Literate Humor
Fire up brainy jokes, smart humor, and clever nerd-worthy puns that make you think to laugh.

Smart Humor, Nerdy Puns, Funny Science Jokes
(Because Dynamic Puns, Kinetic Jokes, and Energetic Humor Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in Your Dreams!)
Warning: Proceed with Mindful Caution! Jokes that smart, mind-bending humor, and cross-eyed puns ahead.
| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |

A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much a beer is. Bartender says, "For you, no charge."Lost my library card, but I'm still checking you out!99% of cross-eyed teachers have trouble controlling their pupils.

Q. Why don't physicists and Bingo players get along?
A. They disagree on the application and existence of a free space.

Ironic Physics Point to Ponder: Why is being a physicist still considered uncool, when thermodynamic entropy is getting cooler all the time?

Q. What did the physicist say when he saw a guy who was about to jump off of a skyscraper?
A. Don't you it! You have so much potential.

Q. Why was the junior librarian reincarnated as a bookmark?
A. 'Cause he always knew his place.

Q. Where does the librarian nap during her break?
A. Between the covers.

Q. Why did the librarian join the police force?
A. 'Cause he wanted to work under cover.

Q. Why didn't the burglar break into the library?
A. He was afraid if he got caught, he'd get a really long sentence.

Q. Why don't you see giraffes in elementary school?
A. Because they're all in HIGH School!

Q. Why did the music teacher need a ladder?
A. To reach the high notes.

Q. Why did the teacher send the chicken to the principal's office?
A. For using fowl language.

Teacher: I've had to send you to the principal's office every day this week. What do you have to say about that?
Student: I am so glad it's finally Friday.

Are you a 90 angle? 'Cause you're looking so right!Past, Present & Future Walked Into a Bar. It Was Tense!Hey Gnirl, are you a carbon sample? 'Cause I want to date you!

Q. Why does a right triangle run the air conditioner so much?
A. Because it's always 90!

Q. What did the math circle say to te rectangle?
A. Dude, you're such a square!

Q. What does a math geek call an empty parrot cage?
A. Polygon.

Q. Where do math teachers celebrate on New Year's Eve?
A. Times Square.

A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please, no stories!"

Q. Why don't they ever serve beer at a math geek party?
A. 'Cause you can't drink and derive.

Q. Which famous physicist only drank one beer?
A. Einstein.

Q. How did the nuclear physicist mix cocktails at his party?
A. He used a pina collider.

Chem Lab Gossip of the Day: Did you hear that oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg!

Q. Why did the chemist concoct a laughing gas that also works as a laxative?
A. Just for shits and grins!

Q. What did the scientist say when he found two helium isotopes?
A. HeHe.

Q. What does a chemist's laboratory retriever do with his bones?
A. Barium.

The med student worried about passing as a surgeon, but did make the cut.Dead Languages Are Already EncryptedDid you hear about the bones recently found on the moon? It seems the cow did not make it.

And now as an intern, the young doc keeps them all in stitches.

Q. Why do scientists call Helium, Curium, and Barium the medical elements?
A. 'Cause if you can't helium or curium, you barium.

Q. What do you call the leader of a biology gang?
A. The Nucleus.

Author Point to Ponder: If the pen is mightier than the sword, why do actions speak louder than words?

An anagramist walks into a bar. The bartender asks: "Why the clean fog?"

An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

Q. How did the cow get to the moo-on?
A. She launched into udder space!

Q. Why wouldn't the moon go to the sun's funeral?
A. Because it's not a mourning person.

Q. What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon?
A. The apocaclipse.

Past Travels: Gnome Mystery. *Footnote in historyDid you hear about the lost sausage? It was the missing link.Hey Gnirl, your bosons give me a HADRON!

Q. Why is history the sweetest school subject?
A. Because it's full of dates.

Teacher: Why was the era prior to the Medieval period called the Dark Ages?
Student: Because there were so many knights?

Q. Why did the Romanian guy stop reading for the day?
A. To give his Bucharest.

Literate Tip of the Day: Never judge a book by it's movie.

Did investigators finally meat their match?

Q. What is a caterpillar's favorite subject in school?
A. Moth-ematics.

Q. How do bees get to class?
A. They take the school buzz!

Q. How does a fish get to school?
A. It takes the octobus!

Q. What did the snake study in school?
A. Hiss-tory.

Q. How do cows do arithmetic?
A. They add one to an udder.

The Heineken Uncertainty Principal states, "You can never be sure how many beers you had last night."

Q. What kind of breasts did the blonde physicist have?
A. QuanTitties.

Q. Why do quantum physicists have the best sex?
A. 'Cause they know all the super positions.

Q. What did American physicists say to the US government after German scientists discovered how to split the atom?
A. Don't worry. There's other fission DC.

| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |


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