Smart Author Jokes, Math Puns, Science Humor 8

Smart Author Jokes, Science Humor, Math Puns
(Because Intelligent Humor, Clever Jokes, and Smart Ass Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream For Brilliant Nerds!)

Q. What did the winning authors get when they won at tug-o-war? A. A Pull-it-zer prize!

Q. What did the drummer get on his IQ test? A. Saliva!

Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary? SMILES, because there's a mile between each S!

Q. What do librarians take with them when they go fishing?
A. Book Worms!

Writing Fact of the Day: A pencil is not as phallic as a pen is.

Q. Who wrote the book, I'm Rolling Down the Alley?
A. Beau Ling.

Q. What are ten things you can always count on?
A. Your fingers.

Q. Why did two 4s skip lunch?
A. Because they already 8!

Q. What kind of school do you attend if you are a surfer?
A. Boarding School.

Q. What does it mean when an author feels empty?
A. Shelf awareness.

Q. How did the librarian lose the book, War and Peace?
A. Oh gosh, that's a long story...

Writer's Point to Ponder: If you are anti-pencil, are you erase-ist?

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil!

A book never written: Life Is A Dentist by Flo Ride

Q. What do you call the group of scientists who name the tiny things inside atos? A. Particle Board!

Q. How can you tell if a mathematician is extroverted?
A. When he talks to you, he looks at your shoes instead of his own.

Q. Why don't blind people bother to sharpen their pencils?
A. They don't see the point of it.

Q. What do you call a number that can't sit still?
A. A Roamin' Numeral.

If you leave alphabet soup heating on the stove and forget, that really could spell disaster!

Q. What did the math textbook say to the history book?
A. You know, you can always count on me.

Q. What did one pencil say to another?
A. Bro, you are lookin' sharp today!

Q. How can you tell the difference between a biologist and a chemist in the rest room?
A. The biologist washes his hands afterward, but the chemist washes his hands first.

Q. How does a scientist freshen his breath?
A. With experi-mints.

Q. What did Gregor Mendel say when he founded genetics?
A. Woo Pea!

When a weatherman updates viewers on rapidly moving gray clouds, is that a stratus report?

Q. How many books can you put into an empty backpack? A. One. After that, it's not empty!

Q. What is a light-year? A. the same as a regular year, but with less calories!

Q. What is the weather forecast when a right angle goes swimming?
A. 90º.

Q. Why is electricity an ideal citizen?
A. Because it conducts itself so well!

Did you hear about the new book about Mount Everest? It's a real cliffhanger...

Q. Why didn't the guy finish reading the book about sinkholes?
A. 'Cause his plans fell through.

If two wrongs don't make a right, then why does a double negative make a positive?

Q. What do you need for a quick book review?
A. A second glance.

Q. Why did one book ask the book next to it a question?
A. To see if they were both on the same page.

Q. How do astronauts eat ice cream?
A. In Floats!

Q. What do you call a professional who tries to beautify outer space?
A. A Cosmo-tologist.

Q. How did the mathematician send a message to an alternate universe?
A. He used a parallel-o-gram.

Q. How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. None. 'Cause they're not interested in that short wave stuff.

Q. What holds the moon up? A. Moon Beams!

Have you read the book, Chekov: The Navigator? It's byy: I. Kiptin

What kind of music do planets enjoy singing along to? Neptunes!

Q. Why couldn't the astronaut book a room on the moon?
A. 'Cause it was full.

Q. Why did the sun go to high school?
A. To get even brighter.

Q. Why didn't the sun go to college?
A. It already has a million degrees!

Q. Why didn't the Dog Star laugh at the last joke?
A. Because it was too Sirius.

Q. Do you know the name, Pavlov?
A. Aye, it rings a bell.

Q. What does an astronaut do when he gets dirty?
A. He takes a meteor shower.

Q. Who wrote the book, A Robot's Life In the Future?
A. Art A. Ficial.

Q. Which letter of the alphabet has a lot of water?
A. The C.

Q. What did Neptune say to Saturn?
A. Is Uranus in between us?

Q. Which music do intergalactic astronauts listen to in the Terran star system?
A. Neptunes.

Q. Why are Saturn and Neptune considered the butt cheeks of the solar system?
A. 'Cause Uranus is between them.

Q. What did Saturn tell its largest moon when it started getting too far away?
A. Titan up!

| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Grammar Jokes, Punctuation Humor | Letter of the Alphabet Puns | Eco Environmetal Jokes |
| Museum Puns | Archaeology Jokes and Paleontology Puns | Geology Jokes | Engineer Jokes |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather | 2 | 3 | 4 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Sun Puns | Ancient Astronaut Jokes |

You've lasted this far, so here's more sharp laughter, stupefying humor,
astonishing jokes, and questionable painful puns that'll sum it all up:

More Deft Painful Puns, Ace Groaner Jokes, and Apt Unanswered Riddles...

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