How do beat cops greet people on the street?
A. Policed to meet you!
What do non-vegans call a police officer in a sleeping bag?
A. Pig in a blanket.
What did fans say when the comedy club abruptly shut down?
A. This is no laughing matter!
Funny Groaner: I don't mind the snoring, but the drool running
down your chin while you're farting in your sleep is just
Apnea Anecdote: Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Snore,
and you sleep alone.
What do you call it when a tall Lego structure topples over?
A. Tumbling blocks.
What is Deja Brew?
A. When you have to ask you buddy, "Hey, haven't we
been to this pub pun before?"
Pun of the Day: Enjoying a beer is merely the pursuit of
Groaner Moment: If at first you don't succeed, try a bottle
opener. It probably wasn't a twist-top.