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Q. What do you call the ability to see a hundred years into the future? A. Extra-Century Perception!
Q. Why did the barber win the race? A. Because he took a short cut!

 


Painful Puns, Noxious Word Play, Stinky Jokes
Hurt yourself real good with masochistic groaner jokes, word play humor, and rawly funny puns.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ye Ouch!
(Because Puns That The Hulk Considers Painful Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Chuck Norris!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Peril! Smarting jokes, inflamed humor, and festering boils of fun ahead.
| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |

Your pun about TV controllers wasn't even remotely funny.Q. What Do You Get If You Cross a Donkey with an Owl? A. A Smart Ass That Knows It All!The tree trimmers did a great job! They really should take a bough

Did you know The Hulk was angry before it was all the rage?

Q. Why is The Hulk such a good Internet gardener?
A. He always backs up his sage! And, he bides his thyme on Twitter.

Q. Why did the bratty kid finally let go of his sibling's leg?
A. 'Cause she finally yelled, "Ankle!”

Q. What do you get if you cross an owl with a cat?
A. Meowls.

Q. What do you call a baby owl that's out taking a swim?
A. A Moist-owlette.

Q. What do you call a punk brat who questions every request from his parents?
A. A Whys Guy.

For this tree punny one-liner, we had to go out on a limb and branch out to some higher sources.

Q. Why was the decorative backyard tree drooling?
A. Because it was a Dogwood.

Q. Why are tomatoes such notorious procrastinators?
A. They'd rather wait 'til tomato!

Q. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? A. Poultry in Motion.A woman was arrested for having an accident on her cellphone. She was charged with DWI: Driving While Intalksicated.Q. What is a Zebra? A. 25 Sizes Larger Than an A Bra!

Q. Why did the hen cross the road?
A. To prove she wasn't chicken.

We hope one day chickens will all be able to cross the road without being judged on their motives!

Q. What did the chick say to the rooster when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
A. Dad, look what mama-laid!

What a cheesy charge! At her age, she should know feta. Cheddar luck next time, Brie ...

Q. Which civilization actually inspired the invention of the telephone?
A. The Phoenicians.

Q. Which secret society dictates cheese procedures?
A. The Halloumi-nati.

Q. What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A. A zebra.

Q. What do you call a male zebra?
A. ZeBro.

Q. What is the oldest animal known to mankind?
A. The zebra, because it's in black and white.

Q. Where did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend? A. Cloud 9I Gnome the Punch Line!A Girl Said She Recognized Me From the Vegetarian Club, But I'd Never Met Herbivore.

Weather or not this joke is funny:

Q. What's the opposite of a cold front?
A. A warm back.

Q. What does a storm cloud wear under its raincoat?
A. Thunderware!

Pugilist gnome thinks he's some sort of a tough guy.

Q. Which kind of jokes do depressed gnomes like to tell?
A. Elf-depricating puns.

Garden Gnome Trivia: Metro gnomes are always on time.

"There is something missing from my flower bouquet," she said lack-a-daisy-cally.

Q. What do you call a grumpy, short-tempered gardener?
A. A Snap Dragon.

Q. Why did the gardener quit?
A. His celery wasn’t high enough.

Sh*tty Pun: I used to be a sanitation engineer, but the city dumped me.I tried wrapping Christmas presents, but I didn't have the gift.Hard Working Gnome Makes Gnome ¢

Q. How do you describe a jocular sewage joker?
A. Pun Gent!

Q. Why doesn't Chuck Norris have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!

There's one more great sewage pun, but we're going to leave it out because the punch line really stinks.

Bullseye on online holiday shopping, but how do you wrap all those slippery plastic bags on Xmas Eve?

Q. What do you call the wrapping paper after opening gifts?
A. Christ-Mess!

Q. How is Xmas just like your job?
A. You do all the work, and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit!

Gnome meme has a way to go to haul in a pay check.

Q. Why do gnomes make bad rappers?
A. Gnome rhyme, gnor reason.

Q. Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
A. He had a really long Honeydew list.

| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |


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You've stooped this low, so here's even more sore laughter, dreadful jokes,
torturous humor, and painful punny funs to agonize your funny bone:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Puns | Blonde Jokes | Cheese Puns | Colorado Jokes | Diet Groans | Gym Moans | Magical Puns |
| Musician Puns | Old Jokes | Pet Puns | Pun Pick-Up Lines | Painful Groaner Jokes | Policeman Puns |
| Scary Funny Puns | Sci-Fi Funs | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Puns | Weedy Fun | Zombie Groans |

Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Monstrously Funny Puns Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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