Q. What did Batman do at the deli? A. Got Ham!   PainfulPuns.com - Monstrously Funny, Hulking Pun Jokes, Ouch!

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Q. What keeps Bruce Wayne going? A. Bat-teries!
Q. What is it called when Iron Man does a cart wheel? A. A Ferrous Wheel!
Batman's foe says: I'm thirsty. Kapow! Batman says: I'm Batman!
Hulk Says: Happy? Mad Day!
Q. How many caped crusaders does it take to change a light bulb? A. None. They're not afraid of the dark!


Superhero Jokes, Hero Puns, Good vs Evil Humor
Magnificent comics memes, caped crusader jokes, good guy humor and painful kryptonite puns.

Heroic Jokes, Superhero Humor, POWerful Puns
(Because Real Life Do-Gooders and Caped Crusaders Couldn't Be TOO Mainstream if Some Joker is Bugging You!)
Warning: Proceed at Your Own Risk! The classic battle of SuperHero vs SuperVillain continues ahead. WHAM!
| Superhero Jokes, Caped Crusader Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Supervillain Jokes |
| Superhero Pick-Up Lines | 2 | The Hulk Hookups | Batman Chat Ups | Superman Come-Ons |
| Marvel Comics Jokes | Superhero Music Jokes | Superhero Loo LOLs | 2 | Female Superheroes |
| DC Comics Humor | POW! Batman Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Superman Jokes | Spider-Man Puns |
| Incredible Hulk Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Green Hulk Laughs | Super Chuck Norris Jokes |

Q. What is Batman's favorite part of the joke? A. The punch line!Q. Why did Batman get upset while playing cards? A. They kept saying the Joker is wild!Q. What is Superman's favorite part of this joke? A. The Punch Line!

Q. After a rough night of partying, how can you tell you were rescued by Batman?
A. The next morning, you wake up in a cave.

Q. What did Batman say to Mr. Freeze?
A. "The heat is on!"

Quote from Original TV Batman in the Batmobile: Salt and corrosion. The infamous old enemies of the crime fighter.

Q. What did Robin say when he saw the Help Wanted sign?
A. Batman, it looks like somebody at Taco Bell is in trouble!

Q. Why did all the pictures from the superhero party come out dark?
A. They forgot to invite The Flash.

Q. What is the worst stinking part about being a superhero?
A. It takes forever for a fart to exit a rubber suit!

Q. What kind of soap does Nick Fury lather up with to clean up the supervillains?
A. Shield.

Q. Which song does the Riddler hum while he's hatching a plot?
A. Who's the Bat (Man) by Patrick Stump.

Q. Why did his girlfriend dump the guy with too many Superman comics in his collection?
A. She said he just had too many issues.

Q. Why did Lois Lane break up with Superman?
A. Because she knew there wasn't really any kryptonite under the bed!

Q. Why does Superman only daytrade Bitcoin?
A. Because he can't go near Crypto at Night.

Q. What is Superman's favorite candy?
A. Clark Bars.

Q. Why did Superman flush the toilet? A. It was his duty!Batman Asks: Which days of the week are the strongest? A. Saturday & Sunday. The rest are week days!Hulk Says: Call me Spider-Man because I'm in love with Mary Jane!

Q. How do you describe a super fart?
A. You say, "@#$%!" without breathing.

Whoa! Now we finally know exactly how kryptonite cripples Superman!

Q. Who is the better businessman, Batman or Superman?
A. Superman, because you've never heard of a batmarket.

Q. Why does Superman move all his Bitcoin investments into a mutual fund after sunset?
A. To protect himself from Crypto night.

Q. Why is Thor the best superhuman superhero story?
A. Because he and his brother Loki were featured on the Ancient Aliens episode titled The Supernatural Ones!

Q. Why isn't there ever a Thor in an Avengers tribute performance?
A. Because he doesn't have a Loki-like.

Q. What is Thor's favorite Tex-Mex food?
A. Thor-tillas.

Thor Pick-Up Line: Hey baby, ever hook up with a Norse god? Hmm, didn't think so.

