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Book
Puns, Smart Jokes, School Holiday Humor
Clever quips, brainy puns, bright school
humor and smart holiday jokes do spell out laughter.
Clever
Jokes, School Humor, Brainy-Ache Puns
(Because Ingenious Humor, Genius
Jokes, and Smart Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream
for Clever Students!) |
Warning:
Proceed with Caution! Keen student humor, book jokes, apt pupil
laughs and school holiday puns ahead.
| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | 7 | 8
| 9 | Brainiac
Puns | Brain Jokes | 2
|
| School Jokes, Student Puns | Teacher
Jokes | Author Jokes | Poetry
Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Book Title Puns | Librarian
Jokes, Library Humor | Grammar
Jokes | Letter Puns |
| Museum Puns | Archaeology
Jokes and Paleontology Puns | Geology
Jokes | Engineer Jokes |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Humor
| Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry
Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather
| Eco Jokes | Moon
Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars
Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor,
Cosmolgy Puns | Sun Puns
| Ancient Astronaut Jokes |
| Q.
What did the sketchbook say when the novel asked a question?
A. I'm drawing a blank.
Q.
Is there one word that uses all the vowels including y?
A. Unquestionably!
Q.
Why are first books so afraid of their sequels?
A. 'Cause they always come after them... |
Q.
What do you call dudes who love math?
A. Algebros.
Q.
Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school?
A. Because she sprained her angle.
Q.
What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A. A mathematician needs paper, pencil, and a trash can
for his work. A philosopher doesn't need the trash can.
|
Today's
Point to Ponder: If a picture's worth a thousand words,
then why shouldn't we judge a book by its cover?
Romance
Novel Drivel of the Day: Is it "A woman, without
her man, is nothing" or "A woman: without
her, man is nothing"?
Q.
Who won in the argument between the pencil and the pencil
sharpener?
A. The sharpener made a better point. |
| Q.
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon?
A. Because he was a paleontologist!
Q.
What happened when the wheel was invented?
A. It caused a revolution!
There
are two types of people in the world. Those who can extrapolate
from incomplete data. |
Q.
Who authored the popular self-help book, How to Say
NO?
A. Shirl E. Knott.
Q.
What do you call a vicious argument between two pencils?
A. A gra-fight!
Q.
What do you say when you're comforting the grammer police?
A. Their, They're, There...
|
Q.
Who wrote the book, Spicing Up a Dull Day?
A. Hal A. Penio.
Q.
Why does an accountant at a restaurant have to be so careful?
A. To ensure the books are not cooked.
Q.
Why aren't pencils made with erasers on both ends?
A. 'Cause that's pointless! |
| Q.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
A. 'Cause the author failed to do a spell check.
Q.
Why was the warlock so bad at math?
A. He never knew witch equation to use.
Q.
What is a little witch's favorite subject in school?
A. Spelling.
Q.
Why was the broom late to school?
A. 'Cause it over-swept!
Q.
Why did the astronaut take a broom into space?
A. To clean up the stardust. |
Q.
What did the exclamation point ask the period?
A. "Why aren't you bleeding?"
Q.
Which kind of exam did Count Dracula give his class?
A. A blood test.
Q.
What did the ghost teacher say to the confused class?
A. Please look at the board, and I'll go through it again.
Q.
Which section of the library should you avoid if you're
afraid of snakes?
A. Hisss-tory. |
Q.
Which day of the week makes werewolves howl?
A. MoonDay.
Q.
Which planetary body is full of cows?
A. The MOOn!
Q.
What do you call a loony space man?
A. An AstroNut!
Q.
What do you get if you cross a lamb and a rocket?
A. A Space Sheep!
Literate
Point to Ponder: Dinosaurs did not read. Now they're extinct.
|
| Q.
What happened when the Easter Bunny was naughty at school?
A. He was eggs-spelled.
Q.
Why do writers always feel cold?
A. 'Cause they're surrounded by so many drafts!
Q.
Why should you never leave out 288 cookies for Santa on
Christmas Eve?
A. Because that's two gross! |
Q.
What does a novel do during the winter months?
A. It puts on a book jacket.
Q.
What do elves in training do when they get home from school?
A. Gnome Work.
Q.
Why did Santa take 22 reindeer to Walmart?
A. What he was buying cost around 20 bucks, but he thought
it wise to bring along some extra doe.
|
Q.
Why did the student's grades go down after the holidays?
A. Because everything was marked down!
Q.
How many letters are in the angelic Christmas alphabet?
A. Only 25. It has no 'ELL.
Q.
What do you call a bratty punk who doesn't believe in Santa?
A. A rebel without a Claus. |
| Q.
What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and
the normal alphabet?
A. The Christmas alphabet has NO L!
Q.
Who wrote the cool year end best-seller, Last Twelfth?
A. Dees M Burr.
Q.
What is a young elf's favorite class at North Pole Elementary
School?
A. Snow and Tell.
Q.
What is the best reading material in the woods?
A. Poet-tree. |
Q.
Which of Santa's reindeer was the smartest?
A. Rudolph, 'cause he nose it all.
Q.
Which is Emily Dickinson's favorite reindeer?
A. Dasher.
Q.
What do you call Santa's helpers?
A. Subordinant clauses.
Q.
Why are Santa's helpers lacking in musical discipline?
A. They're all elf taught!
|
Santa
and his wife wanted to split up, but there are no divorce
lawyers at the North Pole. So, they got a semicolon instead;
they're great for separating independent Clauses.
Q.
What do you call an incomplete sentence relating to the
Christmas holiday?
A. A Santa Clause.
Q.
What do the moons around Neptune say during the winter?
A. We're freezing our axis off! |
|
Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | 7 | 8
| 9 | Brainiac
Puns | Brain Jokes | 2
|
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom
Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor
Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library
Humor | 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| Poetry Jokes |
Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns,
Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes
and Library Humor |
| Grammar Jokes, Punctuation Humor
| Letter of the Alphabet Puns |
Eco Environmetal Jokes |
| Museum Puns | Archaeology
Jokes and Paleontology Puns | Geology
Jokes | Engineer Jokes |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns
| 2 | Science
Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes
| Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather
| 2 | 3
| 4 | Moon
Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars
Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor
| 2 | 3
| 4 | 5
| 6 | Sun
Puns | Ancient Astronaut Jokes
|
You've made the grade this
far, so here are more lessons
in laughter,
clever humor, first
class jokes, and pert
painful puns that'll promote
smiles:
|
More
Deft Painful Puns, Ace Groaner Jokes, and Apt Unanswered Riddles...
|
Dumb Blonde Jokes | Stupid
Bar Jokes | Astute Colorado Jokes
| Gnome Nonsense | Clever
Hipster Jokes |
| Guy Smarts | Brilliant
Light Bulb Jokes | Acute Medical Puns
| Musical Genius Jokes | Smart
Ass Pick-Up Lines |
| Mind-Bending Painful Puns |
Mind-Boggling Riddles | Mind-Numbing
Shrink Puns | On the Ball Sports Jokes
|
| Smart Techie Jokes | Savvy
Travel Jokes | Dumb Weed Jokes | Shrew-d
Witch Puns | Brainy Zombie Jokes
|
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for stopping by and see you again soon!
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Painfulpuns.com 
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