A friend annoys me with bad puns, but toucan play at that game!   PainfulPuns.com - Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What does a barefoot man get if he steps on an electric wire? A. A pair of shocks!
Q. What do you call hipster slang in Berlin? A. German-ology!

 


Painful Puns, Funny Word Play, Harsh Humor
Punch up your funny bone with groaner jokes, prickly word play humor, and head-slapping puns.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ouch!
(Because the Itching and Burning of Painful Puns That Cramp Your Style Could Never Be TOO Mainstream!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! Funny bone protection advised! Tech Knuckle Puns Ahead...
| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |

A baby seal walks into a bar. Bartender asks: "What can I get you?" Seal replies: "Anything but a Canadian club."Toilet Meme: A good relief map shows where the restrooms are.A guy was always leaving himself voicemail messages, he was so self-sendered!

A grasshopper hops into a bar. Bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." Grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducked, or was he a duck?

Q. What is supposedly unknown, but actually well-documented fact.
A. Open secret.

Today's Pun Fact to Groan About: Toilet Paper. What a rip off!

Punny Point to Ponder in the Potty: Life is a lot like toilet paper. You're either on a roll, or you're taking a load of sh*t from some asshole...

Crappy Groan of the Day: In life, as on the toilet, the job isn't done until the paperwork is finished.

Q. What did Bruce Banner say to Spider Man?
A. "Don't bug me."

Q. Why does Bruce Banner get so angry at David Banner?
A. Because multi-tasking pisses him off!

Q. What can you do if nobody is showing any sympathy for a miserable fellow?
A. Say, "Let's get this pity started!"

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before. Two surgeons were joking about sutures and had each other in stitches.Scrambling for an egg joke, but I can't seem to whip one up.

Q. What do you get from a forgetful cow?
A. Milk of Amnesia.

Q. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
A. Because they lactose!

Q. How does a cow become virtually invisible?
A. She uses camooflage.

Did you hear about the circumcision doctor? He slipped and got the sack. OUCH!

Q. What did the unhappy guy say after his limb replacement surgery was botched?
A. I'll kill 'em with my bear hand!

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now!

Q. What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement truck?
A. A brick layer.

Q. Why don't chickens like people?
A. Because they beat eggs.

Q. Why are original chicken jokes so funny?
A. Because they're made up from scratch.

They served lunch at the auto repair shop, but I didn't eat it because it was full of carbs.After Punching His Computer and Breaking His Hand, the Guy Required Tech Knuckle Support.Gnome Improvement

Q. How many auto mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Six. One to force it with a hammer and five to go out for more bulbs.

Q. What do you need to become an expert mechanic?
A. Fine motor skills.

Did you hear about the unfashionable mechanic? He really needed to change attire!

There are only two hard things in computer science: cache invalidation, naming things, and off-by-one errors.

Q. What happened to the blogger that stole a computer?
A. He was RSS-ted!

Q. What is the most popular computer search engine for ghosts?
A. GHOULgle!

Gnome Improvement. I'd hate to see the before photo.

Q. Why are little garden elves such huge baseball fans?
A. They enjoy the gnome runs.

Q. What happened when the gnome comedian told his best gardening joke?
A. The audience soiled themselves.

Gnome wonder you're laughingQ. Where do mice put their dead to rest? A. MouseoleumSick Humor: They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.

There's gnome time like the present... past and future. Who gnew gnomes are, were, will be time travelers?

Gnome wonder you're laughing, but gnow he gno.

Old cleaning people never die. They just kick the bucket.

Q. How do you save a drowning rodent?
A. With mouse to mouse resuscitation!

Blood is thicker than water, but it makes lousy lemonade.
– Alfred E. Neuman

BTW, always remember that blood is thicker than water – and a lot harder to get out of carpeting.

| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |


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You're taking this swell, so here's more agonizing laughter, galling jokes,
nagging humor, and painfully swolen puns to prick your funny bone:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Puns | Blonde Jokes | Cheese Puns | Colorado Jokes | Diet Groans | Gym Moans | Magical Puns |
| Musician Puns | Old Jokes | Pet Puns | Pun Pick-Up Lines | Painful Groaner Jokes | Policeman Puns |
| Scary Funny Puns | Sci-Fi Funs | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Puns | Weedy Fun | Zombie Groans |

Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Monstrously Funny Puns Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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