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Q. Which is the longest word in the dictionary? SMILES, because there's a mile between each S!
Q. What do you call a pirate that skips history class? A. Captain Hooly!
What do you get if you cross a student and an alien? Somethig from another university!
Did you hear about the new national book club? They have local chapters!
When the teacher lectured avout leafy green veggies, the pupil learned a chard lesson!

 


Intellect Puns, Heady Jokes, Mental Humor
Fun day mental puns, brainy math humor, and clever science jokes justify a field trip to the lab!

Smart Jokes, Brainy Humor, Science Puns
(Because Smart Ass Puns, Genius Jokes, and Clever Humor Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream If You've Gone Mental!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Intellectual humor, math jokes that add up, and brain-numbing puns ahead.
| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |

Are you made of beryllium, gold, and titanium? Because you are Be-Au-Ti Full!NASA just put a bunch of Holsteins into low earth orbit. Missioin name: The Herd Shot 'Round the WorldHey Gnirl, I was born on Pi Day. That's why my love is infinite and non-repeating!

Q. Why are chemistry jokes so dull?
A. Because they lack the element of Surprise!

Q. What is the difference between a chemist and an alchemist?
A. Aluminum.

Q. Why are chemists great at solving problems?
A. They have all the solutions.

Q. Where do planets and their moons go to study the solar system?
A. The University!

Q. What do you call it if you're trying to slingshot around Jupiter but end up crashing into one of its moons instead?
A. Europa creek with no paddle.

Q. What did the librarian say to the astronaut?
A. I'll find space for your book.

Q. How do you know your math tutor is hungry?
A. She'll work for pi.

Q. Why do mathematicians like airlines?
A. 'Cause they use pi-lots.

Q. What did the square ask the circle?
A. Been around long?

Dear Algebra, Please stop trying to find your X. She's never coming back, and don't ask Y.

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.Best seller about trolls, by Ungnome AuthorWe're going on a field trip to a Coca-Cola factory. I hope there isn't a pop quiz!

Q. Why did the school teacher have to wear sunglasses during class?
A. Her students were SO bright!

Q. What did the gorilla learn at school?
A. The Ape B Cs.

Q. What is it called when a pencil gets superglued to the floor?
A. Stationary stationery.

Q. Why don't pens and pencils like to travel around?
A. Because they're stationery.

#1 Writer's Rule: Remember double negatives are always a NO, NO!

Q. What do story tellers and dogs have in common?
A. Both like to wag their tales.

Q. Who did not write last year's hot best seller, My Fire is Gone?
A. Em Burr.

Q. Who wrote the book, Yeah, I'm Still a Smoker?
A. Nick O. Tiene.

Q. What happened when the teacher tied everyones laces together?
A. They went on a class trip!

Q. Why did the new kid run out of the classroom with a chair?
A. 'Cause the teacher said to take a seat.

Q. Why did a Tootsie Roll go to school?
A. Because it wanted to become a Smartie!

Q. Why was the clock in the school cafeteria always slow?
A. Because it always went back four seconds.

Are you a chemist? 'Cause I want to do you on a table periodically!To the guy who invented zero: Thanks for Nothing!Anonymous: Gnome Name

KaPow! Oops, I blew up my chemistry experiment. Well, oxidants do happen.

Q. How do you solve a chemistry problem?
A. With a solution.

Formula Point to Ponder: If a chemistry student is too dumb to learn about Oxygen, does that make him an oxymoron?

Q. Why should you never use a test tube as a dildo?
A. Because that's F-ing vial!

Q. Why shouldn't people hate chemistry?
A. Because half-lifes matter, too.

Q. Why aren't 4s friends with 5s?
A. Cause they're odd.

Q. What did 0 say to 8?
A. Nice belt!

Q. Which number gets bigger if you turn it upside down?
A. 6.

Q. What was a T-Rex's favorite number?
A. 8!

Q. How is 3+3=9 like your left foot?
A. It's not right!

Q. Who wrote the book, You Don't Gnome Me?
A. Anne Nonny Mus.

Q. What did the sketchbook say when the novel asked a question?
A. I'm drawing a blank.

Librarian Pick-Up Line: You must be over-due, 'cause you are looking so fine!

Q. What is the tallest building in the world?
A. The library. It has the most stories.

Q. Which classic novel is about beaning brought up in the South?
A. The Adventures of Tom Soya.

There's gnome time like the present, past and future. Who gnew gnomes are time travelers?I often say to myself, "I can't believe that cloning machine worked."Hey Gnirl, do you love water? That means you love 60% of me already!

Q. According to physicists, why is the world so diverse?
A. Because it's made up of alkynes of people.

Did you hear about the cult of teenage girls who worship physicist Georg Simon Ohm? In schools everywhere, you can hear them praying, "Ohm, My God!"

Now, I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn't seem to be gaining too much momentum.

Q. What happened when space aliens tried to abduct Chuck Norris?
A. The aliens were never seen again!

Smart Factoid of the Day: The Universe is not explanding. It's running away from Chuck Norris!

Q. Who was the toughest guy in the book club?
A. Conan, the Librarian.

Q. If H2O is water, then what is H2O4?
A. Drinking, bathing, swimming, irrigation, boating, surfing...

Did you know titanium is the most amorous metal? When it gets hot, it'll combine with anything.

Q. How did the scientist know the chemistry was gone from his relationship?
A. His wife couldn't get Prozac anymore, and he ran out of Viagra.

| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |


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