Data Asks: Have you rea the book, The Positronic Brain? It's by Anne Droid!   PainfulPuns.com - Smart Humor, Science Puns, Math Jokes, Pi!

PainfulPuns Home
Animal Puns, Wildlife Humor
Bartender Puns, Bar Humor
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes!
Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor
Clucking Funny Farm Animal Puns
Edible Puns, Fun with Food
Frightful Puns, Scary Jokes
Garden Puns, Green Groaners
Gnome Puns Intended
Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns
Monstrously Funny Puns
Work Humor, Joking on the Job
Old Jokes & Old Never Die Puns
Painful Puns, Punny Funs
Pet Puns + Jokes = Funny Pet Peeves
Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons
Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs
Smart Humor! Science + Math = Puns
Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

And while you're here,
please take a moment to
visit our sponsors:


Did you hear about the self-help book about giving vehement rants? It teaches all the tricks of the tirade!
Q. What do you call the group of scientists who name the tiny things inside atos? A. Particle Board!
Author Un Gnome

 


Genius Jokes, Smart Laughs, Literary Puns
Cleverly worded puns, book smart humor, and nerdy math jokes do add up to laughing out loud!

Clever Jokes, Brainiac Puns, Nerd Humor
('Cause Intellectual Humor, Genius Jokes, and Smart Ass Puns Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in Any AP Class!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Brainiac academic jokes, book worm humor, and whip-smart math puns ahead.
| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |

Q. Which word is always spelled wrong in the dictionary? A. Wrong!Fruity Chemistry Joke: What did a science teacher say Ba + Na2 is? A. Banana!If a poet ascends in an elevator, can you say the bard has been raised?

Q. Why does an elephant use his trunk as a bookmark?
A. So he nose where he stopped reading.

Q. Which vegetables do librarians like?
A. Quiet Peas!

Writing Fact of the Day: A pencil is not prone to making Freudian slips, but a pen is.

Q. Where do poems come from?
A. Poe-Trees.

Q. Why didn't the chemistry teacher ever tell jokes?
A. He was afraid he wouldn't get a good reaction.

Q. What kind of fish is made of two sodium atoms?
A. 2 Na.

Q. What is a chemist's favorite plant?
A. Stoichome-tree.

Prince Harry: Don't you know the Queen's English?
Unimpressed Blonde He Didn't Marry: Why yes, I've heard she is!

Q. Why do hep cats avoid the book, Raising Dogs at the library?
A. 'Cause it's a pup-up book!

Teacher: How many books have you read in your lifetime?
Student: I dunno. I'm not dead yet.

Q. Where do planets and stars go to study? A. The University!Q. Which novel segment is most relevant to the book's plot? A. The apter chapter!Q. What do you call it when a weatherman predicts wind speeds? A. Best gust-imates!

Q. Why did the kid want to be an astronaut?
A. 'Cause his parents told him the sky is the limit!

Q. What does an astronaut use to keep his feet warm?
A. A Space Heater!

Q. What do you say to a hot astronaut?
A. Back that NASA up!

Q. Remove my first letter and I sound the same. Remove my last letter and I sound the same. Remove my middle letter and I still sound the same. What am I?
A. Empty!

Q. Why did the book go to the hospital?
A. 'Cause it hurt its spine.

Q. What is it called when someone has been suffocated by a book?
A. Murder, literally.

Did you hear about the man who got cooled down to absolute zero? He's OK now...

Q. Who did not write the book, Cousin Hurricane?
A. Ty F. Une.

Q. What did a conservative biologist say?
A. The only cleavage I want to see is at the cellular level.

A book never written: Pain Management by Nova CaneQ. What did the triangle say to the circle? A. You're pointless!Q. How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb? A. Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and one to give it a surprising twist at the end!

The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

Q. What happened when scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person's stride?
A. The results were staggering.

Q. What do you call a physically enhancing drug that originated in outer space?
A. Asteroids.

Parallel lines have so much in common. It's a shame they'll never meet.

