Bathroom Humor: I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean.   PainfulPuns.com - Painful Puns, Punny Funs, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What do you call a ballpark figure spoken in a harsh voice? A. A gruff estimate!
Q. What do you call a pair of vehicles involved in a plat? A. Two car collusion!

 


Painful Puns, One-Liner Jokes, Punny Humor
Harm your funny bone with groaner jokes, sharp word play humor, and intolerably funny puns.

Painful Puns and Groaner Jokes – Ouch!
(Because Agonizingly Funny Puns Painful Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Dominatrix Comedians!)
Warning: Proceed with Caution! Forehead protection advised! Slappy humor and harrowing puns ahead.
| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |

Whiteboards Are RemarkableWhen you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imaginationFour fonts walk into a bar. Bartender says: "Get out. We don't want your type in here."

Q. Why did you leave your last job?
A. Company relocated and didn't tell me where...

Q. What did the worker at the rubber band factory say after he lost his job?
A. Oh, Snap!

Q. What is it called if your surreptitiously pocket a pushpin out of an office supply store?
A. Sneak a tack.

A guy had a photographic memory that never developed... Orange you glad he woke up? That dream blue his mind.

Q. What do you call a peculiar fraternal society where members routinely hit each other on the head?
A. Bop Culture.

I bought hiking boots from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!

A magician walks down an alley and turns into a bar. After several drinks, he walked down another alley and turned into a bra.

An anagramist walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the clean fog?"

Q. What is it called when you take back everything you said, and then everybody else does likewise?
A. A chain retraction.

A Monkey Was Arrested for Throwing Rhesus Feces at the Patrons. He Was Charged with Turd Debris Assault.When the doctor asked an editor how he was doing, he said there was a problem with circulation.

Q. What do you call an angry monkey?
A. Furious George.

Q. What do you get when you poop in your overalls?
A. Dung-arees.

Q. What do monkeys wear while they're cooking?
A. Ape-rons.

Q. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites?
A. An URLologist.

Q. What do you get when you cross a sports reporter with a vegetable?
A. common tater!

Q. When do old newspaper editors die?
A. When they get depressed.

A dog with his leg wrapped in bandages hobbles into a saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

A man walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender asks, "Why the short face?"

A black widow drops into the bar. Bartender asks, "What's your poison?"

Past, Present & Future Walked Into a Bar. It Was Tense!Computer programs for gambling need beta testing.Q. Why does lightning shock people? A. Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself.

A book walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Please, no stories!"

A giraffe walks into a bar. Bartender asks, "Do you want a long neck?" Giraffe says, "Do I have a choice?"

A nonrenewable energy source walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You've been getting wasted all day!"

Painful Pun of the Day: Once again, Autocorrect has become my worst enema!

Q. How did the computer get drunk?
A. It took too many screen shots!

Q. What do you get if you cross a computer and a lifeguard?
A. A screensaver.

Q. How do lightning bolts flirt?
A. They electro-cute each other!

Q. What does a thunder cloud give on Valentine's Day?
A. A box of shock-o-lights!

Q. Where did the lightning bolt propose to his girlfriend?
A. On Cloud 9.

Gnome or nonsense or gnomer nonsense? U B da Pun Judge!Dijon Vu: The Same Mustard As Before. OUCH!Gnome Or Bad Puns!

At least we gnot an answer this time. What was the question again? Punny or not, here I come!

Q. Where do gnomes get their garden supplies?
A. Gnome Depot.

I relish the fact you've mustard the strength to ketchup on tasty puns.

Q. What is the prize in the big hot dog race?
A. Wiener takes all!

Q. Why do all hot dogs look the same?
A. Because they are in bread.

Q. What is the most gnome bull profession?
A. Torreador.

The end. Gnome or puns, for now anyway...

Q. What do you call the winner of a long-standing fight?
A. Survival of the feudist.

| Painful Puns & Groaner Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 |
| Brewed Puns | Fried Funs | Puns That'll Bug You | Soda Funny Puns | Puns to Wine About |
| Puns That Bite | Frightful Moans | Galactic Groans | Gnome Puns Intended | Haunting Puns |
| Hairy Puns | Artistic Funs | Stellar Puns | Pirate Groans | Puns That Smart | Spaced Out Puns |
| Delusional Puns | Sour Jokes | Puns That Suck | Toothless Groans | Turdy Puns | Weak Puns |


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You've toughed it out this far, so here's even more ghastly laughter,
wretched humor, and insufferable painful puns to boink your funny bone:

More Painful Puns, Groaner Jokes, and Unanswered Riddles...

| Bartender Puns | Blonde Jokes | Cheese Puns | Colorado Jokes | Diet Groans | Gym Moans | Magical Puns |
| Musician Puns | Old Jokes | Pet Puns | Pun Pick-Up Lines | Painful Groaner Jokes | Policeman Puns |
| Scary Funny Puns | Sci-Fi Funs | Seasonal Puns | Sports Jokes | Tech Puns | Weedy Fun | Zombie Groans |

Painful Jokes & Groaner Puns Cheesy Puns & Sharp Humor Funny Riddles, Punny Answers!
Crappy Puns & Sh*tty Jokes! Monstrously Funny Puns Pot Puns, Weed Jokes, Green Grow-ners!

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