Q. What did the drummer get on his IQ test? A. Saliva!   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:


Groaner: A Book Just Fell On My Head. I've Only Got My Shelf To Blame.
Q. Why did the pirate go to college? A. to become an Arrrchitect!
Q. Why didn't an element want to get bonded to its partner? A. It would have to pay compound interest!

 


Brainy Jokes, Writer Puns, Smart Ass Humor
Funny writer jokes, brainy humor, keen grins and clever school puns literally do spell laughter!

Intelligent Jokes, Nerdy Humor, Science Puns
(Because Intelligible Humor, Comprehendable Jokes, and Smart Ass Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Proceed Cautiously! Smart ass humor, coherent jokes, lucid laughs and mind-numbing puns ahead.
| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |

Did you hear about the new national book club? They have local chapters!Q. What is a runner's favorite subject in school? A. Jog-raphy!Q. What is a great name for an editor? A. Adeline Moore!

Q. What is the world's tallest building?
A. The library – because it has the most stories!

Q. What do you get if you throw a lot of books into the ocean?
A. A Title Wave!

Q. Which writing genre pays the most?
A. Ransom notes!

Q. How does a poet sneeze?
A. Haiku!

Q. What happened when the wheel was invented?
A. It caused a revolution.

Q. What is the worst thing that can happen to a geography teacher?
A. Getting lost on a field trip.

Q. Why did the geography student drown?
A. His grades were below C level!

Q. What is a school teacher's favorite nation?
A. Expla-Nation!

Q. What is the difference between publishers and terrorists?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q. Where did the lawyer set a precident defending his author client's rights?
A. In the Book Case.

Q. What has a spine, but no bones?
A. A book, although some authors disagree.

Q. What is big and gray, and writes poems?
A. T.S. Elephant.

Why are astronauts successful? Because they always go up in the world!What do you call it when you finally delete the superfluous stuff from your list? Omission accomplished!Q. Which magazine does the big bad wolf read? A. Porks Illustrated!

Q. What's the difference between an astronaut and a cosmonaut?
A. Astronauts take it slow and easy, but cosmonauts are always rushin'.

Q. Why can't astronauts stay in a long-term relationship?
A. Because they always need their space.

Q. Why do astronauts always have the best opinions?
A. Because they have the best perspective.

#1 Writer's Rule: Remember double negatives are always a NO, NO!

Q. What did the Sharpie pen ask the pencil?
A. Yeah, so what's your point?

Q. What did the sheet of paper say to the pencil?
A. Write On!

Q. What did the pencil shapener say to the pencil?
A. Stop going around in circles, and just get to the point!

Point to Ponder: If Horrible and Horrific are the same thing, then why are Terrible and Terrific the complete opposite?

Scientific Breakthrough Point to Ponder: Scientists have discovered a way to make dolphins invisible, but skeptics do not see the porpoise.

Q. What did scientists get when they crossed a chicken and a golden retriever?
A. A fowl bitch.

Q. Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? A. The scientists were brainstorming!Q. What do you call a newspaper worker who makes corrections in an uneven way? A. A choppy editor!What do you get if you cross a student and an alien? Somethig from another university!

Q. Which element is derived from a thunderous Norse god?
A. Thorium!

Scientists believe that the Yellowstone super volcano is overdue for an eruption, and they're calling it Eruptile Dysfunction.

Q. What is the fastest way to determine the gender of a chromosome?
A. Pull down its genes!

#2 Writer's Rule: Avoid cliches like the plague!

Q. What did the captive reader think about the new book about the Stockholm Syndrome?
A. The first few chapters were awful, but by the end, he loved it.

Q. What do you call a librarian in South America who's always in a hurry?
A. Urgent Tina.

Did you hear that scientists have discovered a planet that's entirely populated by robots? Yeah, it's called Mars!

Q. Why are there no cats on Mars?
A. 'Cause Curiosity killed them all!

Out of This World Point to Ponder: If Elon Musk made love to a woman while on his rocket to Mars, would you call that space sex on SpaceX?

Q. What do planets like to read? A. Comet Books!Did you hear about the popular chemistry teacher? He atom down to a science!Why do all the other letters of the alphabet hate hanging out with N? A. Because it has to be the center of atteNtion!

Q. Why is Saturn such a catchy name for a planet?
A. 'Cause it has a real ring to it!

Q. What do they call money on Superman's home planet?
A. Kryptocurrency.

Q. What do boobs and the sun have in common?
A. You can look at them longer if you're wearing sunglasses!

Q. What do the sun and a stripper have in common?
A. Both circle the pole.

Q. Why are Nuclei and Electrons the original hipsters of the Universe?
A. 'Cause they were hydrogen before it was cool.

Q. Why do chemistry professors like to teach about ammonia?
A. Because it's basic material.

Q. How is bread like the sun?
A. It rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist.

Q. Which brand of underwear does the sun wear?
A. Kelvin Kline.

Teacher: What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?
Student: G.
Teacher: And, why is that, Angus?

Q. What's the difference between a cat and a comma?
A. One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other has a pause at the end of a clause.

Q. How do you spell mousetrap?
A. C-A-T!

Elementary Education Point to Ponder: If the No. 2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |


PainfulPuns Home
You've studied this much, so here's more sharp laughter, brilliant humor,
bookish
jokes, and wily painful puns that'll bend your mind:

More Deft Painful Puns, Ace Groaner Jokes, and Apt Unanswered Riddles...

| Dumb Blonde Jokes | Stupid Bar Jokes | Astute Colorado Jokes | Gnome Nonsense | Clever Hipster Jokes |
| Guy Smarts | Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | Acute Medical Puns | Musical Genius Jokes | Smart Ass Pick-Up Lines |
| Mind-Bending Painful Puns | Mind-Boggling Riddles | Mind-Numbing Shrink Puns | On the Ball Sports Jokes |
| Smart Techie Jokes | Savvy Travel Jokes | Dumb Weed Jokes | Shrew-d Witch Puns | Brainy Zombie Jokes |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Work Humor, Joking on the Job Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.