Yarrr! September 19 is International Talk Like a Pirate Day!   PainfulPuns.com - Puns, Jokes, Word Play, Groaners, Ouch!

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Q. What does a dyslexic pirate say? A. RRRRRA!
Q. Which candy do pirates like best? A. Sweet Tarrrts!
Pirate Pick-up Line: I'm a love pirate looking for some booty!
Q. Why was the pirate a boxing champion? A. Because of his powerful left hook!

 


Jolly Roger Jokes, Aye Humor, Maritime Puns
Weigh anchor with aye-ronic humor, groggy pirate puns, and ahoy-able high seas jokes.

Pirate Jokes, Booty Puns, Treasured Humor
(Because Skull Jokes and Crossed Bones Humor Could Never Be TOO Mainstream for Pirates on the Poop Deck!)
Warning: Sail the Seven Cs at Your Own Risk! Kraken humor, drifty laughs, piracy jokes and arr-ful puns ahead.
| Pirate Jokes and Arr-ful Buccaneer Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Salty Pirate Pick-Up Lines |
| Arr! Talk Like A Pirate Jokes | 2 | High Seas Humor, Boat Jokes, Sea Captain Puns | 2 |
| Pirate Cuisine Jokes and Salty Food Puns | Seafood Jokes, Crusty Crab Humor, Fish Fry Puns |
| Sport Fishing Jokes and Fisherman Puns | Fishy Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Groggy Jokes |

Q. Which kind of ship is feared most by pirates? A A Relationship!Q. Why are pirates leary of olcanoes? A. Because of the pirate-clastic flows!Q. What did the pirate name his dog? A. Patches!

Q. Why did the pirate have such a hard time with new relationships?
A. He was always looking for the X.

Q. What did the captain of the Beagle say when there was a crisis on board?
A. All Hounds On Deck!

Q. Why do pirates have such tight abs?
A. Planks. Lots of planks.

Q. When is a pirate ship just like winter snow?
A. When it's a drift.

Q. What is a pirate's favorite type of humor?
A. ARR-ony!

Q. Why did the pirate stop to put tape on a giant squid?
A. He was afraid it was a Kraken!

Q. What is the scariest thing to a pirate with a peg leg?
A. Termites.

Q. Which kind of pet fish do pirates prefer?
A. Goldfish!

Q. Where do pirates find new pet birds?
A. Parrots without Partners!

Q. Why didn't the pirate get a dog?
A. He didn't want more ship on the poop deck.

Q. What do you call a barking dog aboard an underwater ship?
A. A sub woofer.

Q. Which new photo-sharing app do pirates always use on their phones?
A. Aye-2-Aye.

Q. What happened when Blackbeard fell overboard into the Red Sea? A. He got marooned!Isn't it ironic that the Pirates of the Carribean DVD includes a piracy warning?Q. What do pirates usually order at Italian restaurants? A. Chicken Parrrmesan!

Q. Why couldn't the crew of the pirate ship play cards?
A. Because ye captian was standing on deck.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: A good pirate goes down with his ship? Wanna go down with me?

Q. Who does a pirate go see if he breaks his peg leg?
A. The caRRRpenter.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Aye, ye shall prepare to be boarded!

Q. What is a pirate's favorite movie?
A. Booty and the Beast.

Q. Why couldn't the kids go to the newest pirate movie?
A. Because it was rated aRRR.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Wench, ye are guilty of being hot and I hereby sentence ye to walk my plank.

Pick-Up a Pirate Line: Ahoy Matey! I'd beat your armada any day.

Q. Which seafood restaurant do most pirates prefer?
A. Long John Silver's.

Q. Which kind of crackers do pirates like in their clam chowder?
A. Goldfish!

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Lady, I've sailed the seven seas, and you're the sleekest schooner I've ever sighted!

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Ahoy! Let's weigh anchor!

Q. Why are pirates such great singers? A. they can hit the high Cs!Pirate Pick-Up Line: Are you a pirate? 'Cause I'm wondering whre you got that booty!Q. Why did the pirate go to college? A. to become an Arrrchitect!

Q. Who is a pirate's favorite classic rock singer?
A. Carlos Bandana. Aye, Yay!

Q. What is another fave music genre of pirates?
A. Rum 'n Bass.

Q. What did techie pirates store their data on during the '90s?
A. CD Rums.

Pick-Up a Pirate Line: Avast Sailor! I've crushed thirteen skulls and crossed bones – between me thighs!

Q. Which privateer wrote the book, A Booty of Pirate's Gold?
A. Barry D. Treasure.

Q. Why did the pirate go on a vacation?
A. He needed some ARR and ARR!

Q. What do pirates call a structure that spans across two ring-shaped islands?
A. Atoll bridge.

Q. What's the difference between an iceberg and a lint brush?
A. One crushes boats, but the other brushes coats.

Q. Why do pirates make such excellent fishermen?
A. Because they know how to hook the big ones!

Q. Why aren't pirates allowed to be contestants on Wheel of Fortune?
A. Because they always guess C.

Q. What's the name of the new Apple device created for one-eyed pirates?
A. iCaptain.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Aye, have ye ever met a man with a real yardaRRRm?

Q. How much is a pirate willing to pay for ear piercing? A. A buck an ear!Q. Why don't pirate marriages last? A. Because of all the arrguments!Q. What is a pirate's favorite doll? A. Barrrbie!

Q. How do successful pirates make their money?
A. By hook or by crook.

Q. Where do pirates prefer to dock their ships?
A. In a HaRRRbor.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Lass, they don't call me Long John Silver because my head is so big.

Q. What kind of animal do pirate ships with an ant problem keep on board?
A. AaRRdvarks.

Q. Who settles disputes between pirates?
A. An ARRbitrator.

Q. How did the pirate make his old ship look younger?
A. Boat-Tox.

Q. What does a sick pirate boat need to feel better?
A. A little vitamin sea.

Q. Which unlucky pirate, with no arms or legs, fell overboard?
A. Bob.

Q. Which student pirate always misses class?
A. Captain Hookey.

Q. What did they call the dumb blonde pirate?
A. The Pillage Idiot.

Q. Why did the pirate clown leave the cheesy circus?
A. Since he only had one leg, he couldn't get his Stilton.

Pirate Pick-Up Line: Is your name Roger? 'Cause you are makin' me Jolly.

| Pirate Jokes and Arr-ful Buccaneer Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | Salty Pirate Pick-Up Lines |
| Arr! Talk Like A Pirate Jokes | 2 | High Seas Humor, Boat Jokes, and Sea Captain Puns | 2 |
| Pirate Cuisine Jokes and Salty Food Puns | Seafood Jokes, Crusty Crab Humor, Fish Fry Puns |
| Sport Fishing Jokes and Fisherman Puns | Fishy Jokes | Finny Fish Puns | Groggy Jokes |
| Travel Jokes | World Traveler Jokes | Cross the Road Jokes | Time Travel Puns | Timely Jokes |
| Groaner Jokes | Daily Groaners | Police Puns | Lawyer Groans | Criminal Jokes | Money Groans |
| Hipster Jokes | Bad Hair Puns | 2 | Blonde Jokes | 2 | Light Bulb Jokes | Fair Weather Puns |

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