Q. How do you know when the moon is going broke? A. When it's down to its last quarter.   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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Q. How many books can you put into an empty backpack? A. One. After that, it's not empty!
Data Asks: Have you rea the book, The Positronic Brain? It's by Anne Droid!
Q. What do you call a newspaper worker who makes corrections in an uneven way? A. A choppy editor!
Deciding what to focus on at college can be a mjor decision!
Q. What do you call a pirate who skips school? A. Captain Hooky!

 


Brainiac Jokes, Clever Nerdy Humor, Science Puns
Savvy nerd jokes, geeky smart humor, and nerdy science jokes do make up everything funny.

Smart Puns, Brainy Science Jokes, Nerdy Humor
(Because Ingenious Jokes and Pure Genius Puns Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream for Poindexter or Mr. Peabody!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Smart humor for nerds, jokes geeks get, and chemically-induced puns ahead.
| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Humor | Weather Jokes | 2 | Colorado Weather Jokes | Moon Jokes | Planetary Puns |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor and Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Cows in Space |

A photon checked into a hotel, but didn't need a bellman because it was traveling light.Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you are a real Cu-Te!Two chemists walk into a bar. First one says: "I'll have H2O." Second one says: "I'll have H2O, too." He died.

Q. What does a subatomic duck say?
A. Quark!

Smart Factoid of the Day: Physicists are the only scientists that matter, but mathematicians are the only ones that count.

Q. What do you get when you combine sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
A. SWAG!

Q. Why are Painful chemistry Puns so bad?
A. They often make you go HeHe.

Chemistry Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, are you made of Na, Selenium, and Xenon? 'Cause you are Sodium SeXe!

Q. What did the chemist say when his experiment blew up?
A. Oops! Well, oxidants happen.

Q. Why don't they serve beer at a math party?
A. Because you shouldn't drink and derive.

Q. What phrase should you never hear in chemistry class?
A. Bottoms Up!

Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

Argon walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve noble gasses here." Argon didn't react...

Q. Why is it so hard to find a good chemistry pun?
A. Because the best are Argon, so Na.

Did you hear about the elderly scientist who discovered an effective Alzheimer's vaccine? Unfortunately, he forgot the formula.

Did you return your books late? 'Cause you've got FINE written all over you!Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Food is out of this world, but there's no atmosphere.Gnirl, if you were a triangle, you'd be acute one!

Smart Pick-Up Line: Literate gnome puns still aren't too smart, but funny! Ouch!

Q. Why did the artist stop doing illustrations for currency books?
A. 'Cause he never drew a dime!

Did you hear about the student who was an aggressive reader? He really hit the books.

Q. What did one pencil say to another?
A. Bro, you are lookin' sharp today!

Finally, cattle mutilations explained:
Q. Why did the alien throw beef at an asteroid?
A. He wanted a little meaty-or.

Q. What do you call somebody who is in love with the moon?
A. A lunartic.

Q. What is the fastest liquid on the planet?
A. Milk, 'cause it's pasteurized before you even see it!

FYI: Scientists have confirmed that sharp pick-up lines do help you get an angle on the dating scene.

Q. Why was the obtuse angle always so frustrated?
A. Because it was never right.

Q. Which geometry figure is like a lost bird?
A. Polygon.

Note: Dear Math, I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems!

How do spacemen add more protien to their diet? They make it meteor. Hey Gnirl, I'm attracted to you! According to the law of gravity, you're attracted to me, too!What did a blind man say after being handed a cheese grater? "That's the most violent book I've ever read!"

Q. What do spacemen serve their food on?
A. Flying saucers.

Q. Where does an overweight space alien go to workout?
A. Planet Fitness.

Q. What did the alien say to the Jack Daniels distributor?
A. Take me to your liter.

Q. Where do space aliens like to go fishing?
A. In the Galax Sea!

Q. What did the physicist hang on the lab door while he was out on an angling vacation?
A. Gone Fission!

Q. Why did the physicist switch over to city water?
A. He got tired of building an infinite square well.

Q. Which doctor is least seen by his patients?
A. The Ophthalmologist!

Q. Why don't blind people bother to sharpen their pencils?
A. They don't see the point of it.

Q. Why did the kid eat his homework?
A. Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.

Q. How are a school teacher and a train different?
A. Teach says, "Spit out your gum," and a train says, "Choo choo!"

Author Un GnomeQ. Why does lightning shock people? A. Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.Gnirl, your brain turns me on 'cause you're as sharp as cheddar!

Did you hear about the kid who accidentally stabbed the librarian in the face with a pencil? He thought he was in big trouble, but she merely turned a blind eye.

Q. What do a run-on sentence and a used pencil have in common?
A. A very dull point, if any.

Q. What's the difference between a broken pencil and a bad joke?
A. The broken pencil has two parts. A bad joke. ...

Q. What very moving did the scientist give to his scientist girlfriend?
A. Joules.

Q. Why did the paleontologist and cryologist refuse to hang out with the biologist?
A. 'Cause that hipster was too current.

Scientists just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it sooner, but it was hiding behind two other genes.

Q. Which is the smartest state?
A. Alabama. 'Cause it has four As and a B.

Smart Chat Up Line: Colby, your intellect turns me on 'cause you are sharp cheddar.

Q. What do sharp women call a hat for a man's brain?
A. A Condom!

Middle School Teacher: What is Irony?
AP Student: Anything with the chemical symbol Fe.

| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Humor | Weather Jokes | 2 | Colorado Weather Jokes | Moon Jokes | Planetary Puns |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor and Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Cows in Space |


PainfulPuns Home
You've geeked out this far, so here's more nerdy snickers, Poindexter humor,
Sherman-worthy jokes, and clever painful puns Mr. Peabody sniffed out:

More Deft Painful Puns, Ace Groaner Jokes, and Apt Unanswered Riddles...

| Dumb Blonde Jokes | Stupid Bar Jokes | Astute Colorado Jokes | Gnome Nonsense | Clever Hipster Jokes |
| Guy Smarts | Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | Acute Medical Puns | Musical Genius Jokes | Smart Ass Pick-Up Lines |
| Mind-Bending Painful Puns | Mind-Boggling Riddles | Mind-Numbing Shrink Puns | On the Ball Sports Jokes |
| Smart Techie Jokes | Savvy Travel Jokes | Dumb Weed Jokes | Shrew-d Witch Puns | Brainy Zombie Jokes |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Work Humor, Joking on the Job Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

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