Q. What did Spiderman order at the street cafe in Paris?
A. French flies.

Q. Which tune does Peter Parker find amazing?
A. Spider-Man Science by Daniel Pemberton.

Q. Why does Spider-Man get so frustrated with the World Wide Web?
A. Because Google thinks his name is Spiderman, not Spider-Man!

Spiderman Pick-Up Line: Bae, you must be a bad girl 'cause my spidey senses are tingling south.

Q. What does Batman do for exercise? A. AeroBATics!Enjoy the weekend and have a super souper Sunday!Q. What did Batman say to his friend who'd been AWOL? A. Welcome Bat!

Q. Which super hero is the best cricket player?
A. Batman.

Q. Why did Batman climb a tree?
A. He was looking for teenage Robin's love nest (and Playbird Magazine).

Caped Crusader Pick-Up Line: I may be Batman, but you're Robin my heart.

Q. How is Batman like false teeth?
A. Both only come out at night.

Q. What is the first thing Bruce Wayne learned in kindergarten?
A. The alpha-bat.

Q. How long does it take Superman to fly across the country?
A. Under an hour – unless he's on standby.

Q. Why is it so easy for Superman to leap higher than tall skyscrapers?
A. Because buildings can't jump!

Did you know that Superman and Chuck Norris had a bet? The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants...

Superman Pick-Up Line: Hey there babe, you seem stressed. Wanna come back to my fortress of solitude.

Q. Why doesn't Superman need a boss?
A. Because he already has supervision!

Batman Pick-Up Line: Gotham City might need a vigilante, but tonight I just need those vigilantitties.

Q. Why does Batman hate the song Jinglebells?
A. Because Batman does not smell!

Q. What is Batman's least favorite Xmas song?
A. Jingle Bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel, and the Joker got away.

Q. What is Batman's New Years Resolution?
A. Um, Batman doesn't make resolutions; he enforces them!

Zap! The work week is finally over! Happy Friday!Q. What is the difference between Batman and a unicorn? A. Nothing, they're both fictional characters?Superman, Santa Claus, and a blonde saw $1 on the sidewalk. Who picked it up? A. The blonde, because the other two don't exist!

Superhero Point to Ponder: If Xena Warrior Princess and Spiderman went into business together, would they call it Amazon Web Services?

Q. What is Spider-Man's favorite day of the week?
A. Fly Day!

Q. Why did Spider-Man drive off in his buddie's car?
A. He wanted to take it out for a spin.

Q. What did Iron Man say to Spider-Man?
A. Don't bug me, Man!

Gotham City Blues: My boss told me to dress for the job I want, not the job I have. So now, I'm sitting in HR dressed like Batman.

Batman Pick-Up Line: Babe, when the Dark Knight rises, he always wears his suit to protect you from sexually transmitted disasters.

Q. What did Batman say to his girlfriend on February 14?
A. You not being my Valentine would be an inJustice!

Batman Pick-Up Line: Hey girl, you don't need a bat signal to make me come!

Q. Which holidays do citizens of Metropolis celebrate?
A. Christopher Eves.

Did you know Superman has a brother who does not celebrate Christmas? Yeah, his name is No-El.

Q. Why did Superman have to go by the alias "Clark Kent?"
A. Because the name "Chuck Norris" was already taken in the future!

Q. Where does Superman like to go on vacation when he's in the Southern Hemisphere?
A. Cape Town.

| Superhero Jokes, Caped Crusader Puns | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Supervillain Jokes |
| Superhero Pick-Up Lines | 2 | The Hulk Hookups | Batman Chat Ups | Superman Come-Ons |
| Marvel Comics Jokes | Superhero Music Jokes | Superhero Loo LOLs | 2 | Female Superheroes |
| DC Comics Humor | POW! Batman Jokes | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | Superman Jokes | Spider-Man Puns |
| Incredible Hulk Jokes | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | Green Hulk Laughs | Super Chuck Norris Jokes |

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