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Q. Why should you never take a pea from a pirate? A. Because he'll become irate!
Happy Pun Day!
Q. How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? A. SEX!
Old Cooks Never Die, They Just Get Deranged
My optometrist always has a few insightful puns to break the eyes!

 


Painful Puns, Groaners, Excruciating Jokes
Face palm yourself silly with painful groaner jokes, word play humor, and knee-slapping puns.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ouch!
(Because Groaner Jokes and Puns That Hurt So Good Could Never Be TOO Mainstream in the Humor Badlands!)
Warning: Proceed with Due Caution! Horrible humor, dreadful jokes, and orange-full puns ahead.
| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |

When taking your car out in inclement weather, always make sure it's driving rain!Did you hear about the couple getting married who had a minor dispute? It soon turned into an altar-cation!It's easy to see that these eye puns are painful. Coldly, we do it just to break the eyes!

Q. What do you call iron when it's blowing in the wind?
A. FE-Breeze.

Q. Why does lightning always shock people?
A. Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.

Q. How do you know if you're having circus weather today?
A. The heat is in tents.

Q. Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
A. Because he'll dessert you!

Q. Is Google male or female?
A. We're guessing female because she never lets you finish a sentence without making a suggestion?

Q. What is the name of the deep kisser's dating site?
A. French Connection.

People who look at their butt in the mirror and see a wild boar may be suffering from an eye condition called Asspigmatism.

Q. What does an eye doctor say when his puppy acts up?
A. Eye Chihuahua!

Q. How did the amazing carpenter cut a piece of wood just by looking at it?
A. He saw it with his own eye.

What rhymes with orange? A. No, it doesn't!Q. What's the best way to charge a car battery? A. With a credit card!Did you hear about the guy who just stepped in quicksand? Te urgency of the situation hadn't sunk in!

Orange you glad you you didn't miss this pun?

Q. Why do Denver Broncos fans wear orange?
A. No rhyme, nor reason.

Q. Why are orange jokes so dumb?
A. Because oranges are afraid to concentrate.

Q. Why did the blonde call AAA when her laptop battery died?
A. Well, duh!

Did you hear about the guy who got mad when his phone battery died? His shrink said he needed to find an outlet.

Q. How are a bull and a battery alike?
A. Both charge!

Q. Why do they call it quicksand?
A. Because when you're stuck in it, your whole life flashes in front of you – really fast!

Q. Can you pull yourself out of quicksand?
A. Sometimes... Glub, glub, glub... and sometimes NO.

Q. How did the crappy plumber die?
A. He committed sewer-cide.

Hulk Asks: What do you call a workout facility infested with harmful bugs? A. A germ-nasium!Q. Why are pirates leary of olcanoes? A. Because of the pirate-clastic flows!The Vikings were always glad to be home after a long rowed trip!

Q. Why won't The Hulk ever have a heart attack?
A. His heart isn't foolish enough to attack him.

Q. Why do Hulk's pants stay on?
A. Because unstable nut-lear decay is Rated X.

Q. How do you make a Pirate furious?
A. Take away his P.

Q. What are the 10 letters in the pirate alphabet?
A. I, I, A and the seven Cs.

Q. How do pirates prefer to communicate?
A. Aye to Aye.

Q. Where did the teacher send the little Viking when he got sick in class?
A. To the Norse.

Q. What do Eric the Red and Smokey the Bear have in common?
A. Both have the same middle name!

Q. Why did a pirate marry his eye doctor? A. It was an aye-deal relationship!Chimp Asks: What is easy to get into, but hard to get out of? A. Trouble!Q. What did a hamburger say to another hamburger in the bathroom? A. I musturd!

Q. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A. FSH.

It's clear to see that opticians are not just in it for the frame and fortune!

It's apparent we'll get 20 lashes for that painful pun!

Q. What did the monkey say after he slid down the flagpole?
A. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!

Q. What do you call an imp that's rushed to the hospital?
A. Impatient.

Q. Why was the hamburger thrown out of the army?
A. Because he couldn't pass the mustard.

Customer: Give me a hot dog.
Waiter: With pleasure.
Customer: No, with mustard!

Q. What do yu call a mediocre deli item? A. Dull Pickle!Q. Which veggie watches over the estate? A. the carrot-taker!Q. What do you call a pig with a rash? A. Ham and Eczema!

Q. What happens if you use pickles instead of a ping pong ball?
A. You get the Volley of the Dills.

Q. When should you shoot pool with a pickle?
A. Only when you find the cue cumbersome.

Q. What was the incontinent farmer's biggest problem?
A. He managed the carrots, but could not control his peas!

Q. Which martial art are carrots best suited for?
A. Carr-o-tee!

Q. Which kind of social gatherings do pigs like the most?
A. Sow-prise parties!

Q. Why did it take the pig hours to cross the road?
A. Because he was a slow pork!

| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |


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You're still asking for it, so here's more biting laughter, miserable jokes,
grueling humor and wretched painful puns to fracture your funny bone:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Puns | Blonde Jokes | Cheese Puns | Colorado Jokes | Diet Groans | Gym Moans | Magical Puns |
| Musician Puns | Old Jokes | Pet Puns | Pun Pick-Up Lines | Painful Groaner Jokes | Policeman Puns |
| Scary Funny Puns | Sci-Fi Funs | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Puns | Weedy Fun | Zombie Groans |

Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Monstrously Funny Puns Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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