Q. What do you call that feeling you get when you see a cop car in your rear view mirror? A. Cop sick shock syndrome!   PainfulPuns.com - Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What do you call a frugal coin making tool? A. Penny Puncher!
Did you hear about the hillarious locksmith? He had a keen sense of humor!
Q. What kind of shoes do spies wear? A. Sneakers!
My friend's bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.
Puzzled chimp says: He said his non-alcoholic beer was delicioius, but I said he had no proof!

 


Painful Puns, Biting Groaners, Punny Word Play
Torture yourself giddy with lame groaner jokes, funny word play, and sorely painful puns.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ouch!
(Because Puns So Painful That Body Armor is Required Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in a Joke War!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Funny bone protection advised! Jarring jokes and barley legal puns ahead.
| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |

With that last eye pun, you made a true spectacle of yourself!If you've left a fingerprint behind, you most certainly have given it a whorl!Q. What does a barefoot man get if he steps on an electric wire? A. A pair of shocks!

Q. Why did the eye doctor give new patients Magic Eye puzzles?
A. As an eyes breaker!

Q. Why do optometrists live such long lives?
A. Because they dilate.

Q. Which kind of humor do optometrists appreciate the most?
A. Eye-ronic puns!

Q. What will you find in a clean nose?
A. Fingerprints.

Q. Who wrote the sleuthing handbook, How to Solve a Crime?
A. Mr. E.

Q. Why did a book join the police department?
A. It wanted to go under cover.

Q. Why are electricians always so shockingly up to date?
A. Because they're current specialists.

Q. What is an electrician's favorite flavor of ice cream?
A. Shock-a-lot. OUCH!

Powerful Pick-Up Line: Let an electrician remove your shorts!

Did you hear about the archer's new cologne? It was arrow-matic!Q. Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? A. Because then it would be a foot!Hulk Says: When I asked my girl if she wanted a ring made of silver or gold, she said either ore!

Q. What happened when a blonde shot an arrow in the air?
A. She missed!

Q. What did the lustful fair maiden say to the handome archer?
A. You make me quiver.

Q. Why didn't the blonde take up shadow boxing?
A. She didn't want to knock herself out!

Q. Why is your nose right in the middle of your face?
A. Because it's the scenter of attraction.

Q. What will you always find inside a clean nose?
A. Fingerprints.

Q. Why was the nose so sad?
A. Because it never got picked.

The Hulk does not have a girlfriend, but he does know a woman who'd be mad at him for saying that.

Q. What does The Hulk do to earn a living?
A. He flips houses.

Painful Point to Ponder: So, The Incredible Hulk is Coming? He must have a hot girlfriend.

Q. What did father buffalo say to his boy when he left for college? A. Bison, CU later!Q. What do you call somebody who finds jobs for cabbage? A. A head hunter!Q. What do you call an eye doctor in Alaska? A. An optical Aleutian!

Q. Which Colorado craft beer is popular at CU Boulder?
A. Barley Legal Ale.

Q. What do you call a single bison in upstate New York?
A. Buffa-lonely.

Q. Why did the cabbage win the race?
A. Because it was a head!

Murphy's Slaw: If Cabbage can go rotten, it will.

Q. How does a farmer mend his pants?
A. With a cabbage patch.

Q. Who is Transylvania's most famous eye doctor?
A. Count Macula!

Q. What did Sherlock Holmes say to his eye doctor?
A. Eye guess you've closed the lid on this one.

Q. What do you get if you cross an optometrist convention and a donkey auction? A. Two eye-gl-asses for the price of one!Q. What did the blanket say to the bed? A. Don't worry, I've got you covered!Junk Food Asks: What do you call food that's crunchy and noisy to eat? Audio Victuals!

Q. What do you call a donkey with a banjo?
A. Bluegr-ass.

Q. What do you get if you cross a donkey and an onion?
A. A piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye!

Q. Who stole the sheets right off the mattress?
A. Bed Bugglers!

Q. What did the doctor say when the witch said she didn't feel well?
A. Just go to bed for a spell!

Q. How do you know you're getting close to a snack food factory?
A. Because of all the chips and dips in the road.

Q. Why should you always bring a bag of tortilla chips to a party?
A. In queso emergency.

Chimp Asks: What kind of button won't unbutton? A. A belly button!Q. What did one hat say to another? A. You stay here. I'll go on a head!Q. What do you call it when you take pictures of the sprite in the tempest? A. Ariel Photography!

Q. Why did the robot love his mistress?
A. She really knew how to push his buttons.

I gave my stressed-out friend some buttons, but he still couldn't pull himself together... He just snapped.

Q. What's strong enough to hold The Hulk back?
A. His zipper.

Q. What did the bra say to the hat?
A. You go on a head, while I give these two a lift.

Q. What did the tie say to the hat?
A. You go ahead. I'll just hang around.

Q. Where do crazy designers of wild headwear live?
A. Mad-hattan.

Q. How can you tell your turtle is a prolific photographer?
A. He's a Snapping Turtle.

Q. Why did the blonde have to give up her career as a photographer?
A. She just couldn't stay focused.

Fine Art Point to Ponder: If you photograph your pimples, is zit art?

| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |


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You're not sore yet, so here's more troublesome laughter, awful jokes,
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| Musician Puns | Old Jokes | Pet Puns | Pun Pick-Up Lines | Painful Groaner Jokes | Policeman Puns |
| Scary Funny Puns | Sci-Fi Funs | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Puns | Weedy Fun | Zombie Groans |

Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Monstrously Funny Puns Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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