When the teacher lectured avout leafy green veggies, the pupil learned a chard lesson!   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

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Q. Why did the students eat their homework? A. the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Q. Where do bananas go to learn? A. Sundae school!
Q. What did the pencil say to paper on Valentine's Day? A. A I Dot My i On You!
Q. What did the student say when a surprise written exam was announced? A. Is there a proctor in the house?
Q. Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school? A. His heart wasn't in it!
Q. What did the calculator say to a pencil on Valentine's Day? A. You can always count on me!
Did you hear about the new flooring at the daycare center? It's called infant tile!

 


Book Puns, Smart Jokes, School Holiday Humor
Clever quips, brainy puns, bright school humor and smart holiday jokes do spell out laughter.

Clever Jokes, School Humor, Brainy-Ache Puns
(Because Ingenious Humor, Genius Jokes, and Smart Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Clever Students!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Keen student humor, book jokes, apt pupil laughs and school holiday puns ahead.
| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |

Q. What did the author say when the novel was finally finished? A. "It's a long story."Q. Which part of math does a cow enjoy most? A. Mootiplication!Q. Who will write the pop star's official biography? A. The writer she authorizes!

Q. What did the sketchbook say when the novel asked a question?
A. I'm drawing a blank.

Q. Is there one word that uses all the vowels including y?
A. Unquestionably!

Q. Why are first books so afraid of their sequels?
A. 'Cause they always come after them...

Q. What do you call dudes who love math?
A. Algebros.

Q. Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school?
A. Because she sprained her angle.

Q. What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A. A mathematician needs paper, pencil, and a trash can for his work. A philosopher doesn't need the trash can.

Today's Point to Ponder: If a picture's worth a thousand words, then why shouldn't we judge a book by its cover?

Romance Novel Drivel of the Day: Is it "A woman, without her man, is nothing" or "A woman: without her, man is nothing"?

Q. Who won in the argument between the pencil and the pencil sharpener?
A. The sharpener made a better point.

Q. How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb? A. Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is!Did you hear about the self-help book about giving vehement rants? It teaches all the tricks of the tirade!Q. What is a Thesaurus' Favorite Dessert? A. Synonym Buns

Q. Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon?
A. Because he was a paleontologist!

Q. What happened when the wheel was invented?
A. It caused a revolution!

There are two types of people in the world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.

Q. Who authored the popular self-help book, How to Say NO?
A. Shirl E. Knott.

Q. What do you call a vicious argument between two pencils?
A. A gra-fight!

Q. What do you say when you're comforting the grammer police?
A. Their, They're, There...

Q. Who wrote the book, Spicing Up a Dull Day?
A. Hal A. Penio.

Q. Why does an accountant at a restaurant have to be so careful?
A. To ensure the books are not cooked.

Q. Why aren't pencils made with erasers on both ends?
A. 'Cause that's pointless!

Q. Which is the most important subject in witch school? A. Spelling!Q. Why did the vampire read the Wall Street Journal? A. He heard it had the best circulation!If an athlete gets athlet's foot, what does an astronaut get? Mistle Toe!

Q. Why was the book of incantations useless?
A. 'Cause the author failed to do a spell check.

Q. Why was the warlock so bad at math?
A. He never knew witch equation to use.

Q. What is a little witch's favorite subject in school?
A. Spelling.

Q. Why was the broom late to school?
A. 'Cause it over-swept!

Q. Why did the astronaut take a broom into space?
A. To clean up the stardust.

Q. What did the exclamation point ask the period?
A. "Why aren't you bleeding?"

Q. Which kind of exam did Count Dracula give his class?
A. A blood test.

Q. What did the ghost teacher say to the confused class?
A. Please look at the board, and I'll go through it again.

Q. Which section of the library should you avoid if you're afraid of snakes?
A. Hisss-tory.

Q. Which day of the week makes werewolves howl?
A. MoonDay.

Q. Which planetary body is full of cows?
A. The MOOn!

Q. What do you call a loony space man?
A. An AstroNut!

Q. What do you get if you cross a lamb and a rocket?
A. A Space Sheep!

Literate Point to Ponder: Dinosaurs did not read. Now they're extinct.

Q. What do you call Santa's helpers? A. Subordinate Clauses!Q. What do you call an incomplete Christams sentence? A. Satna Clause!Q. What's the difference between the Xmas aphabet and teh regular alphabet? A. Christmas alphabet has Noel!

Q. What happened when the Easter Bunny was naughty at school?
A. He was eggs-spelled.

Q. Why do writers always feel cold?
A. 'Cause they're surrounded by so many drafts!

Q. Why should you never leave out 288 cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve?
A. Because that's two gross!

Q. What does a novel do during the winter months?
A. It puts on a book jacket.

Q. What do elves in training do when they get home from school?
A. Gnome Work.

Q. Why did Santa take 22 reindeer to Walmart?
A. What he was buying cost around 20 bucks, but he thought it wise to bring along some extra doe.

Q. Why did the student's grades go down after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!

Q. How many letters are in the angelic Christmas alphabet?
A. Only 25. It has no 'ELL.

Q. What do you call a bratty punk who doesn't believe in Santa?
A. A rebel without a Claus.

Q. What do you learn at Santa's helper school? A. The Elf-a-bet!Q. Did Rudolph the reindeer go to school? A. No, he was elf-taught!Q. Why did Santa send his daughter to college? A. To keep her off the North Pole!

Q. What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the normal alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NO L!

Q. Who wrote the cool year end best-seller, Last Twelfth?
A. Dees M Burr.

Q. What is a young elf's favorite class at North Pole Elementary School?
A. Snow and Tell.

Q. What is the best reading material in the woods?
A. Poet-tree.

Q. Which of Santa's reindeer was the smartest?
A. Rudolph, 'cause he nose it all.

Q. Which is Emily Dickinson's favorite reindeer?
A. Dasher.

Q. What do you call Santa's helpers?
A. Subordinant clauses.

Q. Why are Santa's helpers lacking in musical discipline?
A. They're all elf taught!

Santa and his wife wanted to split up, but there are no divorce lawyers at the North Pole. So, they got a semicolon instead; they're great for separating independent Clauses.

Q. What do you call an incomplete sentence relating to the Christmas holiday?
A. A Santa Clause.

Q. What do the moons around Neptune say during the winter?
A. We're freezing our axis off!

| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |


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