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Q. How do you save a drowning pirate? A. With C P ARRR!
Pirate walks into a bar. Bartender: "Did you know there's a steering wheel in your pants?" Pirate: "Arrr and it's driving ne crazy!"
Q. What do pig sailors yell when they stop the ship? A. Oinkers Aweigh!
Q. How much does a pirate pay for corn? A. A buck an ear!
Q. Which exercise do pirates do for great abs? A. Planks!

 


Jolly Roger Jokes, Sea Raider Humor, Pirate Puns
Yarr! Hook up with high seas humor, poop deck puns, and a loaded arr-senal of pirate jokes.

Pirate Jokes, High Seas Puns, Marauder Humor
(Because Matey Funny Puns and Salty Sea Dog Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Pirate Comedians!)
Warning: Sail Forward with Caution! Landlubber jokes, mutinous humor, aft laffs and masty pirate puns ahead.
| Pirate Jokes and Arr-ful Buccaneer Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Salty Pirate Pick-Up Lines |
| Arr! Talk Like A Pirate Jokes | 2 | High Seas Humor, Boat Jokes, Sea Captain Puns | 2 |
| Pirate Cuisine Jokes and Salty Food Puns | Seafood Jokes, Crusty Crab Humor, Fish Fry Puns |
| Sport Fishing Jokes and Fisherman Puns | Fishy Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Groggy Jokes |

Q. What is a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? A. P – It would be R, but he's missing a leg!Q. What did the ocean say to the pirate? A. Nothing. It just waved!Q. How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply? A. He bought it on sail!

Q. What desk job is a pirate well-suited for?
A. News Anchor.

Q. How can you tell if a pirate has gone high-tech?
A. His iPatch gives him away.

Q. Why did the pirate walk the plank?
A. He couldn't afford a dog.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Aye lady, your grapefruits aRRRe the cure for me scurvy!

Q. Which pirate octopus was the most famous of all time?
A. Captain Squid.

Q. How do young pirates learn to read?
A. Hooked on Phonics.

Q. What is a pirate's favorite color?
A. Gold.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Are you a pirate? 'Cause my treasure map is pointing right toward your booty!

Q. What is the stinkiest part of a pirate ship?
A. The poop deck!

Q. Who would try to steal fool's gold?
A. A pyrite!

Q. What did the truck driver say to the pirate hitchhiker?
A. Hop aboard!

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Nice poop deck! Ye care for a swabbin'?

Q. What is a pirate's favorite cookie? A. Chips Ahoy!Q. How do ye make a pirate furious? A. Take away his P!Did you know hooks and wooden pegs are expensive these days? They cost an arm and a leg!

Q. Where do pirates get their chocolate?
A. From the Carob-bean.

Q. Where do one-legged pirates like to eat brunch when they're ashore?
A. At iHop!

Q. How much does a buccaneer pay for a tart?
A. The pie-rate.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: I see ye are drinking a Salty Dog. How'd you like to try the real thing?

Q. Which move is the favorite of the boxing pirate?
A. His left hook.

Q. Where do pirates store their weapons?
A. In an aRRRsenal.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Aye lass, but don't tell the other wenches 'cause we don't want to start a mutiny on this bounty.

Q. Where do pirate zombies like to go boating?
A. The Dead Sea.

Q. Why did the apprentice pirate refuse to say "Aye, Aye" to his captain?
A. Well, because he only had one eye!

Q. What happened when the red ship collided with the blue ship?
A. The sailors were all marooned!

Q. How do high tech pirates communicate?
A. With and ayePhone.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Aye Lassie, me peg leg isn't the only hard wood around.

Q. How are pirates and strawberry farmers different? A. A pirate buries his treasure but a farmer treasures his berries!Pirate Pick-Up Line: Doth ye desire to do some plundering with me?Q. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? A. Aye Matey!

Q. Why should pirates work for FedEx?
A. They have the fastest ships in the shipping business.

Q. Why don't young pirates trick or treat on Halloween?
A. Because they are afraid of the daRRRk.

Q. Why did the pirate captain want to hire a baseball player?
A. He knew he had a chest protector.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Wanna come back to my home port and see my dock?

Q. Where do ghost pirates go sailing?
A. Lake Eerie!

Q. Which instrument do rocker pirates usually play?
A. Lead guitaRRR.

Q. What do party pirates say to the last man to arrive?
A. Ahoy Latey!

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Well, just call me Landlubber, 'cause I'm about to plunder your Treasure Island.

Q. What does a pirate on shore leave wish for on his birthday?
A. A little booty!

Q. How much does a buccaneer pay for a tart?
A. The pie-rate.

Q. Why was it so hard to call the pirate on his birthday?
A. Because he left his phone off the hook.

Q. What do pirates do for fun?
A. They paRRRty heaRRRty!

Q. What is a pirate's favorite basketball move? A. The Hook Shot!Q. Which are the only notes a pirate vocalists can hit? A. The high Cs!Q. What does a pirate chef add to a plate to make it look nice? A. A Garrrnish!

Q. Which baseball team do buccaneers always root for?
A. Pittsburg Pirates!

Q. Which football team do pirates always root for?
A. Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Q. Why didn't the pirate tourist enjoy his seat at the Denver Broncos game?
A. Because he was in the last row.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: I hope ye like it clean matey, 'cause I'm about to swab your deck!

Q. What did the pirate say when asked if he was happy to spot land?
A. I shore am!

Q. What type of body protection did medieval pirates wear?
A. A suit of aRRmor.

Q. What is Bluebeard's favorite song?
A. Doubloon Moon.

Q. What is a pirate's favorite part of a song?
A. The Hook.

Q. Which key do most pirates sing in?
A. Sea Shark.

Q. Where do pirates keep singing seahorses?
A. In a coral choral corral.

Q. What do you call a group of rogue Canadians that sails the sea, singing about looting and stealing?
A. 21 Pirates.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Aye wench, come aboard, and I'll name me mast after ye.

Q. Do old sea pirates ever die?
A. No, they just end up a drift.

Q. Where do pirates like to cook their steaks?
A. On the baRRRbecue.

Q. What is a pirate's favorite green vegetable?
A. An aRRRtichoke.

Pick-Up a Pirate Line: Aye, that's quite a cutlass ye have thar. What ye need is a good scabbard.

Q. How did pirates describe ocean conditions after the whole crew took a dump?
A. Poop-sea.

Q. Which type of music do pirates listen to?
A. Anything they want, 'cause they're not paying for it anyway.

Q. When pirates aren't aboard their schooner, which sailing vessel do they embark on?
A. An aRRk.

| Pirate Jokes and Arr-ful Buccaneer Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Salty Pirate Pick-Up Lines |
| Arr! Talk Like A Pirate Jokes | 2 | High Seas Humor, Boat Jokes, and Sea Captain Puns | 2 |
| Pirate Cuisine Jokes and Salty Food Puns | Seafood Jokes, Crusty Crab Humor, Fish Fry Puns |
| Sport Fishing Jokes and Fisherman Puns | Fishy Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Groggy Jokes |
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| Hipster Jokes | Bad Hair Puns | 2 | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Light Bulb Jokes | Fair Weather Puns |

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