Beer-drinking chimps says: When my friend fell asleep at the bar, I poured ale on him. It was a brewed awakening!   PainfulPuns.com - Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What do you call a dentist who doesn't like tea? A. Denis!
Q. How do you help someone who has lost the holiday spirit? A. Nurse them back to elf!
Q. How do you make a hamburger smile? A. Pickle it gently!
A grenade in a French kitchen results in Linoleum Blown Apart.
Q. What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A. A Rebel Without a Claus!

 


Painful Puns, Real Groaners, Face Palm Puns
Whip yourself silly with groaner jokes, horrendous word play humor, and brow-beating puns.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ouch!
(Because Painful Puns That Whip It, Whip It Good, Could Never Be TOO Mainstream at a Souffle Shop!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Forehead protection advised! Slap-happy jokes and face-palm puns ahead.
| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |

Why do all the other letters of the alphabet hate hanging out with N? A. Because it has to be the center of atteNtion!Q. What do you call a ballpark figure spoken in a harsh voice? A. A gruff estimate!Hulk Asks: What do you call it if two seats buckle under you in one day? A. A bad chair day!

Q. Why don't farts ever graduate from high school?
A. Because they're always expelled!

Q. What is grammar?
A. The difference between knowing your sh*t, and knowing you're sh*t.

Q. What do you call a school kid with a dictionary in his blue jeans pocket?
A. Smartie Pants!

Painful Problem of the Day: Dear Algebra, Please stop trying to find your X. She's never coming back, and don't ask Y.

Q. Why didn't the Roman find algebra very challenging?
A. Because X is always 10.

Dear Math, I am not a therapist. Solve your own problems!

Q. What is the secret of Hulk's purple pants?
A. Unstable nut-lear decay.

Q. Why doesn't The Hulk need to style his hair?
A. Because it lays perfectly still out of sheer terror.

Q. What do you call several men waiting in line for a haircut?
A. A barber-cue.

Q. What is the pickle's philosophy of life? A. Never a dill moment!Q. How do you murder a salad? A. Go for the carrot-id artery!Q. What season is it if you're on a trampoline? A. It's Spring Time!

Q. What do you call a pickle that was run over on the highway?
A. Road Dill.

Q. What does a skeptical pickle say?
A. Are you gherkin my chain?

Q. When should you put pickles in your door?
A. When it's ajar!

Did you know any salad can become Caesar salad? Yes, if you stab it enough times... OUDH!

Q. Why do hipsters really dig carrots?
A. Because they're underground.

Did you hear about the carrot detective? He got to the root of every case.

Q. Why did the couple who owned a trampoline store get a divorce?
A. Because their relationship had its ups and downs.

Q. What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A. You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.

That guy who drives an old horse-drawn carriage is such a hansom devil!Q. What kind of crackers do firement like in their soup? A. Firecreackers!Attempting to sell me cold cuts, I get a lot of calls from deli marketers.

Q. What do you give to a sick horse?
A. Cough Stirrup!

Did you hear about the horse with a negative attitude? She always said, "Neigh."

Q. What is a horse's favorite state?
A. Neighbraska!

Q. What hot word starts with the letter F, and ends in UCK?
A. Firetruck!

Q. What did the fire fighter say when the church caught on fire?
A. Holy Smokes!

Puns about sausages are the deli wurst!

Q. What do you give to a dog with a fever?
A. Mustard is always the best thing for a hot dog!

Hot Dog Vendor Pick-Up Line: Hey, are you lookin' at my wiener?

Q. What did the sailors say when the hula dancer performed? A. Hip Hip Hooray!Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? A. he didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!Q. What bow can't be tied? A. A Rainbow!

Did you hear the hot gossip rumor about Kilauea and Mauna Loa? All they ever do is make lava.

Q. What do you get if you cross a hula dancer and a boxer?
A. Hawaiian Punch!

Doctor: What is the condition of the boy who swallowed the quarter?
Nurse: No change yet.

Q. How do you tell the difference between an oral themometer and a rectal thermometer?
A. By the taste. EW!

Q. Which kind of shorts do dark storm clouds wear?
A. Thunderwear.

Q. What is a little tornado's favorite party game?
A. Twister!

Did you hear about the new flooring at the daycare center? It's called infant tile!Q. What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A. A bed!Q. What do you call it when you're photographed with a digital camera? A. Being shot from a canon!

Q. Why were the police called to the daycare center?
A. A three-year-old was resisting a rest!

Q. What did the rug say to the floor?
A. Don't move. I've got you covered!

Low Groan of the Day: No, I didn't fall. The floor just needed a hug!

Q. When is your mind like a rumpled bed?
A. When it isn't made up yet.

Q. Why are rivers called lazy?
A. They seldom leave their beds.

Q. Why did the boy punch his bed?
A. His mother told him it was time to hit the hay.

Q. Why did the blonde smack her camera with a frying pan?
A. She wanted a pan-o-ram-ic shot.

Q. What do you get if you cross a magician and a camera?
A. Hocus Focus!

Q. How are a camera and a condom alike?
A. Both capture magic moments.

| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |


PainfulPuns Home
You're not whipped yet, so here's more tortured laughter, cruel jokes,
throbbing humor, and brutal painful puns that'll crack up your funny bone:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Puns | Blonde Jokes | Cheese Puns | Colorado Jokes | Diet Groans | Gym Moans | Magical Puns |
| Musician Puns | Old Jokes | Pet Puns | Pun Pick-Up Lines | Painful Groaner Jokes | Policeman Puns |
| Scary Funny Puns | Sci-Fi Funs | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Puns | Weedy Fun | Zombie Groans |

Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Monstrously Funny Puns Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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