Q. Why did the 30-60-90 degree triangle marry the 45-45-90 degree triangle?
A. Because they were right for each other.

Q. What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a tree?
A. Arithme-sticks.

Q. Which tool might you need in math class?
A. Multi-pliers.

Q. How many cover blurb writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A. A vast and teeming horde stretching from sea to shining sea!

Q. How do poets say Hello?
A. Hey, haven't we metaphor?

Q. Which hand is it better to write with?
A. Neither. It's best to write with a pen.

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Nevermind. It's tear-able.

Did you hear about the math teacher who taught multiplication a number of times?Have you read the book, Damn It Jim? It's by Ima Doctor and Nada Bricklayer.A book never written: Dental Examination by Hope N Wide

I just saw my math teacher with some graph paper. I think he may be plotting something...

Q. Why is it so dangerous to do math in the jungle?
A. 'Cause when you add 4 and 4, you get ate!

Q. Which snakes are the best at math?
A. Adders.

Q. Why do plants hate math?
A. Because it gives them square roots.

Q. Why was the new book about teleportation a best seller?
A. 'Cause it's bound to get you somewhere.

Q. What happened when the guy started reading a book about designing crop circles in corn mazes?
A. He got lost in it.

Q. Why didn't the kid try to check out The Cat In The Hat from the school library?
A. 'Cause he didn't think Dr. Seuss made house calls.

Today's Point to Ponder: It's great to be Awesome! So, why is it bad to be Awful?

Q. Why didn't the nose want to go to school today?
A. It was tired of being picked on.

Cheesy Writing Point to Ponder: If you put a cheddar cheese stick in a pencil sharpener, would it come out sharp or shredded?

Q. What does a mathematician with constipation do?
A. He works it out with a pencil.

| Brainy Jokes & Smart Puns | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Brainiac Puns | Brain Jokes | 2 |
| School Jokes, Student Puns, Classroom Humor | Teacher Jokes, Professor Puns, EDU Humor |
| Author Jokes, Literary Puns, Library Humor | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Poetry Jokes | Author Unknown |
| Book Jokes, Ficticious Book Title Puns, Apt Author LOLs | Librarian Jokes and Library Humor |
| Science Jokes and Scientist Puns | 2 | Science Pick-Up Lines | Chemistry Jokes | Physics Puns |
| Math Jokes | Weather Puns | 2 | 3 | Moon Jokes | Planet Puns | Mars Jokes | Mars Rover Jokes |
| Astronaut Jokes, Outer Space Humor, Cosmology Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Ancient Astronauts |


PainfulPuns Home
You've booked this far, so here's even more keen laughter, brainy jokes,
high brow humor, and shrewd painful puns that'll make the mark:

More Deft Painful Puns, Ace Groaner Jokes, and Apt Unanswered Riddles...

| Dumb Blonde Jokes | Stupid Bar Jokes | Astute Colorado Jokes | Gnome Nonsense | Clever Hipster Jokes |
| Guy Smarts | Brilliant Light Bulb Jokes | Acute Medical Puns | Musical Genius Jokes | Smart Ass Pick-Up Lines |
| Mind-Bending Painful Puns | Mind-Boggling Riddles | Mind-Numbing Shrink Puns | On the Ball Sports Jokes |
| Smart Techie Jokes | Savvy Travel Jokes | Dumb Weed Jokes | Shrew-d Witch Puns | Brainy Zombie Jokes |

Funny Riddles, Punny Answers! Sick Puns, Healthy Laughs Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Ouch!
Work Humor, Joking on the Job Sharp Pick-Up Lines, Cheesy Come-Ons Tech Jokes, PC Puns & Net Ouch!

Thanks for stopping by and see you again soon!

Join us on social media and please feel free to share our memes with friends and family:
PainfulPuns at Facebook PainfulPuns at Twitter PainfulPuns at Pinterest

©2017-2020 Painfulpuns.com PainfulPuns.com Logo Man All rights reserved.